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11-30-04 - "While millions of Americans undoubtedly welcome any TSA indignity under the guise of 'preventing terrorism,' millions more are not willing to give blind obedience to arbitrary authority.  (...)  How we as Americans react to authoritarian agencies like TSA is an indicator of how much we still value freedom over our persons and effects."

From the article "Bullies at the Airport," by Ron Paul.  Please, please read the article. 

When I took my little sister to the airport last week, I was amused by the fact that she was pulled out of line to be searched.  After she had been "wanded" three times, I could tell she was starting to get an attitude.  Throwing hands up in the air and shrugging and stuff.  I couldn't quite explain my panic at her attitude until I read this article. 

TSA agents are not the type to take an attitude in stride.  No, they're TSA agents, and whatever they do, you must bow to them.  If they want to place an open hand on your child's rear end under the guise of rooting out terrorists, you must bow to them.  If they want to detain you for a strip search when you know you must either strip in front of 3 men or miss your flight because you're waiting for a female agent, you must bow to them.  For, you see, before September 11th, they were just regular old security guards, and now they're federal agents. 

The TSA is now allowing breast and genital searches.  Do you honestly think they're only going to search the people who appear to be threatening?  You see, you can't change a person's class, as evidenced by the Pacers-Pistons brawl.  You can't take a security guard, a position generally held by people who were rejected by their neighborhood Taco Bell, and promote them to TSA agents, and give them authoritarian control over your entire person and all of your possessions and expect them to treat that position with respect and dignity.  This is why women are getting searched at a much higher rate than men. 

Please, people, don't give up your personal freedoms and your right to not have totally unprofessional goons feel you up, your child up, your wife up - don't let this happen!  This is not stopping terrorism - this is taking away your absolute right to control over your own body.  Stop being such an anti-terrorism automaton and protest.  Don't wait for this to happen to you.

11-29-04 - New stuff on the advice column!  Much thanks to anonymous! 

By the way, I crank out the advice, kids.  Unfortunately, y'all aren't asking.  Help a sister out.  E-mail me with your most heartwrenching problems, and I'll deal with them in a light, but sage manner.  Don't worry, you can be anonymous.  I guess I'll find some way for people to be anonymous to even me.  Yeah, that's a good idea.  I am on a ROLL.  I even advise myself.

I delight thoroughly in the reactions of my Californian friends when they find out how much my house cost.  I get mostly "are you kidding mes" and "are you seriouses," but today alone, I got an "Are you f***ing serious" and a definite use of the Lord's name in vain, both from the same guy.  It was pretty funny.  Funniest yet has been the fact that I can elicit pronouncements of hatred from one guy every time I mention my house payments, the cost of gas, or the cost of groceries around here.  I can do it every time I talk to him, too.  I have absolute power.  Dance, California boy, dance.

Today, I got the January issue of Redbook.  Generally, they have seemingly balanced, married, settled celebrities on the cover.  They've had Faith Hill, Tim McGraw, and Martina McBride very recently.  Who is on the cover this month but Britney "55 Hours" Spears.  BRITNEY SPEARS!?  Whose idea was this?  I like seeing people whose marriages I can admire, not people whose husbands are sloppy seconds from women who are 8 months pregnant.  What do I have to learn on the betterment of my marriage from a homewrecker?

Also on the cover of this issue of Redbook is a line promising an article on how to be more decisive.  I still haven't decided to read a similar article in October's Good Housekeeping.  Gimme a break, I'm trying to finish a book, and it's taking up all my reading time. 

11-27-04 - If you needed more proof that my husband is the funniest man on the planet, read his two most recent blog entries.  Otherwise, one of the funniest quotes of the past few days (and believe me, there have been a lot of funny quotes in the past few days, what with Rob being up here):

Scene:  Brainstorming over a gift for a friend of ours in California.
Stacey:  "He likes the Cowboys, the Dodgers, and the Lakers."
Drew (without missing a beat):  "How about a picture of a cowboy dodging a lake?

By the way, I met a cauliflowervangelist during my Thanksgiving travels in the form of MY BEST FRIEND.  You'd think that since he reads my website, he'd understand that I simply hate cauliflower and I don't care if you mash it up and put sour cream in it like Dr. Atkins does I HATE CAULIFLOWER.  The main ingredient in your mashed cauliflower is STILL CAULIFLOWER. 

Oddly enough, I like raw cauliflower.  Splain me that.

Also, my friend Alyson's birthday was exactly 10 days ago and it totally slipped my mind because I'm pretty much a bad person.  Happy very, very, very late birthday, Alyson!

I hope y'all had a wonderful Thanksgiving.  I truly did, and I'd do it all over again! 

11-23-04 - Every single morning, I check my e-mail, Yahoo news' front page, Yahoo news' most popular page, and the websites/blogs/journals of: Veronica, Jonathan, Nina, Drew (No Beans), Drew (Mind Garage), Kitty, Rob, Aunt Sherry, Cristi, Dooce, and the Fug Girls.  I then check our guestbook to see if anyone has signed.  Next is *siiiigh* Burlap to Cashmere's website to see if they've posted anything new (not since June, but I still check every day, by golly) and Steven Delopoulos' website to see when, if ever, he's coming to the South.  Well, any closer than Atlanta.  Not that I wouldn't go to Atlanta, but I sometimes just hope to get lucky and see him in Gulfport or something.  I LOVE Steven Delopoulos.  I then check On This Day's website to see what celebrities are celebrating birthdays today.  Sometime during the day, I check antiwar.com's blog and costofwar.com.  I'm not sure if I have too much time on my hands, or too many friends/family members with websites/blogs.

11-22-04 - You know you're an adult when you look in the refrigerator to see what you're going to have for lunch, see that you have leftover meatloaf, and you're ecstatic about it.  Man, I love meatloaf.  My dad's meatloaf is the bomb, but my husband doesn't like it that way.

Among the things the mother-in-law has given us for which I am extremely thankful is a nice set of glasses.  However, if you've known me for any amount of time, you know how much I drop and/or break things.  A bit of gambling...  If you can guess how long it takes from now for me to break one of those glasses in any way, I'll send you a dollar.  Put your guesses in my guestbook.  Whoever comes closest wins. 

You also know you're an adult when that meatloaf gives you bad heartburn, but you totally don't regret eating it...

11-21-04 - I don't like cooked cauliflower.  Stop trying to convince me that your cauliflower will be better than any other cauliflower I've ever eaten.  Unless the main ingredient in your cauliflower recipe is not cauliflower, but bacon, I will not like your cauliflower recipe.  I don't care how much cheese, butter, garlic, pepper, or bacon you put on it, I do not like cauliflower.  So take your cauliflowervangelism and shush.  The next time I hear someone say "But you haven't tried MY cauliflower," I'm going to scream. 

I subscribe to four magazines.  Martha Stewart Living, Entertainment Weekly, Good Housekeeping, and Redbook.  I am so behind that I'm going to bed early tonight to spend an hour to catch up on my magazines.  Thankfully the three domestic magazines only come monthly.  I noticed one of the articles in October's Good Housekeeping was entitled "4 ways to be more decisive."  I couldn't decide which one to read. 

11-19-04 part two - Ladies, ladies, ladies.  I'm talking to the hoverers.  You know who you are.  Those of you whose thighs are strong enough to hover in a bizarre yoga/meditation pose over a toilet seat while you take care of business.  Please, please stop.  The keyboard you use every day at work has more germs than the average public toilet seat.  You have more of a chance of catching a disease if someone sneezes in the stall next to you and you, out of breath from the exertion of hovering, suck in their snotty air.  You have much, much more of a chance opening the door after washing your hands than you do just plopping yourself down on the comfy, ergonomic toilet seat. You're not protecting yourself from disease, you're spreading golden droplets of disgust all over the place.  So, in effect, if you didn't hover, there would be no need to hover.  Please stop.

11-19-04 - Oh no they di'int.  Several Sirius channels come with our Dish network subscription.  When I'm doing my daily housecleaning, I generally listen to the 80's channel, but yesterday, I was a rogue and listened to a combination of the Top 40 channel and the Spirit (Christian) channel.  I noticed that within an hour, the Top 40 channel played the same song twice.  As I was going to change the Top 40 station to the Spirit station, what came on but "Baby Got Back" by Sir Mixalot himself.  Well, having back myself, I had to get my groove on to that song.  I'm glad I have curtains now.

Some "Baby Got Back" and Spiehler family trivia:  My husband can sing all of "Baby Got Back" under extreme pressure, but if you ask him to sing "Silent Night" without the hymnal in front of him, he freezes.  Where are his priorities? 

How does one get a super famous blog or website which only details the everyday banalities of one's life?  I've been reading dooce's website for the past week or so.  Now, she's very, very funny and takes wonderful pictures, and has a gorgeous family, but all she writes about is her daily life.  I've spent a lot of time reading her archives, which are funny, but she has serious fans.  Fans that spend every single morning clamoring over themselves to be the first to post about her picture of the day.  I don't get it.  Every once in a while, when my house is immaculate and I have nothing else to do, I'll blog surf and post comments wherever my random commenter lies, but I can't imagine finding someone talking about their everyday life and wanting desperately to read it every day.  Though I'll keep reading dooce because she's funny.  And she has a gorgeous family.  And she takes pretty pictures.  Okay, yeah, I get it.

11-17-04 - A few things I love about Mississippi:

1. My house.  My 3-bedroom, 2-bathroom, 1825 square foot house with a great big backyard, nice neighborhood, and good schools, was more than 4 times less than a smaller house with fewer bedrooms in a less nice area in El Segundo.  And my house is super nice and brand new too.

2. The weather.  Oh, it's nice to say you love Southern weather in the middle of November when it's crisp yet sunny outside, but I love the thunderstorms, the hurricane threats, the 100 degrees in the shade with literally hair-raising humidity.  I love it. 

3. Prices prices prices.  A dozen cage-free eggs for $1.78.  An eyebrow wax at a high-class salon for $15.  A movie ticket (at NIGHT, no less) for $7.  Gas for $1.50.  Ahhhhhhh.

4. Slower fashion trends.  It's nice to know that the stuff I have in my closet is going to slowly become haute couture again within the next 2 years (except that most of it's already falling off me, thanks, Dr. Atkins).  I'll never get the hairstyles around here though. 

A few things I hate about Mississippi:

1. Go.  If I come to a 4-way stop sign and you were there first, and I can't say this loud enough, GO!!!!!!  It is in no way courteous to wait for me to wave you ahead.  If I get to a stop sign after you, come to a complete stop, and you still haven't gone, I'm going to assume you are examining a booger and I'm going to go.  See, I won't cause a traffic jam.  You will.

2. WalMart.  Darn you for sucking me into your culture of lower-prices and little yellow happy faces.  Darn you for making me appreciate the ability to buy all-natural peanut butter, a hammer, and a yard of cloth in the same store.  And darn the fact that its.  All.  So.  Cheap. 

Now scram.  Smallville's coming on.  Oh, and I love that prime time starts at 7 here.  I don't have to stay up very very late to watch my favorite shows.

11-15-04 - Guidelines for sweeping when burdened - I mean blessed - by a new kitten:

1. Lock kitten in closet.

2. Try to whistle over the plaintive wails.

3. Ignore "if looks could kill" looks from 3 other cats while simultaneously sweeping and whistling.

Since I can't seem to do that, my actual guidelines are now:

1. Begin sweeping.

2. Look around in horror for dust pan as kitten starts stalking dust pile.

3. Finally find dust pan just as kitten has vanquished dirt pile.

4. Wave broom at kitten/yell at kitten/push kitten with broom and watch with a mixture of slight amusement but pronounced annoyance because as goes kitten, so goes dust pile.

5. Learn from mistakes and vow to do first set of guidelines next time.

I've started a new list of things my mother-in-law has given us that I totally appreciate but can't seem to muster up enough Prozac to be excited about.  (See cow plates.)  The latest thing on the list is a set of gold utensils.  That's right, gold utensils.  Gold.  As in a wedding ring, a ghetto-tastic tooth. and that Dutch guy from Austin Powers.  New Friend Emily came by after work and saw the new utensils and asked "What do you do with those?" to which I replied "Become a pimp and hold a dinner party."

Make sure you check out all of our pictures from Solvang and Fernley, because they're going away soon, to be replaced by pictures of the new kitten, my sister's wedding, our friends, my family (since I don't have enough pictures of my family up...), our house, and other stupid things you probably don't care about unless you're Cousin Veronica and are trying desperately to avoid homework.  And there's a whole slew of new rants up too.  Go check 'em out. 

11-14-04 - There have been lots of birthdays since I last updated.  Lemme shout out the birthdays before I continue.  Happy birthday Megan, Emily, Taylor, Danielle, and Uncle Walter (that's chronological order).  I think there are other cousins I'm forgetting, but I sure have a lot of cousins.  My sweet little goddaughter turned 5!  I can't BELIEVE you're five, Megan, but I do believe you're cute. 

More updates soon.  Promise.