Yep, that's right. I'm self-important enough to think that my advice will change your life.
E-mail me and I'll post your question anonymously (if you desire) and respond right here in front of God and everybody.
From Anonymous:
"An old porn star friend shows up at a reunion and wants to celebrate in a way that former porn pals do. I am now a Christian and am uninterested in partaking in my old ways, but she is very hard to say no to. What should I do?"
The first thing to do is go to the Lord with this problem. He knows how difficult it is to resist earthly temptations, He can help you with your biggest temptation. Ask him to make you strong before you see this girl and ask Him to give you the right words and actions to help her to back off, and possibly to lead her to the Lord. When you see her, make it quite obvious immediately that you are completely uninterested in partaking in your old ways. Do NOT lead her on in any way. Let her know, in a subtle way, that you are a Christian and are now devoted not to the flesh, rather to the Lord. If she just doesn't get it, and you feel yourself being drawn in, go Benny Hinn. At first, the Christian thing might seem for her like a minor stumbling block on the way to the bedroom with you. That's why Stacey's Advice™ is allowing you to be as Benny Hinn as possible to get her off your jock. After a while, she's going to be so annoyed that she totally won't want you. It may alienate her, but this is the best way to avoid that ride in the sin time machine. If it comes down to it, go ahead and lay your hand on her head and yell "Harlot, thou art healed!"
Do wait as long as possible before breaking out your inner Hinn though. You are truly a testament to the fact that someone with a spotted past can be a shining light to others. It sounds as if she's hurting for love, and showing her that God's love won't give her STDs and will still respect her in the morning may be the best thing you've ever done for her.
Best wishes. I've been in a very remotely similar situation (ex-boyfriend wanted to rekindle a relationship and I was uninterested). He was a nice guy, just not Christian and it showed. Too bad Stacey's Advice™ wasn't around.
From Anonymous:
"say you know someone who is into animal and kiddie porn, watches it in front of family members but his mom is in total denial and blames it on his brother, which could cause problems when interpol comes knocking on the door for his computer hard drive. My question is how does the brother who is getting blamed for everything protect himself when the pedo-zoophile gets caught by the fbi or interpol, because the whole family is suffering from delusions of denial and refuses to believe that the good son has random illegal porn habits?"
I'd say the first
course of action is a little toughlove for the pedophile. Like a cast-iron
pan upside the head or something (sorry, I display violent tendencies when
children are being hurt). I'll do the cast-iron panning myself.
If he's truly innocent, he should submit
the computer to the FBI or INTERPOL for evidence and the immediate punishment of
his brother. The longer bad brother looks at child pornography, the more
children get hurt. If for some reason good brother can't do that, or is
too afraid to, he should immediately move out. If he's getting blamed for
such heinous activity by his own mother, he's got no allies in his own house to
provide any kind of protection from the law. Also, if he moves out, the
government can determine that illegal activity continued after he left the house
and that'll be big evidence in his favor. If he can't move out, he should
wipe out that whole hard drive, get some sort of parental blocking on the
Internet, and start gathering character witnesses and lawyer's phone numbers.
He should also try to convince his
mom and brother into counseling, stat. He may want to seek counseling
himself, as he is likely dealing with abandonment issues.
From Craig:
"A Christian friend of mine knows this Christian woman. She has a male friend that she likes to hang out with, but there is no physical stuff going on. She does not want a relationship with my friend because of this other guy friend, but when she does see my friend, they get kind of lip locked. Should my friend cut out this physical friendship or keep on going? No sex yet, but he may weaken in the wrong situation."
He should cut it out. If he can't resist the temptation to smooch a woman who is already in a quasi-relationship with another guy, he most likely won't be able to resist the temptation to go "too far." He should wait until she is concentrated on him, and him alone, then develop a physical relationship with which he is comfortable.
From Craig:
"So I got a HUGE* bonus. What should I do with it? Buy clothes. Buy a motorcycle. Put it in the bank. Buy new furniture. Buy new carpeting."
*actual amount of bonus changed to protect Craig from money hungry readers.
Donate first and foremost. Then beauty. Then home decor. Wait until the mid-life crisis is over before you go for the motorcycle... impulse buys are always bad.