His Side

My blog / My other blog

February 2, 2005

What the heck happened to January? No updates the whole month! That's unprecedented, if you don't count all the months, years, and centuries before we started this page. After Christmas and New Year's, we had about a week to catch our breath before heading up to Indiana to visit Stacey's dad.

Indiana... you know, the place that just got hit with 20+ inches of snow a couple of weeks before. I was more than a little concerned about the kind of weather we were going to be driving in. Who decided prepositions can't go at the end of sentences? Anyway, I considered getting a set of tire chains for the Jeep just in case, but Stacey assured me that there wouldn't be snow. She also assured me, based on the word from Vicki, that her uncles were going to destroy me at the family get together - you know, the typical harass the boyfriend/husband/SO type thing.

We set out for Memphis on a Thursday evening. The plan was to stay the night, go to Graceland in the morning, and then drive all day to Newburgh. Elvis' mansion was cool, but hopelessly tacky. I'm happy to say that my kitchen is bigger than the King's, and isn't gross 70's colors. In his TV room I thought to myself "My Playstation 2 is more valuable than everything in here."

Our stay in Indiana was full of fun and adventure. Rob fell down three times, and got hit in the head once by my Jeep. We had a seventy-nine million course meal at a new Greek Restaurant in Evansville. I'm still full from that one. The get-together/party at Stacey's cousin Kyla's house was the most fun. There was karaoke, deer salami, and homemade wine.

Not to mention squirrels and all the funny things they say.

So it was at this party where Stacey's uncles were supposed to let me have it. I was prepared to serve it right back to them, but they were good the whole night. Until we were leaving the party; then uncle Bill and uncle Jim decided it was time to rub my nipples. I didn't really have an answer for that. I wasn't going to rub their nipples.

On that note, I sign off.

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4-5-05 - Hark!  An entry?  Nope, it's just me announcing my new blog.  I think we're going to phase out The Spiehler Spot, so check out my new blog from now on. 

Introducing:  Housewife in Flip Flops

Bookmark it, suckers!

3-2-05 - Gosh, Bob Barker is a cranky dude.  He actually told a very well-coiffed young man on today's episode that he'd break his arm.  He's been scolding people throughout the entire episode.  One girl won her prize, started jumping up and down and started to approach him for a hug, and he said "Stay away from me!"  People laugh it off because one must respect one's elders especially when one's elder is old enough to have changed Jesus' diapers.  Time to retire, Bob.  The animals would want it.

Oh, and here's an aside to the toilet hovering women out there - be honest, do some of you hover and do the Macarena mid-stream?  The bathroom I saw last night was certainly indicative of such multi-tasking.  That is absolutely disgusting, ladies.  The least you can do is wipe up your nastiness. 

I have good news to counter all that complaining, though!  Although I haven't done any kind of exercising or dieting over the past 5 months or so, I actually weigh less than I did in October.  How is that possible?  I actually only weigh 1 pound more than I did at my lowest dieting weight.  Yeee-haw!  Now, I'm not saying that not dieting works - I'm just saying I feel great that I haven't gained all the weight I thought I did.  Yay!

By the way...  Ooooooooh....  Seriously freaky.  *updated warning*:  DO NOT WATCH this video if you are scared by sudden things like I am.  I didn't watch this video the whole way through yesterday before I posted the link, and when I watched the whole thing today (Mar. 3), it scared me half to death.  I'm talking screaming and tears, people.  At the very end, something really scary will jump out at you.  I HATE THAT.  The rest of the video is pretty interesting though.  If any of you have watched the video and were scared to the point of soiling your pants at the end, I VERY sincerely apologize.

2-27-05 - Rob and Cristi, here are your interview questions.  Answer them on your blogs, and offer to interview anyone who is interested.  At the end of your answers, copy and paste the following so you can interview your readers: 

1. Leave me a comment saying “interview me.”
2. I will respond by asking you five questions.
3. You will update your blog/site with the answers to the questions.
4. You will include this explanation and an offer to interview someone else in the same post.
5. When others comment asking to be interviewed, you will ask them five questions. (Write your own questions or borrow some.)

FOR CRISTI: 

1. What do you feel is the most important thing you've learned from your parents?

2. If you could name your children (whether or not you're going to have them) anything you wanted at all, what would it be?  Anything goes!

3. What do you love most about Samir?

4. What is your biggest regret?

5. What do you love most about yourself? 

FOR ROB:

1. Who would play you in the movie of your life?

2. What's the biggest lie you ever told?

3. Pick one non-fictional person, dead or alive, that you would say is your hero, and tell us why he/she is your hero.

4. What's the first thing you would do with $1 million?

5. What do you love most about yourself?

Anyone else?

2-25-05 - Please pray for Terri Schiavo.  This woman is not braindead, she's not in a coma, she's not in a vegetative state.  She's got a whole mess of brain damage, but she recognizes her parents when they walk in a room.  The only thing she needs is a feeding tube.  Unfortunately, her "husband" (a term I use loosely) wants to take this one lifeline away from her and let her starve to a long, slow death.  Her parents want to take permanent custody of her and take care of her.  Which seems to be the more ethical option?  When in doubt, choose life, people.  Seriously. 

Last night I was in bed and had to move the phone to get to my book.  (I've been keeping our cordless phone next to my bed since my job interview on Tuesday.  Does this make me pathetic?)  I accidentally pressed a button on the phone and made a relatively loud noise with it.  I looked over to see if I had woken Drew up, which I had.  He rolled over, sniffled, said "Flying Nun," and went back to sleep.  Doesn't he know that making me laugh to the point of tears makes my eyes puffy in the morning?  "Flying Nun?" 

Now, here's an nifty interview thingy from my Cousin Nina.  (Here's her blog, but just in case you didn't look the first time, my cousin Nina wrote a GREAT book that's a must for every Louisiana native or Louisiana lover or hiker or anybody ever.)  "The Interview" has been running around the Internet, and you of course want to be a part of what's going around the 'net, right?  Cousin Nina's questions are in bold, and my answers are all regular type. 

1.  If you could have any type of "superhero power" (flying, x-ray vision, etc.), what would it be, and why?

Of all the existing superhero powers, I think I'd choose flying.  I'd sure get to New York in May a whole lot cheaper.  If I could make up my own superhero power, I'd be the Women and Unborn Babies Hero.  Leaping over tall buildings to show women they deserve better than abortion, that's me.

2.  What do you miss most about living in California, and what do you miss least?

Miss most:  Goddaughters, friends, and scenery.  Miss least:  Cost of living.

3.  If you could undo one thing or action in your past, what would it be?

I wouldn't have left my Aunt Sandy's side. 

4.  What do you love most about your husband, Drew?

If only you had asked about my other husband, Antonio.  But seriously folks.  I think what I love most about Drew is that he loves me, which can sometimes prove difficult.  Oh, and his occasional nocturnal musings which leave me howling with laughter.

5.  If you were to recommend a book, movie, or television show that would remind me most of you, what book/movie/show would it be (and why?) 

You couldn't stick with the easy questions, now could you?  I identify a little bit with every one of the characters in Dead Poets Society, one of my favorite movies ever.  I identify with Chloe from "Smallville," because Drew was my Clark.  But I don't know that any one fictional character would remind you of me. 

Okay, if you want me to interview you, and you know you do, here are the rules.

1. Leave me a comment saying “interview me.”
2. I will respond by asking you five questions.
3. You will update your blog/site with the answers to the questions.
4. You will include this explanation and an offer to interview someone else in the same post.
5. When others comment asking to be interviewed, you will ask them five questions. (Write your own questions or borrow some :o)

2-23-05 - I swear today's someone's birthday.  No, seriously, someone I know.  Don't you hate when that happens to you?

A pet peeve of mine:  When people say "2am in the morning."  "am" means "morning," folks. 

Something I love (to counter negative karma):  When Janis Joplin sings "Me and Bobby McGee."  What a GREAT song. 

Another pet peeve:  There's a commercial about nail fungus where this little cartoon fungus thing lifts up a toenail to jump under it.  I don't know how to spell the noise you make when you shudder and cry out in disgust, but every time I see that commercial, that's the noise I make. 

New Friend Emily wins the award for funniest comment I've heard all week: 
Stacey:  "Do you think it's acceptable to wear backless shoes to a job interview?"
New Friend Emily:  "Yeah, just not backless pants." 

And, as expected (by me, if nobody else), my update on the happenings of the last few weeks. 

From the 9th-15th, I went to California.  I had a whole mess of fun.  Highlights include:

•  Dani and Ashley's joint birthday party at Chuck E Cheese's.  I have some ridiculously cute pictures to post of that, but don't hold your breath.  I've proven to be REALLY bad at posting pictures. 

• Going to school with my goddaughters.  I even had a few tears in my eyes when I saw how smart Megan is and how well she does in class. 

• Going to the Rainforest Cafe with Billy and Terri.  Now that place is fun.  Animals come out of the ceiling and stuff.

• Flopping around in the Love Sac store in the Ontario Mills mall with Billy and Terri. 

• Watching a movie going to a movie theater with Terri and the goddaughters.  When you go to a movie with three little girls and their three tiny bladders and their three big drinks, you ain't doin' much movie watchin'. 

• 6 full days of non-stop hugs and kisses from the three cutest little girls in the entire universe. 

• Going to my old church and missing it like CRAZY. 

• Potluck at my old church.  Helloooo, Nancy's lasagna.

• Leslie's beef stroganoff and COOKIES.  Oh, and visiting with Leslie was nice, too.  (Love ya, pook.)

• Driving the levato.  The Porsche has nothing on that bad boy.

Seeing most of my other California friends was pretty great too.  I miss you guys.  Come to Mississippi.  It's cheaper, cleaner, and very few natural disasters!

The 19th was our housewarming party.  Drew got up at 5 am (in the morning) to start smoking a 15 pound brisket.  I got up at 7 to start making cheesecakes.  Let me tell you right now, getting up early for those two things was totally worth it.  The brisket was AMAZING and the cheesecakes were the most popular thing at the party.  The party was so much fun.  Lots of socializing, lots of eating, and BEERBALL!  We missed you, Angie!  Hope you feel better!

Okay, that's about it for today.  Smallville looks pretty lame tonight.  Bye!

2-18-05 - Today's birthdays include a smattering of incredibly cool people.  Just a sample:  Molly Ringwald, Dr. Dre, Matt Dillon, John Travolta, Vanna White, and the one, the only Bloody Mary. 

These people, however, aren't nearly as cool as my no-longer-long-lost Cousin Nina.  She's a great writer, a great support system when I'm down, an avid hiker (and I mean SERIOUS hiker - the girl could probably walk from San Francisco to New York City and back again with a big smile on her face) and just an all around great person.  Happiest of happy birthdays, Cousin Nina!  I'm so glad we're in touch and I'm especially glad God made us cousins.  Love you lots and lots! 

Note - I swear, this is the last birthday update this month. 

Note 2 - Hello to all my new readers!  Sign my guestbook!  (Thanks, Billy!)

2-15-05 - So I flew home from California today (more on that later) and since I realized a couple days ago that Dreamcatcher, a Stephen King book my stepmom lent me, just is NOT holding my attention, I bought a Cosmo at the Atlanta airport to read during the hour-and-some-change-flight from Atlanta to Jackson.  They have this monthly column about how great the writers' boyfriends are and what nice things they've done and one girl said something about her wonderful boyfriend and what he had done on their three month anniversary.  I then realized that today is our 47 month anniversary!  Drew forgot though.  I mean, I understand some men tend to forget things, but how he could actually have the gall to forget our 47 month anniversary is just beyond me.  I mean, 47 months, that's gotta be some sort of record for a couple married in Los Angeles. 

Anyway, I promise to write more later.  I just suffered a lapse in my ability to generally only write interesting things on my website.  Get over it. 

2-8-05 - HAPPY BIRTHDAY COUSIN VERONICA!!!  Today, dear readers, my favorite New York cousin turns 21.  I am incredibly proud of this cousin, that she hasn't spent her life and college career sidetracked by drugs, drinking, or boys, and has been diligent in pursuing her dream.  She's highly intelligent, mature beyond her years, and MAN is she good at Dance Dance Revolution.  I'm proud to call her my cousin and friend.  MC Cuz'n La'Vronica, I hope you have the best birthday yet! 

It's also Mardi Gras!  I'm sad that we're not there this year, but hey, it'll be there next year.  Should you desire to watch some of the insanity live, or see a few of the pictures, go to NOLA's webcam website and check out the various webcams.  Be careful of that bourbocam though - body parts abound.  Check out the parade cam or the karaoke cam.  Good times. 

I'm leaving tomorrow morning for California.  I'll be gone till next Tuesday, so no updating till then.  I hope I've lowered your expectations enough by not updating during the entire month of January so this next updateless week won't be so hard on your sensibilities.  I'd also like to make sure MC Cuz'n Waterfizzle and MC Cousin La'Vronica don't put out another set of APBs on me.  Y'all have a good week!

2-5-05 - Millions of people are celebrating their birthday today, but it just so happened that the Lord chose February 5th as the birthday for two of the most important people in my life.  Funny how things happen that way.  (It's also my half-birthday.)

Let's start with my goddaughter Danielle.  (Sorry, Rob, she's cuter.)  I remember the day she was born - I was working for her parents, newly engaged, and having one of the happiest times of my life.  When Drew and I made that long, hard trip alllll the way up to Cedars Sinai to visit her for the first time, I held a newborn for the first time ever.  What a great Robbie Gras present!  I was overwhelmed with emotion and love and protection for this child, and I had just met her.  Holding her reinforced the knowledge that I was meant to be a parent.

I saw that little girl nearly every day for the next few years, until her parents moved an hour and a half away.  She had the absolute CUTEST baby talk, what with the squeaking and the laughing mid-"sentence" and the words she used to say.  When she was about 8 months old, whenever there was an unexpected noise, she would perk up, scope the area with this ultra-concerned look, and squeak "ossA?"  ("What's that?")  I have loved watching that little girl grow up so far, and couldn't love her more if someone surgically augmented my heart.

 Happy fourth birthday, angel!!!  I love you!!!

Today is also Robbie Gras, the holiday during which we celebrate the birth of our future ruler, the one, the only, Captain Kahunah, Rob Cerio.  I met Rob at Casino Night at Bienville Hall back in Fall of 1998, and since then he's been the big brother I never had.  He always had to meet my dates before I went on them, always gave me advice when I needed it, and gave me hugs when I had a really horrible day and couldn't stop crying because a jerk in a kiosk just yelled at me and the love of my life had just moved 2000 miles away and I was 19 and that's hard in and of itself. 

Rob's had a ridiculously rough year, no, seriously, a HARD year, but it's been amazing watching him keep his humor intact.  You haven't lived until you've heard Rob sing every word of "Only the Good Die Young."  I'm not a road trip person, but Rob's passion for road trips is somewhat contagious, making that trip to Indiana much more fun. 

I love ya dearly, Rob, and I hope Robbie Gras 2005 is the second best one ever (cuz you KNOW Robbie Gras 1999 was the bomb).  Happy birthday! 

2-2-05 - So Monday afternoon, I went to Walmart.  In the rain.  In flip-flops.  Going anywhere in flip-flops when it's raining isn't entirely bright anyway, but y'all know me and my flip-flop addiction.  Gimme a break.  I made the mistake of walking on a painted section of the parking lot, slipping, and coming down HARD on my knee.  It seriously hurt. 

The point of my story is not to make you read my whining.  The point is to ask my beloved readers if any of you is more grossed out by your own owies than you are by anyone else's.  I can watch those emergency room and operation shows until the cows come home, but when I was cleaning my bobo Monday night, I came thisclose to fainting.  I wasn't even grossed out or anything, but all of a sudden my head got really heavy and swimmy and I went stone cold deaf.  Strangest thing ever. 

So yesterday, I was watching TV and one of those crazy lawyer commercials came on, and while I normally don't pay attention to those, this one was the most solid affirmation of my Mississippi residency to date.  How many other states can claim a TV lawyer named Bubba Muse?  Not many, I'll betcha. 

2-1-05 - Spurt! 

Look, folks, it's been busy.  Seriously, very busy. 

The thing that caused two of my cousins to put APBs on me was my trip to Indiana.  At first, I was going to go alone.  Then Drew decided he wanted to come, and then Rob made an offhand comment about never having seen that part of the country before, and while I couldn't imagine how someone from New York City would want to see Boonville, Indiana, I invited him along.  A little kidnapping, and a happy quartet were we.  (My sincere apologies to Angie.)  Angie, Rob, Drew, and I stopped in Memphis overnight and saw Graceland.  As Rob said (and I paraphrase), money don't buy good taste.  We stayed in Indiana for a few days, and on the way back down stopped in Metropolis, Illinois, a city which is obsessed with Superman.  There's a HUGE Superman statue in front of the town hall.  Needless to say, Rob was as giddy as a little girl.  It was a little boring to me, but it was fun to hang out in a huge chunk of Americana. 

A few highlights from that trip:  Seeing most of my family - notable exceptions being Chris, Katy, and the Alaska crew.  Ignoring my horrible voice and actually singing karaoke.  Getting the things out of storage that I've wanted for the past 7 years.  Meeting my new aunt.  Spending hours and hours and hours in small quarters with three of my best friends in the world and not getting into any arguments with them.  Finding out my kitchen is bigger than Elvis'.  Getting like 5 new snowglobes.  I LOVE snowglobes.  Everyone in my huge readership should send me snowglobes.

The next weekend was (cue Jaws music) the visit from the Mother-In-Law.  I have to admit, it was not NEARLY as bad as I thought it would be, except for the constant little suggestions of things I HAVE to do and NEED to do and the constant, constant complaining. 

However, my poor cats will never be the same.  For the life of me, many people can NOT get Nimbus' name right.  For example, Rob calls him Dingus.  Over the course of 4 days, the mother-in-law called poor Nimbus the following names:

1. Nimbo

2. Bimbo

3. Nimbo-Bimbo

4. Bumbus

5. Boo-Boo

6. Boom-Boom

7. Bee-Bee

8. Tinkerbell

9. Cosmo

10. Cosmos

Nim-BUS.  NIMBUS.  It's phonetic, it's easy on the tongue, it's not that hard to remember.  The mother-in-law just can't handle it.  Pez caught her wrath once, too.  He knocked a vase into the sink one morning and at random intervals for the rest of the day, she was yelling "BAD PEZ!" and shaking her finger in his face.  He understands "Bad" and "No" and the shaking of the finger, and I'd rather he didn't associate licking himself with being a bad kitty, thankyouverymuch.

The FOLLOWING weekend, I brought my little brother to New Orleans for a Hornets game.  I got the hookup with some tickets, a parking pass, and my own little spot on the big screen.  Yes, that's right, I was on the big screen.  How cool is that?  Thanks a billion, Andy! 

I rounded out my January on Saturday by cleaning out the garage.  There are only three things that remain to be organized in my house, and they're all relatively minor and will be completely organized by this weekend! 

On the schedule for February:  On the 9th, I'm flying to California to see my BABIES!!!  Oh, and some other people too.  I can't really remember their names because DID YOU SEE MY GODDAUGHTERS?!  I'm going to spend 6 short days with them, including Ashley's birthday (she's the blonde).  I could NOT be more excited.  Hopefully, I'll also be getting Lasik surgery this month.  The 19th is our housewarming party. 

Now your hunger has been satisfied for updates.  Look at that big gaping hole on my husband's side.  Can you believe he loves his blogs more than he loves you?