Anniversary Party II: Don't you know we NEVER leave?
Non-canon characters and non-shippers: *dissappear*
XX: Yay! A sequel!
Spidey: W00t! Happy Thanksgiving, everybody!
lilli: Don't be silly, Spidey, it's not Thanksgiving.
Draco: Thanksgiving?
XX: Of course it is. In a few posts it'll most likely be Christmas, however.
Spidey: No! Christmas means leaving soon.
Tess: Tsk, just because the invitation told us to leave by New Year's doesn't mean that we actually will. I, for one, am planning on permanently moving in here. No school!
Draco: Thanksgiving?
Nikita: He doesn't know what Thanksgiving is?
Shalei: Well, we're not ALL American, you know.
Spidey: Thanksgiving originally had some sort of warm and fuzzy meaning, but nowadays, it's a chance to eat and eat and eat and eat and eat. And we don't have school on Thanksgiving, w00t!
Ginny: And when does Thanksgiving actually take place?
Depth: Real time or fandom time?
Ginny: Both.
Tess: In real time, in about two weeks.
Depth: In fandom time, it starts today!
Draco: WTF?!?!
XX: 
Ginny:
lilli: You know, this sequel is a perfect time to start our mass marketing scheme...
Brendan Finnegan: Indeed . . .
Spidey: Gah . . . I said "Non-canon characters and non-shippers: *dissappear*!" That means YOU, Brendan Finnegan!
XX: And Pedro Martinez. Unfortunately. I enjoyed mocking him. *laughs evil Yankee fangirl laugh*
Depth: I thought he bit the dust.
XX: Oh. Right. Spidey ripped his head off.
lilli: WHY DOES EVERYONE HATE MY BEAUTIFUL BEASTLY SOCK?
Depth and XX: *giggle*
Hayden and Tristy: *to Spidey* What about US?
Tess: No, no, you're different. You are, respectively, a PHB and a PHB's love interest. *huggles babies*
Brendan Finnegan: Well, I'm Danica's love interest!
XX: Have a heart, Spidey! *waves Brendan/Danica flag*
Nikita: I still say Theo is meant for Danica . . .
XX: That's just an excuse for you to snog him . . .
Theo: But I'm Hermione's other man!
Hermione: *facepalm*
Ron: You SCARLET WOMAN!
Ron's Ears: *turn scarlet*
Canon!Ron Fans: *happysigh*
Dorian: *sniff*
Natalie: There, there.
Draco: Oh, for god's sake, I've had enough of Granger and the Weasel's angst.
Ron and Hermione: *glare*
Draco: Why, oh, why did I marry a Weasley?
F&I-ers: OMGHEDIDNOTJUSTSAYTHATOMG!
Deep Voice: Last time on the S.S. Fire and Ice (Draco/Ginny) Anniversary Party II...
Ginny: DRACO, THE TIME BOMB! IT'LL GO OFF IN TEN SECONDS!
Draco: Yellow wire?! Green wire?! Red wire?! *in pained, tortured hero voice* WHICH WIIIIIIRE?!?!?!
Hayden: Tristy, I know we've been together for a while now, and I've always said I love you...
Tristy: *tear*
Hayden: But... There's something I have to tell you. I'm in love with someone else.
Tristy: *gasp*
Hermione: But Ron, you don't understand! It's not your baby!
Ron: 
Hermione: It's...
Harry: I'M SICK OF EVERYONE STEALING MY CAPS LOCK! I'M GONNA DO IT! I'M GONNA DO IT!
XX: HARRY, DON'T DO IT! I FANGIRL YOU, HARRY! I FANGIRL YOU! DON'T JUMP OFF THE CLIFF!
Harry: HERE I GO! *begins to fall*
XX: NOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!
Deep Voice: And now... For the exciting conclusion!
Everyone: *looks around* ...Wtf?
Spidey: *shakes her head to get rid of the confusion* Anyway...
F&Iers: Yeah, anyway... As we were saying... OMGHEDIDNOTJUSTSAYTHATOMG!
Draco: *gets into karate stance* What're you gonna do about it, huh?
F&Iers: *pull out nunchucks*
Depth: WAIT! No! We can't do this! It's Thanksgiving, people! My goodness! I propose we start things off by going around the circle...
XX: What circle?...
Depth: ...and having everyone name one thing that they're thankful for. I'll begin. I'm thankful for meeting all of my fellow F&Iers, because I loff them with all my heart!
F&Iers: Awww!!!
Depth: Okay, lilli, you go next.
lilli: I'm thankful for my wonderful sister.
F&Iers: Aww! How sweet!
lilli: Oh, and I'm thankful that the Red Sox won the World Series this year!
XX: *eye twitch*
Depth: Now, Spidey, it's your turn.
Spidey: I'm thankful that I was able to start the RR sequel, because it's such a great honor!
F&Iers: True dat, yo.
Draco: Wow, I'm surprised. For these guys, things have been relatively normal for the past few minutes or so...
Depth: Okay, XX, your turn.
XX: I'm thankful that, um, er...
Depth: XX, keep it normal, please...
XX: *eye twitch* Yankees... Red Sox... *eye twitch*
Depth: XX... C'mon, girl... Don't think about baseball... You can do this...
XX: I-- I-- I CAN'T BELIEVE THE FREAKIN' RED SOX FREAKIN' BEAT THE YANKEES AND WON THE FREAKIN' WORLD SERIES AGAINST THOSE STUPID FREAKIN' CARDINALS!!! AND I CAN'T BELIEVE I'M A FREAKIN' SQUIB! MY PARENTS LIED TO ME MY ENTIRE LIFE! AND OH MY GOSH, GEOMETRY! GEOMETRY SUCKS! I WANT TO TEAR IT INTO TINY LITTLE PIECES! AND DON'T EVEN GET ME STARTED ON THE HOME SHOPPING NETWORK-- *is gagged*
Shalei: Sorry, XX, but I had to shut you up somehow.
Draco: *facepalm* I knew I'd jinxed it...
Depth: Well, Draco, this is more normal than, say, non-D/G shippers floating down on parachutes.
Draco: That's true.
Depth: OMG, squee! He talked to me without insulting me! I KNEW YOU LOVED ME, DRACO! *latches onto Draco's arm*
Draco: *sob* I thought this was over with...
Depth: *skips in circles with Draco*
Draco: I didn't want to be fangirled just much, maybe just some longing stares
Fangirls: We can do that *drool and check out his ass*
Ginny: Okay, I invited you into my house, I was polite and nice, but this is MY Draco, my own!
Depth and lilli: Ooooh she is going into Gollum mode *squee*
Draco: I'm telling you they are [stage whisper] insane [/stage whisper]
Spidey: Why thank you, we work really hard at it
Shippers: *preen*
Draco and Ginny: *back away slowly*
XX: *is ungagged* AND HE WAS SELLING FRIGGIN' SOX MERCHENDICE AND HE WAS SO UG--
lilli: Wait, I'll buy Johnny Damon and solve all your problems XX, it will be okay!
XX: *deep breathing* Okay.....
Spidey: Okay I'm confused is it almost Christmas, or is it Thanksgiving?
Bunny: Hiii!!!
Draco: Great. Yet another random... ::struggles with self:: person in my house...
Shalei: Oh no, quick! Gag her before she starts rambling on about Harry/Luna!
Harry: ::whimpers:: Not another fan girl...
XX: ::glare:: Red Sox fan...
Bunny: ::holds out olive branch:: Umm.... Pedro looks weird?
lilli: ::grabs olive branch and snap it:: Oh no, that won't be necessary. XX understands!
XX: ::mumbles incoherent gibberish::
Meanwhile... Nikita is sneaking up behind Bunny, preparing to gag her.
Bunny: Well if you- ::Nikita strikes:: Mmmph mmmph mmmph!
Spidey: ::forgets about the Christmas vs. Thanksgiving situation for a moment:: Oooh a hostage!
Ginny: Errr....
Depth: It's okay, she's harmless.
Harry: Nooo! Keep her tied up! ::starts to twitch::
XX: Muahahaha!
Spidey: Okay I'm confused is it almost Christmas, or is it Thanksgiving?
Sidiqa: Does this answer your question?... *waves her arm to her left*
To Sidiqa's Left: *is Willy Wonka's factory*
Willy Wonka: *singing* Iiiif you want to viiiew paradiiise... Simply look arooound and viiiiew iiiit...
Sidiqa: Oh, whoops, wrong side. Does this answer your question?... *waves her arm to her right, out the window*
Out the Window: *snow begins to fall*
Spidey: Actually, no, it doesn't...
Tess: OH MY GOSH! SNOW!
Nikita: Snow? In early, early November? Isn't that a little weird, even for England?...
Tess: OH MY GOSH! SNOW!
Out the Window: *snow has suddenly covered the ground, a foot deep*
Fey: It's already a foot deep, after snowing lightly for like three minutes?...
Tess: OH MY GOSH! SNOW!
F&Iers: *run outside*
Draco: YESSS! *locks the door*
XX: YOU GUYS, LET'S HAVE A SNOW FIGHT!
lilli: How will we pick teams?
XX: Yankees fans against Red Sox fans *cough losers cough*! Republicans against Democrats *cough losers cough*!
Natalie: EVERY MAN FOR HIMSELF!
Ashlee: Yes! w00t!
XX: EAT THIS, RED SOX FAN! *throws a snowball at lilli*
Snowball: *misses by a mile*
lilli: You call that throwing a snowball?! Who'd you take lessons from?! KEVIN BROWN?!?! *laughs*
Kevin Brown: HEY! *sniff* *walks away dejectedly*
lilli: Eat THIS, Yankees fan! *throws a snowball at XX*
Snowball #2: *sails through the window in Draco and Ginny's living room*
Draco: HEY!!!
lilli: Heh, whoops. ^_^;
Spidey: Wow, I had no idea you guys sucked so badly at pitching. And you're baseball fans! I'm not a huge fan at all, hah. *tosses a snowball carelessly at the wall and lands it in the dead center*
Shalei: Whoa...
Draco: *walks out the door*
Sub: Oh, dang, we made him mad...
Diana: *hopefully* Did you bring Snape with you?
XX: Or Caius? Um, I mean...
Depth: HA! You still have feelings for Caius! Mr. Doorbell is miiine, I tell you...
Draco: WHO THREW THAT SNOWBALL?!
F&Iers: *point at lilli*
lilli: Ugh, thanks, you guys, for ratting me out!
Draco: LILLI... *advances on lilli*
lilli: *wibble*
Draco: Good aim! *pats lilli on the back* Hit Potter straight in the nose!
Harry: *walks out the door with broken glasses*
XX: Aww, my poor baby! Did that stupid Red Sox fan hurt you?!
lilli: I'm not stupid! You're the stupid one!
Depth: PEACE, EVERYONE! PEACE!
Tess: EVERYONE, LOOK!
Everyone: *turns to look at Tess*
Tess: Look! *points to what she just finished working on*
XX: Oh my gosh! It's... It's beautiful! *sniff*
lilli: All of my angry feelings have subsided!
Bunny: You rock, Tess!
XX: A scene made of snow of Hayden and Tristy kissing! *sniff* It's soooo beautiful! *waves S.S. Deny Thy Father flag*
Everything: *is peaceful*
Snowball #3 (or #4, technically): *flies through the air and hits Draco in the back of the head*
Ron: HA!
Draco: *eye twitch*
Draco: *turns in a slow, threatening manner*
Dorian: OMGIAMINSOMUCHTROUBLE! *begins to fake huge, dramatic sobs over Tess's snow scene of Hayden and Tristy* Aww, my best friends . . . How precious . . . *sniff* The only thing I want out of life is to see them be married and be the godfather of their fifty kids . . . *sniff*
XX: *waves Deny Thy Father flag* Awww . . . *sniffle*
Hayden and Tristy: *blush*
Fred: That's -
George: Our boy.
Fred: Our nephew -
George: Learned from the best.
Hermione: *sob* My child's been corrupted. Where, oh, where did I go wrong? Did I not read him Hogwarts, A History enough times?
Fred and George: *smug grins*
Harry and Cedric: *look closely at snow scene* OMGMYPOORPOOREYES!
Ron: *comfortingly* I felt the same way the first time I saw Ginny snog Malfoy.
Arthur: *nods*
Draco: *facepalm* What are you doing here?
Spidey: Wait a second . . . Arthur wasn't here last thread.
Bunny: No duh. Even I knew that and I wasn't here before. *facepalm*
Danica: *to Ron* You think that's bad? Helloooo? We *points to herself and siblings (i.e., Hayden, Caius, Damien, and little Molly and Adrienne)* are here. Doesn't that mean anything to you?
Ron and Arthur: *chant* Transfigured from rock, transfigured from rock, transfigured from rock . . .
XX: *helpfully* Want a spork?
Depth: NO MORE VIOLENCE!
XX: *in an undertone* Psht. Sporks are a necessity. Especially when the FREAKIN' HOME SHOPPING NETWORK SHOWS FREAKIN' JOHNNY DAMON SELLING FREAKIN' RED SOX MERCHANDISE! Gah . . .
lilli:
Draco: *eyes pop out* Were they really?
Ron: Oh, for god's sake, Malfoy . . .
Ron: *Throws another snowball at Malfoy* Ahahaha
Draco: Grrr!! *Chucks a snowball at Ron*
Ron and Harry: *Double up with laughter* OMG, MALFOY THROWS LIKE A GIRL!! *cackles*
Draco: *Turning red* I MOST CERTAINLY DO NOT!! *Lets out a war cry and starts randomly throwing snowball as hard as he can*
Snowballs: *flies through the air, randomly hitting shippers in the face*
Draco: *Looks at the scene around him*
Shippers: *Look murderous*
Draco: Uh oh *starts to back away*
Bunny: SHIPPERS, TAKE AIM AND FIRE!
F&Iers: *get ready to fire*
Depth: NO! Wait! Hold fire!
XX: *rolls eyes* Oh, c'mon, Depth! Please don't start ranting about peace! Just this once, let us be violent!
Depth: *looks hurt* I wasn't going to say that... I was just going to show you guys this! *pulls the sheet off of a snowball-pelting machine that has seemingly appeared out of nowhere*
Draco: Uh oh... *runs around wildly, screaming like a girl at the top of his lungs*
F&Iers: Whoooa...
Depth: Everyone! Load your snowballs into here!
F&Iers: *load their snowballs into the machine*
Draco: *continues to run around wildly, screaming like a girl at the top of his lungs*
Depth: NOW... Ready... Aim... Fire...
F&Iers: ...AND ICE!!!
Snowball-Pelting Machine: *pelts many, many snowballs at Draco at top speeds*
Draco: *continues to run around wildly, screaming like a girl at the top of his lungs while getting murderously pelted by snowballs*
XX: Wow, Depth! Who would of thought?
Nikita: ::giggling at Draco:: He's so silly.
Ron and Harry: ::dying out of laughter::
Bunny: HAHA DRACO! ::sings:: WE'LLL MAKE A MANNNN OUT OF YOOOOOOOOUUUUU!
Spidey: That's just wrong...
Depth: Stop singing disney songs! This is war!
::suddenly Ginny appears just over the rise of a random hill that appeared above the shippers::
Ginny: I admit, Draco can be a complete prat sometimes, he's stubborn beyond belief, spends more time on his hair more than I do-
Draco: (who has been lying on the ground, whimpering, making feeble attempts to roll away from the eternal shower of snowball) ::looks up:: HEY! ::goes back to whimpering::
Ginny: BUT! Nobody does that to my husband! (Unless it's me of course....) ::huge mechanical sound::
Nikita: Umm..... What's that noise?
Suddenly, Ginny starts to move closer.... and the Shippers see that she is riding a snow-ball launching tank!
Spidey: HEY! Why do you have that?! You're a wizard! How do you have a tank? HUH? HUH?
Arthur: ::mischievous grin::
Depth: Hehe... Can I start talking about peace now, XX?
Spidey: Why does she get a tank and not me? Why? WHY? DOES THE WORLD HATE ME?!?!?!
Tess: You're starting to sound like Harry, Spidey...
Spidey: *sobs* I just want a *sob* tank! Is that too much to *sob* ask for?
XX: You're writing this post. Just give yourself a tank.
Spidey: But if I had the tank, then I wouldn't have anything to complain about.
Fey:
Draco: We're sure you can find something. Now is the perfect time to RUN AWAY!
Ginny: (from tank) COWARD!
Draco: You know you like it. 
Ginny: Not fair! No seducing during snowball fights!
Draco: Why don't you come over here, Ginny dearest?
Ginny: Oh, fudge. You know I can't resist you. *jumps out of tank*
Draco & Ginny: *snogsnogshagshagsnog*
Hayden: Eww, get a room. I don't want to see MY parents do this in the snow!
Shippers: Awwww! What a beautiful scene!
Hayden: Those are my parents!
Depth: That's so sexy!
Hayden: My eyes! My eyes!
Fey: Shut up, Hayden.
Tess: How dare you insult my baby?
Tess- How DARE you insult my baby! *Growls and tackles Fey*
Fey- *Fights back with incredible strength*
Draco- *Conjures up some water and tosses it ontop of the wrestling girls*
All the Boys- Whoooooo! *High fives each other*
Ginny- DRACO! *Slaps him and storms back up to the house*
Draco- Pookie!! I didn't mean to! I meant to seperate them with this handy spell, but somehow a bucket of water appeared instead and Potter pushed me, causing me to trip and accidently pour water onto those poor girls. *Runs after her*
Harry and Ron- *Snickers because Malfoy is sooo whipped*
Depth- Peace people PEACE!! *Accidently gets whacked in the face by Tess* Oh it's on now! *Jumps in the fray*
Shippers: ::keep fighting, while Harry and Ron look on in amusement::
Bunny: OMG! This is a perfect time to put my job to use!
Ron: Err... and what would that be?
bunny: The Ship Singer of Angry Emo Songs for Angsty Moments!
Nikita: ::giggle::
Shippers: ::stop fighting and stare::
Tess: For some reason I don't think this is a good idea...
Harry: ::nervously:: Um... it's not exactly angsty. It's just Malfoy being an idiot. ::is silenced by Bunny's glare::
Bunny: ::grabs random guitar lying in the snow, starts to strum:: SOOO THISS IS OOOODDDD ::voice crack::
Fey: Ahhh! She's totally defiling Dashboard!
Everyone: ::covers ears::
Bunny: ::continues to sing, terribly off key:: THE PAINFUL REALIZAAAATTTTTTIOOOOOONNNNNNNN THAT ALL HAS GONE WRONNNNGGGGG AND NOBODDDDYYYY CARRRESSSS AT ALLLLLL
Depth: Who EVER allowed her this position?
Nikita: Errr.... hehehehe.... Um... not me!
Draco and Ginny come out of the house, hand in hand.
Ginny: What is that awful noise?
Draco: I can't even think of an insult for it!
Bunny: ::sees D/G together:: DAMN YOU! YOU RUINED MY MOMENT!
Harry: Hey! My capslock!
XX: Oh great.... here we go again.
Ginny- So just curious, you guys said you would be out of here by New Years?
Draco- *Groans*
XX- Yes Madam
Draco: MADAM!?
XX- Well Jesse didn't know how to spell Mam'n (Gahhh I hate this word!! You guys know what I'm trying to say though right?), so she made me say Madam instead.
Draco- *Bangs head against the wall because he has to deal with this for two more months*
Ginny- Well Draco and I was wondering if you wanted to stay an extra day
Draco- WHAT!?
Ginny- Yes, Draco and I would love it if you came to our New Years Ball. It's going to be a Masquerade Ball, with all of our friends and why not, the more the merrier!
Shippers- *Squees because it sounds so romantic*
Ginny- Of course I realize you guys have no costume to wear or anything--
Bunny- To Diagon Alley!
Draco- *splutters* How do you know about Diagon Alley?!? You can't even see it you daft muggle!
Bunny- *Wibbles*
Depth- *With teary eyes* But how will we get our costumes *Bawls*
Shippers- *Cries along*
Bunny- Buuuuuut I'm a creeeeep.... I'm a weeeeeeirdooooo *Sobs* Whaaaaaat the heeeeeell am I doooooing heeeeeere? *Makes hideous sounds that makes all the shippers back away in fear* I doooooooon't beeeeeeelong hereeeeeeeee. *Breaks down*
Harry- Erm *awkwardly pats shoulder*
Bunny- OMG HARRY TOUCHED MY SHOULDER!! *Squee!!* *Skips off into the sunset*
Draco- *Feels like crying* An extra day with them!? *Sobs*
Tess: Aw, poor darling. Don't worry. We won't be spending only one extra day here.
Spidey: Yeah, in the thread's first post we decided to move here indefinitely.
Draco: Is that even legal?
XX: Good manners say it is.
Draco: Yes, but the Malfoy Code of Conduct says that it isn't! See!
Shippers: *read Malfoy Code of Conduct*
Malfoy Code of Conduct: Thou shalt not allow crazy shippers to stay in the Malfoy residence more days then previously defined by the Host.
Bunny: But it- it- IT INSULTED US!
Fey: We must kill it!
Depth: Pea- Aw, forget it. I want it dead just as much as any of you do.
Shippers: *attack Malfoy Code of Conduct*
Draco: NOO!
Ginny: YES!
Draco: Ginny, you traitor! You're supposed to be on MY side.
Ginny: Don't be silly, honey. Besides, we need to find all of our new friends-
Draco: They aren't MY friends.
Ginny: -costumes.
Fey: Right, aren't Malfoys rich and such?
Draco: I do not like where this is going.
Fey: So couldn't they just hire a costume maker person to come to the house and design us all extravagant, fancy, beautiful costumes?
Draco: Do you have any idea how much that would cost? There are like five billion of you!
Fey: ...So?
Spidey: Wait a moment- It's a MASQUERADE BALL!
Ginny: Yeah?
Spidey: Like in Masquerade! OMG, SQUEE!!!!!
Shippers who have read Masquerade: OMG, SQUEE!
Draco: ... Is this supposed to mean something to us?
XX: *turns to Depth* Depth, does the word Masquerade mean anything to you?...
Depth: O-of course it does! I totally finished reading that fic weeks ago, just like you told me to! *cough*
XX: Okay, then... Do you know whom Sebastian is?
Depth: Um, uh, um... ^_^; He's... Draco's uncle's cousin's brother's mother's father's sister's aunt, twice removed?
XX: ...Whoa, you're right!
Depth: I AM?!?!
XX: NO! *body slams Depth*
Depth: *weakly* No, XX, this is a new RR! No more body slamming! No more Fight Club!
lilli: *sniff sniff* I miss Fight Club...
Sidiqa: DON'T TALK ABOUT FIGHT CLUB!!!!!
Harry: MY CAPS LOCK!
Ron: Hermione, I thought you erased his caps lock memory!
Hermione: I think all of the shippers are just driving him insane again!
XX: My poor baby!!!
Spidey: Hel-looo? Let's get back to talking about the masquerade ball that I came up with! I mean, er, Ginny came up with.
Jesse: I know what Bunny should dress up as! A BUNNY!
Bunny: *stops singing* No, no, no! You've completely forgotten where my nickname came from! My full user name is bunnyMASSACRER!
Tess: So what do you want to be, then?
Bunny: JAMES LIPTON!!!!
Depth: Yesss, time for more crazinesses and random celebrities! *pulls out a cell phone that doesn't exist because she doesn't own one* Hello? James Lipton? GET OVER HERE RIGHT NOW! WE NEED SOME CELEBRITIES HERE! *puts phone away* He'll apparate here in a minute.
XX: Did anyone see her dial a number?...
Nikita: Apparate here? James Lipton is a wizard?
Depth: Duh!
Tess: Who cares if James Lipton is a wizard or not?! He can't come here! Random celebrities and non-celebrities and non-D/G-shippers and other things like that were THE LAST RR THREAD!
Depth: Oh, c'mon! I am ME! Of course I'm going to continue with the random celebrities thing! Oh, and just wait'll we get to page three... Right, XX? *wink*
XX: Hahaaaa, right, Depth! *wink* *mumblemumble what the heck are you talking about?... mumblemumble*
James Lipton: *appears*
Fey: OH MY GOSH, JAMES LIPTON, YOU'RE...
Fey: OH MY GOSH, JAMES LIPTON, YOU'RE... ::looks at James Lipton:: Not really James Lipton?
Depth: Of course he is James Lipton? God did't you hear me say JAMES LIPTON clearly?
James Lipton: Umm.... Depth, what am I doing here?
Bunny: Wow! James Lipton! I didn't even know that was an actual person! I just said a random name!
XX: That's not really James Lipton, Bunny!!! But he seems to know Depth
Shalei: Depth.... is that your cousin, James Lipton?
Depth: ::defensively:: SO?!?!!
Nikita: You said the CELEBRITY James Lipton on your imaginary phone...
James Lipton: Well actually-
Depth: ::whacks him on the head:: Shut up twerp! And he is a... well.... actor! He's the third understudy for the extra in some shampoo commercial! ::mumbles:: He's also my cousin...
Tess: Umm... shampoo commercial? ::skeptical look at James Lipton::
Depth: You know, the ones where kids run around and sing a song about how the shampoo doesn't hurt their eyes and stuff!!!
::everyone stares at Depth::
Draco: ::clears throat:: Okay.... anyway. Good bye, Mr. Lipton!
James Lipton: Wha- ::disapears as Draco points his wand and mutters a spell::
::silence all around (everyone is still recovering)::
Bunny: Well... anyway... I WANT TO BE A PIRATE!!!!!
Nikita: Oh no... Pirate...
Draco: *eye twitch* Pirates... *eye twitch*
Depth: *gets a naughty gleam in her eyes* Well, since Draco GOT RID OF JAMES LIPTON... Who, in fact, IS a celebrity, because he's the host of Inside the Actor's Studio, as any noodnik--
XX: Noodnik? Is that even a word?
Tess: I think she spelled it wrong.
XX: Wait, but how can you spell something wrong if you're talkin--
Tess: *gags XX*
Depth: --would know! Do none of you people watch Saturday Night Live?! On SNL, they've made fun of his show a ton!
Spidey: I do! *grin*
Depth: Oh, yeah, Spidey, you used to! ^_^ You get a Snape Cookie! *hands Spidey a Snape Cookie*
XX: *through her gag* WHOA, WHOA, WHERE'D YOU GET THAT SNAPE COOKIE?! THAT'S MY THING, YOU JERK!
Everyone: *cannot understand a word XX is saying*
Depth: Anyway, so... Draco, since you got rid of my wonderful James Lipton before he even had a chance to do random, crazy, celebrity-like things, I think I'm going to bring back Captain Hook, played by the luscious Jason Isaacs, and Caption Jack Sparrow! *waves her arm and the two pirates appear*
Bunny: Oh my gosh! Real, live pirates! This is awesome!
Captain Hook: Arr, matey, what are we doing back here? Do I have to bring out my...pimp cane?
Captain Jack Sparrow: Arr, ye land lubber, me treasure, arr, arr, arrrrr, matey!
Fey: Ummm... What?
Bunny: Oh, oh, oh! Don't worry! I speak piratese!
lilli: Is that even a real language?
Spidey: Hey, this is the fandom. *shrugs*
Bunny: He said... "Honk, honk, rattle, rattle, crash, beep, beep!"
Shalei: What?!
Nikita: You're making that up! That's an old song that I used to sing in kindergarten!
Bunny: ^_^;
Fred: She's--
George: --lying!
Fred: We--
George: --know--
Fred: --what--
George: --he--
Fred: --said!
George: He said, "Beware the Almighty Shipper. She lurks in the shadows of which you know not...
Fred: ...and at Thanksgiving dinner, she will reveal herself."
XX: *rips through her gags* What does that mean?
Sidiqa: 'Tis a mystery! I love mysteries! *laughs maniacally*
Draco: *facepalm* This is nonsense!
Captain Hook: Arrr, hold your head up proudly, boy! You look poor! Where's my pimp cane?...
Jesse: We gotta get rid of these weirdos.
Diana: Fey, will you do the honors?
Fey: Of course! Oy! Sparrow! Hook! There's a pirate ship in the parking lot with its lights on! Is it yours?
Captain Hook: Oh no!
Captain Sparrow: Arr arrrrrrr arr ye scurvy savvy arrr matey ships arrrr!
Captain Hook and Captain Sparrow: *run away*
Lady Draherm: How long do you think it'll take 'em to realize that their pirate ship doesn't have lights on it?
Fey: Probably a few days.
Natalie: How long do you think it'll take us to translate what Captain Sparrow just said?
Fey: Probably never.
Depth: *sniff* You guys send away every celebrity/fictional character/has-been/anything else you can think of that I bring in here! Waaaah!!!
Ginny: Draco, do something! Our guest is distressed!
Draco: What?! What do you expect me to do, cheer her up?!
Ginny: You are the one who sent Mr. James Lipton away!
Draco: *grumblegrumble domineering wives grumblegrumble* *walks over to Depth* Um, er, sorry...
Depth: OMG, SQUEEE, HE APOLOGIZED TO MEEEEE!!!
XX: Depth, you're bordering dangerously on the line between 100% crazy fangirl and just slightly crazy Wise Old Sage!
Depth: *gasp* I cannot forget my duties as Wise Old Sage! For in the end, freedom is a personal and lonely battle.
Everyone Who Is Wise Enough to Understand (a.k.a., XX, because she's smart like that): Ahhh!
Everyone Else: ...Wtf?
Depth: And we have to start figuring out this mystery! You guys, I don't think Captain Jack Sparrow is crazy! Well, er, he is, but I don't think he was making up what he said about the Almighty Shipper, and I don't think Fred and George were lying about what he said! This is a mystery, you guys! We have to solve it!
Fey: Is the Almighty Shipper one of us?
Tess: Or is it someone who has yet to come to the party?
Depth: Hmm... I don't know...
Everyone: *ponders*
Spidey: *polishes off her Snape Cookie* *burp* I'm still hungry.
lilli: ooooh I like mysteries! They are all mysteryey. Or they can be Mr. Eee
Depth: Don't mind her. She had a little too much hot chocolate.
Spidey: Hey! Where did she get the hot chocolate?
Hot Chocolate: Here I am Spidey! I'm here to save you! *Pours itself down spideys throat*
Draco: Ah, here we go again with the inanimate objects talking.
Hot Chocolate: Hey! Who says I'm inanimate?
Bunny: Um, the dictionary?
Hot Chocolate: *Dumps itself on Draco *
Ginny: Come here Draco. I'll help you get that off *giggle*
Draco/Ginny: *dissapear to bedroom*
Mods: *glare*
XX: Ookay that was interesting. lilli you really need to be less crazy. Hot Chocolate being a person.....
Depth: We still need to find out who the Almighty Shipper is. There are many questions which fools can ask that wise men cannot answer.
Everyone who is wise enought to understand: Ahhh *sees the light*
Almighty Shipper Yoo-hoo. What about me? Shouldn't ponder about who I might be until Thanksgiving?
Everyone: Yes, we will remember you as soon as someone smart enough to figure it out posts!
Tess: Wait, the Almighty Shipper just talked? Does that mean she's already here?
Depth: No, it could've just been a mysterious voice talking. *shrugs*
Spidey: Oh, no, not more mysterious voices!!!!
lilli: But I love the mysterious voices! They're my friend! Myyy...prrrrecioussss...
Bunny: Um...
XX: Ignore her. She gets into these certain, crazy moods.
Depth: Yes, because if your mouth is wandering, your mind is soon to follow.
Everyone Who Is Crazy, Er, Wise Enough To Understand: Ahhh!!
Everyone Else: ...Wtf?
Captain Sparrow and Captain Hook: *come back*
Captain Hook: We didn't leave our lights on! Our ship doesn't have lights!
Lady Draherm: Fey, you were wrong! It didn't take them a few days to figure it out!
Fey's Number One Fan: Nooo, Fey, you were wrong?! No way! Not possible! Waaaah!!! *runs away crying*
Fey: Wait, what?! I have a number one fan?... Come baaaack!!!! *chases after her number one fan, whomever that may be*
Captain Sparrow: Rum and mateys and ships for scurvy laddy savvy arrrrrrr!!!
Tess: What the heck is he saying?!
Captain Sparrow: ARRRRRR, SHIPMATES!!! *hands Nikita a treasure map*
Nikita: ...Wtf? What's this?
Captain Sparrow: Treasure arrrr me parrot matey, poop deck!
Fred and George: *snigger* Poop deck.
Depth: Fred, George, do you know what Captain Sparrow is saying?
Fred: He--
George: --said, "This treasure map will lead you to a clue--
Fred: --which will help you along the path of finding out--
George: --who the Almighty Shipper is! And if you find out before the stroke of 8 o'clock--
Fred: --on Thanksgiving Day, then you will be rewarded with a secret treasure of your own!"
Bunny: Yay, we get to be pirates!
Jesse: We've got to start following the treasure map, you guys!
XX: We gotta get rid of these guys for good, now.
Tess: VOLDIE!!!!
Voldemort's Ice Cream Truck: *runs over Captain Sparrow and Captain Hook*
Tess: *high-fives Voldemort*
Spidey: What are we waiting for? Let's get started!
Fey: *runs back* Hey, don't forget about me!
Draco: AND ME! Ginny and I should be mentioned in all posts or else you'll be mod-thwapped!
Mods: *nod sagely*
Everyone: *looks at Ginny expectantly*
Ginny: ...What? What am I supposed to say?
Depth: That's good enough. Okay, anyway... What does the map say, Official Map-Holder?
Nikita: Yay, I get an official title now?!
lilli: *sniff* I want an official title...
Depth: You'll get one soon, young grasshopper. For every tree grown started out as a tiny seed.
lilli: OOOHHH!!!!
Harry: MY CAPS LOCK! *gets run over by an ice cream truck*
