Star Publishing Co.
San Juan, Puerto Rico
Published in 1955

"Not all in military life is being tiredness, weariness, deprivation and "yanking ones collar". Another author said «happiness is the inheritance of the military», I want to cover the happiness and joy of our men in the service, the jokes, the stories, that serves so much to raise the moral of a military organization. These are stories, jokes, antidotes and adventures that our young men, pass by word of mouth (sometimes, enlarging and exaggerating them)  due to the forgetfulness one develops with age.

"This book does not cover the historic account of the exploit of our troops. That is the serious work of Military Historians. That is major history. But; as somebody once said, minor history is to major history, as appetizers are to a banquet. The episodes, the jokes and happy incidents are not bad between «plates with great subsidence and food which is contains in the scientific nutrition of war, all which is very difficult to digest». And these «appetizers» are what I desire to collect in this «cosas de soldados» (things of soldiers).

"Now, having explained (I believe) the objective of this new book in the series «cosas de soldados» all that is left is to snap to attention, making a right hand salute, and «report» with  «At your orders, men!... »

This is a story of a soldier from the country, given the name of Alcornoque, by his sergeant. The story starts, relating that as a recruit, one hot summer day, returning to his tent, with a large bag of equipment over his shoulders, held with his right hand, his rifle is held in his left, and an unlit cigarette hanging from his mouth. A brand new 2nd Lieutenant, is stopped by the recruit\, and is asked to light his cigarette. The Lieutenant goes ballistic, and pointing to his bars, ask the soldier, if he by any chance had some similar bars. The recruit answered that he did not know, and if he did, they were probably in the bottom of his bag, and to be honest, he has been so busy that he had not had a chance to find out what was in the bag.

During the Second World War, the artillery battalion was sent to Panama to guard the Panama Canal. Another incident deals with the fact, that he proved unfit for handling the cannons, cooking in the kitchen, working on the phones, he was finally assigned to the motor pool, where he learned to clean and wash the vehicles. 

One day, after the battalion had spent some time, participating in "War Games", the commanding general ordered an inspection for the following day. Alcornoque spent the night, washing the mud off his vehicle, and was able to get some paint, to cover up the scuff marks, and making it the shiniest vehicle in the battalion. During the inspection, the drivers of each vehicle had to stand next to his vehicle, and as the inspecting officer approached, snap to attention and yell, "Ready for inspection, Sir". Well, that day, the driver of  Alcornoque's vehicle was sick, and private Alcornoque took his place. When the general reached the privates position, Alcornoque yelled in Spanish, "¡El private Pedro Alcornoque, númer de serie 11-897-977, preparo para la inspeción, Señor!" The general did not understand a word, and turned to the Puerto Rican officer, and asked what that soldier has said. The Puerto Rican officer, embarrassed, told the general that the soldier had presented himself in Spanish. The general turned to the soldier and asked him, "Son, why don't you report in English?". This was translated for the soldier, and he answered, in Spanish, "¿Sabe usted, siñor, de donde soy?... Pues del campo más alto de Puerto Rico, y nunca he dio a la escuela." (Do you know where I am from? I am from the highest hill in Puerto Rico, and I have never been to school)

- - - "¿Y que quieres decir con esto?" (what do you mean by that) asked the Spanish speaking officer.

- - - "Pues que soy muy bruto pa saber ingles... Pero ¿por que ese siñor de la estrellita ésa, que ha dio a la universidá, al colegio y corrio to el mundo, no preguta en español?" (Because I am too dumb to know English...Why doesn't that man with the star, who has attend a university, gone to school, and has traveled all over the world, doesn't ask me in Spanish?)

The Puerto Rican commander translated what Alcornoque said to the General, and he smiled and said, "Too smart, my boy, too smart!" He then congratulated him for his shiny vehicle and awarded him the rank of private first class.

Another episode, concerned the fact that PFC Alcornoque, joined the company's boxing team, because this kept him off a lot of duty list. He was able to knock out the first couple of fighters he faced, at the beginning of the Battalion championship. He was then  able to face Dick Powell, the battalion champion. In the ring, the first round was one in which they checked each other out. The second round was different, and after a couple of powerful punches by Powell, and a left upper cut, Alcornoque went down. The knock out was so complete that Alcornoque went for the complete count, and was still out. They had to carry him from the ring, put him in a truck, and take him to Gorgas Hospital. He awoke on the way to the hospital, and exclaimed. "Boy what a strong man. He hit me so hard, that he sent me into the air, and am still floating and have still not fallen back to the ground."