Finding myself

I find myself growing tired
I find myself angry all the time
I find myself increasingly frustrated

I find myself doing things to hurt you
I find myself bitter
I find myself not caring --
or caring too much
I find myself reacting to my surroundings

Where am I in all of this?

Finding a smile

Finding a smile in a crowded room
I noticed you
You tossed your hair over your shoulder, carefree
Your beautiful eyes glowed while you spoke
Your bright red lips glistened as if wet
I wanted you

Finding a smile in a crowded room
I noticed you again
Your face seemed sad
Your eyes were filled with fire
Your dark lips quivered with every breath
I wanted you more

Finding a smile in an empty room
I came home to you
Your smile was warm
Your eyes lit up the room
Your beautiful lips kissed me
We are one

The Grand Director

The thumb comes rushing down and flat I fall

What have I done?

You exist to please me.

Crushing me makes you happy?

I keep you alive if it pleases me.

Only now do I understand
Puppets and playthings
A game that ends in death
All for the pleasure of our Grand Director.

Frustration

Empty time
wasting away
nothing to do
nothing to say

Speed up
slow down
never stop
stand still --
the tension will eventually
break my will

Today never comes
and tomorrow never goes
dreams are like liquid
melting into woes

Blah

I am a bitter, angry man. I am mad at
everything and no one. The hatred in me
belongs to someone other than me, but I
cannot give it away. Anger is my security
blanket; no one can hurt me.

Desperate

out of breath
can't wait, can't wait
beads of sweat dripping down
need to get there
heart racing
running faster, running faster
I can almost taste it
where's the exit?

Dead End

falling
short bursts
low rumble
tip tap tip tap
slumber
into the open grave
only the darkness witnesses this