Author: Shannon Rowley
Rating: PG
Legal Stuff: The Real Ghostbuster's don't belong to me. So, please
don't sue me.
Summery: A tag to Lost and Foundry.
 

Yesterday's attack by the Class 6 ghost from the UR Steel company had done a significant amount of damage to Ecto-1 and to our headquarters. Ecto-1 had several nail holes in its side and our headquarters had a good sized hole in the garage floor and a broken window in the third floor hall way from where the fire pole broke free and escaped.

Ray and Winston brought Ecto-1 to the local body shop to get the holes repaired and have it checked for any other damages while Peter and I stayed behind at headquarters to oversee the repairs being done in the garage and the replacement of the broken window.

Within three hours the new pole was installed and the new window was framed upstairs. We gave Janine and ourselves the day off and set the answering machine for any business calls. When our personal phone rang, I rushed to answer it assuming it would be either Ray or Winston with news of Ecto-1. I was correct.

"When will the car be ready?" I asked.

"Soon," Winston said. "On our way back, Ray wants to stop by the bookstore, so we probably won't be home for another couple hours. We'll pick up pizza for dinner on the way, too."

"That sounds good, Winston."

"Is the new pole and window in yet?"

"Yes. The gentlemen from the steel mill are putting their equipment away now and the men who replaced the window left ten minutes ago."

"Good. Ecto's just going to need the holes fixed and some paint. There wasn't any other damage. How's Pete doing?"

"He appears to be fine, although, I know he is not." Yesterday had been a trying day for Peter. First he was nearly hit by the particle beam from one of the throwers Slimer was playing with, then he was spun around by the possessed pole, here, before it separated from the floor and crashed through the window, and then he was almost crushed by the steel debris assembled ghost at the salvage yard.

"Are you going to talk to him?"

"Yes, Winston. I have merely been waiting for the appropriate time. Once the workers have left, there will be no one here but the two of us."

"All right. We'll see you guys in a couple hours."

"Good -bye, Winston." I hung up the phone and let out a sigh. I had no idea what I was going to say to Peter. I knew what was bothering him, but I didn't know why it was bothering him. This was not the first time Slimer
has caused an accident or Peter has been under direct attack by a ghost. There was only one way to find out. As soon as the steel mill gentlemen left I secured and locked the garage doors. I did not have to worry about
Ray and Winston. They had a key. I shut off the extra lights, leaving one on where Ecto-1 was usually parked and turned on the light that sat on Janine's desk and proceeded up the stairs.

When I reached the second floor, the table light by the couch was on, and the kitchen light was on, but Peter was no where to be seen. I went to the third floor. I checked the bunk room and could not find him, then I
checked the bathroom. He was not in there either. The only place left was the lab. I opened the doors. The lights were off. I turned them on. Peter was not in the lab. Then where could he--The roof! I turned,
looking down the hall and saw the door leading to the roof was cracked open and the stairs light was on.

When I got to the roof I saw Peter sitting in one of the patio chairs. I put my hands in my pockets and quietly walked over to him. When I got beside him, I stopped. He did not look at me, but I looked at him. His
eyes were closed but his lips were drawn in a tight line and his hands were clenched into fists, signifying to me, he was indeed awake. "Peter--"

"What do you want, Egon?" His words were cold.

"The gentlemen from the steel mill finished installing the pole and have left." I saw his hands clench even tighter. I plunged on. "Winston said he and Ray should be home in a couple of hours. Ray want's to stop at the book store on the way back, and Winston said they would bring pizza back for dinner."

"That's nice. Now if there is nothing else, I'd like to enjoy the sunset by myself."

I was taken back by how disdainful he sounded. However. I did not allow it to deter me. I smiled and kept my tone light. "You can hardly enjoy the sunset with your eyes closed, Peter."

"I'm approaching it as I do my life. Unexamined."

His statement hit me like a ton of bricks. I shook my head in disbelief. "Peter...I-"

He opened his eyes and turned his head, glaring at me. "What, Egon? What?"

I stood there for a moment, my mouth hanging open. Finally, I managed to speak. "Peter, I was only joking. Surely you must know that. I would never say anything that I thought would hurt you on purpose."

"Yeah? Well, it did, Egon. And you know what? The worst part of it was that at that moment I really could have used someone to lean on. In case you have forgotten I nearly had my head blown off that afternoon! But did anyone bother to ask if I was all right? Noooo. Instead you all defended Slimer. Slimer! He's a goddamned ghost! Aside from frying him a little, no real damage can be done to him had someone accidentally fired a proton stream at him! You can't even kill him! You just held me back! No: Oh,
gee, Peter, are you all right? He didn't get you did he? Nothing! I could have been killed, Egon! And then, later with the pole. Why the hell would you think I was fooling around?! And why the hell did you leave me
there, spinning, until the damned thing broke loose and sent me flying through the air to land on the pipes across the ceiling!" Peter's voice was threatening to break. "Do you take everything I do as a joke?! That
all I do is fool around?! I can't take things seriously?! Oh, no, wait! I lead an unexamined life. I don't matter. That must be it. That must be the reason. Right, Egon?!" With that, he stood, abruptly and stormed
through the door and down the stairs.

Egon Spengler, sometimes you can be a real insensitive jerk. I shook my head. I had no idea Peter was hurting this badly. I had no idea he even heard me speaking to Winston. It was only a joke. Of course I knew Peter didn't lead an unexamined life. He led anything but an unexamined one. He had to know I knew that. No. It was not my flippancy that had hurt him, or nearly being hit by a particle stream, or being spun around on a possessed pole. It was not being taken seriously. He felt like he didn't matter to us...which was not true. Peter means a great deal to us. To me. I had to make sure he knew that.

After checking the bunk room, bathroom and lab, I made my way down to the second floor. I saw Peter sitting on the couch, watching the TV. When I sat down next to him, he did not acknowledge my presence. I sat back on the couch, pressing my shoulder to his. "You do matter to us, Peter." He didn't look at me. I nudged his shoulder with mine. "You matter to me." That got his attention.

He looked at me with skeptical eyes. "Is that so?" His voice still held anger, although, it was no where near as much as he had when we were on the roof. "You know, Egon...When I was a kid, there was one man I could always look up to. He made me feel like the world revolved around me. Like I really mattered to him. There wasn't anything I could say or do to drive him away." He paused, allowing a bitter smile to creep across his face.

"Of course, we all know that changed. Especially when he started missing Christmas's. Or the time I had to have my tonsils out. He didn't even send a card to cheer me up or stop by to see how I was doing. I was
hurting, and was betrayed by someone my life revolved around. I didn't get close to anyone else because I was afraid to feel that betrayal again. Why get close to someone, if you know you mean nothing to them? Then I met you and Ray in college and later Winston and I allowed myself to feel like I meant something to someone again. Especially you. Sure, Ray and Winston have always been there for me, but over the years, you've become more and more like a brother to me, than anyone. And, at times, you have been a
father to me when I needed one. You've always been on the mark, always been there for me.....Except this last time. And you didn't so much as ask me if I was all right. Then you say I lead an unexamined life! And there was that betrayed feeling all over again!"

My heart swelled with affection from Peter's words, but was quickly crushed as I realized how much I had unwittingly hurt him. I reached over and wrapped my arms around him, trying to pull him into my embrace. He resisted. "Peter...please.." My voice was a shallow whisper. "I'm sorry. I'm so sorry. I-It was not the first time you have had a close call with Slimer and a dangerous device. When the smoke cleared and we saw you standing, ready to -in a sense- kill Slimer, we knew you were all right. You were not acting as if you were hurt physically...or emotionally. You were acting as you always have and we -I- simply did not think--I'm sorry, Peter. As for leading an unexamined life...Peter, I think I above anyone else, sometimes including yourself, know just how untrue that is. I was simply making a joke. I had absolutely no intention of hurting you. You mean a great deal to me, Peter. A great deal. You *do* matter. I just--Sometimes I think I forget to say it when it really counts."

Peter suddenly let himself fall into my arms. He heaved a deep sigh. "I know that Egon. It's just...after what happened yesterday, and then hearing *that* from you, even though it was a joke...It really hurt, Egon."

"I am truly sorry, Peter." I felt a burning in my eyes and throat, but continued. "And I am honored and humbled by the way you feel about me. I just hope you know that I feel the same way towards you. You have always been there when I needed you, too. As a brother and when I have needed one...as a father. There are many things that I simply would not have the courage to do or say without knowing you were there for me, giving me all your support. Knowing that my words and actions matter to you. Just as yours do to me.

Peter's arms went around me in a fierce hug, that I quickly returned.

"You know something else we tend to not say to each other when it really counts, Egon?"

I shook my head. "No, Peter. What's that?"

He squeezed me again. "I love you."

I felt the burning in my eyes again and tears trail down my cheeks. "I love you too, Peter."

I heard him chuckle as he squeezed me one last time, before pulling back. He looked at me and smiled. I smiled back.

"So, are we once again on good terms, Dr. Venkman?"

"We are, Dr. Spengler."

We heard the garage doors open down below and the sound of Ecto-1's engine echo up the stairs.

"And just in time. I hope Ray and Winston remembered the pineapple," Peter said, clapping me on the shoulder.

The smile I had been wearing quickly turned into a frown of disgust. "Peter, that is the single most disgusting topping anyone could place on a pizza, or anything else for that matter." I said as we stood and headed for
the stairs.

"No. Mushrooms and black olives, Egon. Yuck!"

"I beg to differ...."