Draco: YEEEEHAAAAA!
Ginny: *runs in looking worried* OMG! Who killed the cat!
Draco: The cat’s fine lil darlin! *is wearing tight leather pants, a flannel shirt, a cowboy hat and cowboy boots*
Ginny: *stare* Who are you and what have you done with my husband?
Draco: Very funny, but I was wonderin if you would like to accompany me to the square dance, lil lady?
Ginny: Draco, we are in the middle of magical London, there are no square dances!
Draco: That’s ok, my horse Pepper can take us anywhere we want!
Ginny: We have a horse! You hate horses!
Draco: Oh pig slop! I love me some horses!
Ginny: Draco, maybe we could take a little trip to St. Mungo’s.
Draco: Nonsense! Now you comin or not?
Ginny: Ok, ok, I’ll come!

*two hours later*
Draco: OW! Ginny! I’m dying!
Ginny: You’re not dying! You’ve just been linedancing in leather pants for two hours!
Draco: I can’t feel my legs! I’ll never be able to walk again!
Ginny: Oh, shut up you big baby!
Draco: That’s it, I’m never listening to country music EVER again! I mean flannel and leather? What was I thinking! OW!

by Nymphadora51

Ginny accidently turns Draco into a ferret ("Not again!") and can't get him back into a human. What does she do? Skits are very welcome!

Draco: Admit it, I made a sexy ferret.
Ginny: You were not a sexy ferret. Ferrets are not sexy.
Draco: Prove it.
Ginny: *pop*
Draco: (Is now ferret boy)
Ginny: See, not sexy. (Tries to transfigure him back. Doesn't work)
Draco: (Glares up at her).
Ginny: Draco...I can't turn you back!
Draco: (Bites her ankle).
Ginny: Stop! Draco, stop you could be rabid!
Draco: (Crawls up her leg and onto her shoulder, clawing at her)
Ginny: Stop! Finite Incantatem! OW! That hurts!
Draco: *pop* GINNY!
Ginny: Will you feel better if I said you were a sexy ferret?
Draco: (Stops glowering) Told you I was.

by DianaBottles

How would Ginny handle it if Draco went through a massive midlife crisis?

*Draco walks down the stairs with bald head.*
Ginny: G'morning Drac- WTFH??
Draco: Duncha like it? It's my new style.
Ginny: What happened to your head?!
Draco: Nothing. I shaved it.
Ginny: But... why? You used to fawn over it all the time!
Draco: Why not?
Ginny: And... and I liked it long...
Draco: Sorry Love, it's gone.
PHB!Boy: *comes down stairs* Mummy... who is that man in the kitchen with you?
PHB!Girl: *comes down stairs, runs back up screaming hysterically*
Ginny: *headcounter*
Draco: What, you don't recognize me, Caius?
Caius: Mummy! He's talking to me! I can't talk to strangers!!! *runs upstairs crying*
Draco: That's it. Ginny, get me my wand. I'm having hair again. Enough of this awful Muggle "midlife-crisis."
Ginny: *snogs*

by WX2Kenji

Ginny disappears after going to work one day. What does Draco do?

Draco: *tries to Floo Ginny*
Draco: GINNY!!!!!
*no response*
Draco: *mumbles nasty words*
Draco: *Floos Harry*
Draco: POTTER! WHAT DID YOU DO WITH MY WIFE!!!
Harry: What are you talking about Draco? Didn't Ginny tell you that she and Hermione were going out for dinner?
Draco: DON'T GIVE ME THAT BULL POTTER! WHAT DID YOU DO WITH HER!!!
Harry: *stares* Geez, what happened to you? She's just out to dinner. I swear, you can even come over and look... On second thought, stay there. I don't think my house would live through you pissed at me.
Draco: HOUSE?!! HA HA HA! You don't even live in a shack! *is momentarily thrown off topic*
Harry: I most certainly live in a house! I could live in a bigger flat than you do!
Draco: Flat?! What are you calling a flat! This is the Malfoy Manor!
Harry: Yeah, sure. *looks away* Oh, hi Hermione. Could you have Gin come here? Malfoy flooed and started screaming at me.
Ginny: Draco, what happened?
Draco: Umm... nothing Love... just forgot about dinner...
Harry: Forgot! That's bull. He only screamed in my face about me doing something to you. I had to insult your mansion just so that he would shut up about something I didn't do.
Draco: Sure Potter.
Ginny: Well, I think I'm gonna stay the night here darling. Harry's going away on a business trip and I'm gonna help Hermione take care of their twins. I'm sure you can feed Caius and yourself without me for one night! Love you!
Draco: POTTER!!!

by WX2Kenji

Ginny accidently turns Draco into a ferret ("Not again!") and can't get him back into a human. What does she do? Skits are very welcome!

Ginny: Transformus Ferretus Bounceous!
Draco: *becomes a ferret*
Ginny: *rolls on floor laughing*
Draco: *bounces*
Ginny: Finite Incantatum!
Draco: *still bouncing*
Ginny: Uhh... Finite Incantatum?
Draco: *same*
Ginny: Oh man! I'm sorry Draco!!! *runs and floos Harry*
Harry: Yeah Gin?
Ginny: I just transformed Draco into a ferret! And I can't change him back! You gotta come help Harry!
Harry: *snickers* Why'd you do that Gin?
Ginny: He was getting me mad and... and... *starts crying*
Harry: Don't worry Gin, 'Mione and I are coming over to help.
Ginny: ThankyouThankyouThankyou!!!!
Harry & Hermione: *floos to Malfoy Manor*
Hermione: So, what spell did you cast Ginny?
Harry: He's still bouncing Gin. I think it might be easier if you can hit your target... Hmm... Petrificus Totalus!
Draco: *stops bouncing, hits floor*
Harry: That makes it easier. Finite Incantatum!
Draco: *becomes self again*
Harry: Better Gin?
Ginny: *glomps Harry* Thank you!!!
Hermione: Good one Harry. I was trying to think of the countercurse. I didn't even consider that she was just missing. *beams at Harry*
Harry: *smiles brightly*
Draco: POTTER! What are you doing in my manor! Out, out, out!!!
Ginny: *tackles Draco, crying* I'm so sorry!
Draco: 'Sok, Gin-love. But why Potter?
Ginny: I... I... *bursts out crying, burying head in Draco's shoulder*
Harry & Hermione: *Floo home*
Draco: Hey, it's ok. *pulls Ginny into a big hug* I'm fine now. *starts bouncing*
Ginny: *giggles*
Draco: Gin...

by WX2Kenji

Ginny accidently turns Draco into a ferret ("Not again!") and can't get him back into a human. What does she do? Skits are very welcome!

Ginny: I hate you, Draco Malfoy! *waves wand randomly*
*Draco dissappears*
Ginny: I've killed him! Oh no, I've killed him! He'll never forgive me! *bursts into tears*
Draco the Ferret: *bounces*
Ginny: *not seeing him* I cannot live without my Draco! So now, I must say adieu.
Draco the Ferret: *Bounces*
*Harry and Ron enter*
Harry: Why is there a ferret bouncing in here?
Ginny: Harry, you are too late! I must now bid this cruel, cruel world goodbye. My love, my secret love, my Draco, is dead and it is my fault!
Harry: Maybe you turned him into a ferret.
Draco the Ferret: *bounces*
Ron: Love?!??!? Ginny, how could you betray our family's trust like this! You have ruined our family and so I, speaking for our parents, disown you!
Ginny: Of course I didn't turn him into a ferret! I'm not that stupid! And Ron, what are you talking about? Oh, it doesn't matter. I'm going to kill mys- Do you hear something bouncing?
Draco the Ferret: *bounces*

And that is all.

by SpiderMonkey

Ginny accidently turns Draco into a ferret ("Not again!") and can't get him back into a human. What does she do? Skits are very welcome!

Ginny: Draco, we've got to go!
Draco: I'm not going!
Ginny: What! You promised. You are not backing out of this now!
Draco: Forget it. I am NOT going to dinner with your bother and Potter. Just no way.
Ginny: *waves wand at him* Listen, buster, you have no say in this! Especially since you already said yes!
Draco: Don't wave that want at me, lady!
Ginny: Why? Afraid I might turn you into a ferret?
Draco is immidiately transfigured into a ferret. Ginny rushes over a pickes it up.
Ginny: Oh, no! What did I do? I don't have time for this. My boyfriends a ferret, and I have to go to dinner with Ron and Harry!
Ferret: *starts to squirm*
Ginny: Stop it!
Ferret: *immedietaly listens to her*
Ginny: Alright. I'm going to put you in my pocket, take you to dinner, and then fix this later.

Later at the restaurant...

Harry: It's too bad that Malfoy couldn't make it.
Ron: *snorts* Yeah, right. Stupid git. I can't believe he ditched this!
Ginny: I told you, Ron, something unexpected came up.
Ron: Yeah, right. Good excuse. Stupid git. You shouldn't be dating a loser like that!
Ferret: *jumps out of pocket, attacks Ron and bites his finger*
Ron: OUCH! What the hell is that!
Ginny: It's my new pet. I didn't want to leave him home alone.
Harry: Malfoy let you get a pet ferret? That's surprising. Especially since it looks like....that.
Ron: OH MY GOD! That is Malfoy! Malfoy is a ferret!
Ginny: *mortified* It is not!!
Ron: Yes, it is! I will never forget way Malfoy looks like a ferret. And that is him!
Harry: Ginny, did you turn your boyfriend into a ferret?
Ginny: *blushes* Yes.
Harry and Ron: *burst into laughter*
Ginny: Don't laugh! It was an accident. I didn't mean to!
Harry and Ron: *laugh harder*
Waitor: I'm sorry, Miss, but you and your ferret must exit the restaurant.
Ginny: *glares at Ron and Harry* Gladly!

Later at home, Ginny has turned the ferret back into Draco.

Draco: Was I that way for very long!
Ginny: No, not too long.
Draco: Did anyone see me?
Ginny: No. No one at all. Especially not Harry or Ron.
Draco: *narrows eyes* How come I remember biting your brother?
Ginny: Must have been...a ferret dream. That's right. A ferret dream. Because no one saw you.
Draco: A ferret dream? *shudders* Yes, that must be it.
Ginny: Yes, that is it. *leaves room quickly*

A small owl flies into the living room.

Draco: Pig? This is for me? *takes package* Why is Ron sending me a package. *opens it* Ferret treats? GINNY!!

by: Lady Draherm

Draco is introduced to country and/or western music on a trip out west, and for some reason, takes a liking to it. What is Ginny's reaction, and opinion? Does she suffer along, or does she like it too? Does Draco linedance (in leather pants?)

Draco: *is practicing linedancing, in leather pants, in living room*
Leather pants: *are shiny*
Ginny: *walks in living room* WTF?!
Draco: *sees Ginny* Howdy, young lady!
Ginny: Draco...what...the...HELL...
Draco: What do you think of my new pants, sweet cheeks? I reckon I've got a swingin' new hobby!
Ginny: *is scared and scarred for life* Draco...WHY?
Draco: What you mean, little missy?
Ginny: Just...why, Draco, why?!
Draco: I haven't a dern clue what you're talkin' about! *dances*
Ginny: *shaking head* I've got to stop this...Er, Draco, why don't you go practice that...dancing in the other room? I've got some papers I need to fill out for work and you're in my way.
Draco: Ok-e-dokie, hun! *dances out of room* YEEHAW!
Ginny: Dear God. What have I done to deserve this? *walks over to fireplace* *floos Harry* HARRY!
Harry: What is it, Ginny?
Ginny: Get over here. NOW.
Harry: Why, what's wrong?
Ginny: Draco's gone crazy. Absolutely mad.
Harry: Ooh...that again. Ok, I'll be there in a second.
Fireplace: *swirls and does some cool visual effects*
Harry: *falls out and lands face down on floor*
Ginny: You've never been good at the whole Floo thing have you?
Harry: Be glad I wound up here and not somewhere else. So what's the big emergency.
Ginny: *shakes head* It's like the world is ending, Harry. Some crackpot at Draco's work let him listen to some country music and now he's gone...country. *shudder*
Harry: As in...corny country western 60's muggle movies?
Ginny: Exactly.
Harry: *laughs* Oh man, you should have flooed Ron as well! He'd get a kick out of this!
Ginny: I don't really like showing off my insane husband to the family, Harry!
Harry: Yeah, yeah. Just sounded like fun, that's all.
Ginny: *eyeroll* Anyway, I've got to get him out of this phase!
Harry: What are you going to do?
Ginny: Well, I'm going to call him into the room and what I need you to do is act like you LOVE this whole crazy thing that he's doing.
Harry: Act like I love this whole country western kick?
Ginny: Yes, I'll start just go along with it, ok? Act like you've had the hobby for years.
Harry: Ok, I can do that.
Ginny: Thank you so much, Harry! *clears throat* DRACO! WE HAVE A VISITOR!
Draco: *walking down the hall* I swear, sugar cube, if that's that dern Potter again I'm gonna go throw him to the pigs! *comes in room* Darn tootin'! I was right!
Harry: *turns huge fit of laughter into a huge fit of coughing* Er - hey, Malfoy. Ginny was telling me about your new hobby, and I thought maybe you'd want to borrow some of my line dancing books!
Draco: *normal voice* Wh-what?
Ginny: Hasn't Harry ever told you, Draco? He loves the whole country western thing! He's got some more comfortable pants he could lend you too...
Harry: I sure do!
Draco: So...you're...you're telling me, that Potter likes all this stuff?
Harry: Love it.
Draco: *blink* I've got to get out of this stupid clothes! *dashes to bedroom*
Harry: *walking to closed bedroom door* If you ever want to borrow my bumless chaps, Malfoy, just let me know!
Draco: *from bedroom* GET OUT OF MY HOUSE, POTTER! I always knew you were a pansy!!
Harry: *walking back to fireplace* Haha, well that was fun.
Ginny: *laughing* Thanks again, Harry. You're a life saver. *hugs Harry*
Draco: *walks into room* OUT, POTTER!
Harry: *apparates*
Ginny: Now, Draco, you sit down and tell me what arsehole at work led you to this whole country thing so I can go down to the office and hex him...

by: Ashlee_Radcliffe_01

What would a day in the Malfoy household be like with twins (That's right! A chance for Caius and Danica together!)?

Draco: TWINS! Why couldn’t we have just had one kid! *hair is disheveled and there are bags under his eyes*
Ginny: Well, there isn’t anything we can do about it now! *same as Draco*
Draco: Don’t be so sure, we could just get rid of one now…no one would notice!
Ginny: *smacks Draco upside the head* Shut up…crap, they’re crying!
Draco: Maybe the sound of your hand hitting my head woke them up!
Ginny: Oh, stop it, you get Danica, I’ll get Ciaus!
Draco: Ginny, could you just please get this one! I haven’t slept in 3 days!
Ginny: Oh and what, I have! Just do it!
Caius: *cries*
Ginny: Oh, come here baby! I know, I know. Shhhhh. *picks up Ciaus*
Danica: *cries*
Draco: Come here beautiful. You’ll be quite for Daddy, won’t you? Please baby, I’ll buy you a pony!
Ginny: Draco! Trying to bribe our week old daughter!
Draco: What!? She’s my little girl, I’m her Daddy, I can spoil her as much as I want!
Ginny: Only you could make bribery sweet. OW!
Caius: *grabs Ginny’s hair*
Ginny: OW! Draco! A little help!
Draco: Ok, Ok! *puts Danica down*
Danica: *starts screaming*
Draco: *trying to help Ginny* Danica! Do you want that pony or not!
Danica: *stops screaming*
Draco: *gets Ciaus off of Ginny, puts him into his crib* That’s better…
Caius: *stats screaming*
Draco: DAMNIT!
Ginny: *starts crying* They just keep going and going and going…..
Draco: *starts banging head into wall* Twins! Twins! It just had to be twins!

by: Nymphadora51

What would a day in the Malfoy household be like with twins (That's right! A chance for Caius and Danica together!)?

Danica: Caius, STOOOP! No, it's MINE!
Caius: I WAAAANT it!
Danica: *Hits Caius* NooOOOO! GIIIVE it to ME!
Caius: Owww! DAAADDY! MOOOMY! Danica HIT me!
Danica: He STOLE my doll! Give it BAAACK!
Ginny: Caius! Danica! What are you doing?
Danica: He stole my doll!
Caius: *Sticks out tongue at Danica* She hit me!
Danica: Yeah, but you STOLE her first!
Draco: What is going on here? I'm trying to work!
Danica: Caius stole-
Caius: Danica hit me-
Danica: And he hurt her-
Caius: And she said I looked like Uncle Severus!
Danica: Did NOOOT!
Caius: Did too!
Ginny: Caius, Danica, stop this instant!
Draco: Oh, Danica that was low!
Ginny: *glares*
Draco: I mean..ahem, Danica, it was very wrong to say your brother looked like Uncle Severus! And Caius, that was no reason to take her doll. Danica, you should have come got us instead of hitting Caius.
Caius: *smirk*
Ginny: Wipe that smirk off your face, young man! Caius, hold Danica's hand. Yes, Danica let him.
Danica: *takes her brother's hand*
Both: *Try to break the other's hand by squeezing it.*
Ginny: Petrificus Partialus!
C/D: *Can't let go of sibling's hand*
Ginny: Now, I am leaving you like that for thirty minutes, and you'd better be nice to each other, or I'll increase it too an hour. Do I make myself clear?
C/D: *hang heads* Yes. *Go off, staying as far apart as possible*
Draco: *low whistle* Wow. You sure know how to handle them!
Ginny: No thanks to you! "Danica, that was low!"
Draco: Well, it was! I mean, calling him Uncle Severus...*shakes head*

by: DianaBottles

What would a day in the Malfoy household be like with twins (That's right! A chance for Caius and Danica together!)?

Caius: MUUUUUM! Danica won’t let me use the hair-dryer!
Danica: DAAAAAD! Caius is hogging the mirror!
Caius: MUUUUUM! Danica wasted all of the hair gel!
Danica: DAAAAAD! Caius stole my sparkly mascara!
Caius: Did not!
Danica: Did too!
Caius: Did not!
Danica: Did too!
Caius: Did not!
Danica: Did too!
Caius: Did not!
Danica: Did not!
Caius: Did t –! Oy, I’m not stupid enough to fall for that!
Danica: You’re half-Weasley, aren’t you?
Caius: Well so are you!
Danica: *blanches* But, well, you’re a Gryffindor! Gryffindors are stupid!
Draco and Ginny: *walk in*
Draco: Well said, princess!
Ginny: What do you mean “well said”? I’ll have you know we Gryffindors are brave and proud and –
Draco: *mimes* All I hear is “blah, blah, blah.” Face it, Gryffindors are boring and dull.
Ginny: We’ll see who’s boring and dull after you spend some time getting to know the couch!
Caius and Danica: *still arguing*
Draco: *mutters* I hate children. I should’ve let Fred and George eviscerate me when I had the chance.

by: XX

Do they own a television?

Ginny: Draco, I’m hooooooooome! *looks around* Draco?
*GINNY continues to search for DRACO throughout the house. Just when she is getting PANICKED, she hears some muffled, but highly SUSPICIOUS, sniffling.*
Ginny: Draco? Darling?
Draco: *sobbing*
Ginny: *sighs with RELIEF* That’s Draco, all right. Sounds just like the time he saw past that permanent at-birth glamour and realized he wasn’t a natural blonde! *groans* Oh, Merlin, I hope this isn’t a crisis of such proportions! Last time he needed shock therapy. *mumbles* And no cheese whiz for 2 MONTHS!
*GINNY walks into rec room*
Draco: *clutching TISSUES* Oh no, Raoul, don’t do that, you poor, naïve fool! She’s not in love with you! She’s only trying to make her cousin’s husband’s brother’s banker’s son jealous!
*GINNY raises an EYEBROW when she takes STOCK of the EVIDENCE of DRACO’S day spent VEGGING in front of the TV. But it is not until she sees the STUBBLE on DRACO'S face that GINNY truly REALIZES that something is very, very WRONG with the WORLD.*
Ginny: Hello, Draco, how was your day?
Draco: *sniffling* She’s just going to rob you blind and run off with him into the sunset! Noooo!
Ginny: Draco, are you crying?
*DRACO continues to sob and stare at the TV as though it holds the SECRET to all of the MYSTERIES of LIFE.*
Ginny: Oy, Malferret! *pauses* Wow, if he was in his right mind, he would have made some sort of snappy pseudo-comeback by now! *looks at back of TV* “Warning: Only Plays Smutty, Addictive Muggle Soap Operas.” *groans* Bloody hell, I should’ve known better than to accept a gift from Fred and George!

by: XX

Ginny and Draco are given 2 mintues in any store to grab whatever they want for free. What do they instinctively first want to get?

Outside a store

Ginny: *holding blue print of store* Alright, you take this quadrent first, and then this one second. I will take this quadrent first, then move on to here.
Draco: Ginny, please! Why are you making me do this! It's embarrassing!
Ginny: How is it embarrasing? It's free stuff!
Draco: I'm a Malfoy. I can buy anything. I don't need some silly handouts.
Ginny: Draco, this is for fun! Just induldge a little.
Draco: *shakes head* No. This is not fun.
Ginny: Fine. You probably wouldn't do good anyway. I'd be able to grab more stuff than you.
Draco: Excuse me? I don't think so! I could grab more stuff than you, hands down. I was a seeker!
Ginny: So was I!
Draco: *humph* I'm still better.
Ginny: Oh, yeah? Prove it!
Draco: You're on!

Two minutes later

Draco: I won! I won!
Ginny: No, actually, I won!
Draco: No way! Number wise, I definetally win.
Ginny: That's not what I mean.
Draco: What do you mean, then?
Ginny: *pats him on head* Nothing. Just enjoy your free hair care products you scrambled for so embarrassingly.
Draco: Yes, I think I will.....Crap! I just scrambled for these free hair care products embarrassingly. You did win!
Ginny: But, admit it, it was fun.
Draco: No.
Ginny: Admit it.
Draco: *hugs his free hair care products to his chest* Fine. It was.

by: Lady Draherm

Ginny and Draco are given 2 mintues in any store to grab whatever they want for free. What do they instinctively first want to get?

Store manager: Congratulations to Draco and Ginny Malfoy! You have TWO minutes to get whatever you want!
Draco: Anything?
Manager: Anything...starting now!
Ginny: Draco. We. Are. Leaving. Now.
Draco: Yeah, right. Come on! (Grabs Ginny's arm and races through the shop, grabbing random things and tossing them to a store employee to hold)
Ginny: This is a Dark Arts supply store!
Draco: (Stops briefly to consider a spiked mace with eyes) Yeah, I know. Chain stores are never as good as the little family owned ones, but hey, take what you can get, right?
Ginny: But some of these things are practically illegal!
Draco: (Excitedly) I know! And we don't even have to waste time going through a middleman! (Tosses shield with tentacula teeth attached to employee, who jumps out of the way)
Ginny: (To employee) Put it back! We're not getting any of it!
Draco: They have basilisk hatchlings! And with the protective goggles already on! I changed my mind - I love chain stores! (Rushes off to get evil dark serpents)
Ginny: Five...four...three...two...one. (Sighs in relief as Draco stops just short of basilisk eggs)
Store Manager: Time's up!
Draco: Your clock's broken.
Manager: Really??? (Turns to see)
Draco: *Slips egg under robe*
Manager: Looks alright to me.
Draco: *Innocent shrug*
Ginny: Draco. Now.
They leave. Later, at home...
Ginny: *Screams* Draco, there's a snake in the bathtub!
Draco: Oh, that's just the basilisk!
Ginny: Well, come and kill it for Merlin's sakes!
Draco: But I already named him!

by: DianaBottles

When they suddenly find theirselves in trouble without a wand, what is Draco and Ginny's preferred defense method?

Draco....
Sneering Death Eater: Well well Draco. You appear to be wandless. Pity.
Draco: "Well well Draco, you appear to be wandless. Isn't that a pity!"
S.D.E.: How dare you mock me!
Draco: *Whips out secondary wand* Cause I've got a backup.
S.D.E.: ****.

Ginny....
Sneering Death Eater: This is where it all ends, Weasley.
Ginny: Actually, it's Malfoy now. Did you miss the wedding?
S.D.E.: *Guttural sound of uncontrollable rage. Charges.*
Ginny: *Taekwondo/Karate move*
S.D.E.: *Keels over*
Draco: *Rushes in, panting* Ginny! Are you alright?
Ginny: *Scowling* He missed the wedding!

by: DianaBottles

Write what happens when Ginny and Draco are taking a stroll through muggle London and a Modeling Agent spots Draco (or Ginny if you want) and is intent on making him/her a star.

Muggle Agent (MA): Oh my Lord! Isn't that just beautiful?
Ginny: Yes, the lake is very pretty, isn't it?
MA: No, not the lake! Who cares about the lake! Look at that man!
Ginny: Draco? What about him?
MA: Isn't he gorgeous!?!?
Draco: *unaware that people are talking about him* Stay away from me, you evil duck, you! I will have none of your beak! You smell like a duck!
Ginny: Um...
MA: He'd be a perfect model! Good sir!
Draco: And now the duck has a Muggle to help him! Stay away, vile Muggle, this sandwhich is mine! Mine you hear!
MA: On second thought.... *backs away*
Ginny: Draco, we'd best be going now....

And everyone leaves. And then they all eat sandwhiches. Except for the duck. And then Draco and Ginny snog. And then they all die of heart attacks.
The end

by: SpiderMonkey

If Ginny got pregnant and she was feeling bad for herself (thinking she was fat, ugly, etc.) What would Draco do?

Ginny: *is seven months pregnant* Draco, do you still find me attractive?
Draco: Huh?
Ginny: Do you still think I'm beautiful?
Draco: *blank stare*
Ginny: *sighs* Compliment me. Make me feel better. Tell me I'm still pretty.
Draco: Why?
Ginny: Because I can't take it any more! I'm as big as a house!
Draco: *thoughtfully* Yes, you really have put on an extraordinary amount of weight.
Ginny: *glares*
Draco: I mean, it's amazing, really, how you've just tripled in size.
Ginny: *glares harder*
Draco: Are you sure you aren't having triplets?
Ginny: *hexes*
Draco: *is now a ferret*
Ferret!Draco: *squeaks*
Ginny: Huh. What do you know? I do feel better.

by: Coppala

Would Ginny ever go through a phase when she dyed her hair all the time? If so, what colors? And when? During Hogwarts? Or after? What does Draco think?

Draco: AHHHHH!
Ginny: What? Don’t you like it?
Draco: Ginny, what have you done!? You’re beautiful red hair, its…its…PINK!
Ginny: Yes, it’s called ‘Passion Pink” and if you let me, I’ll show you what they mean by that *suggestive smile*
Draco: Are you kidding me! I’m not shagging you when you look like that!
Ginny: And why not?
Draco: Because, if we had a daughter, that’s what she would look like!
Ginny: *goes into the shower*
Draco: What are you doing?
Ginny: It says it come out in ten washes, I’ll use all the water in Hogwarts if I have too!

by: Nymphadora51

Write what happens when Ginny and Draco are taking a stroll through muggle London and a Modeling Agent spots Draco (or Ginny if you want) and is intent on making him/her a star.

Agent: OMG! This is it! Right here, I have found the next big thing in the modeling world! *walks over to Draco*
Draco: Excuse me?
Agent: You! Tell me, have you ever considered a career as a model?
Ginny: *laughs* A model? Have you lost your mind?!
Agent: Excuse me miss, but I do believe I was talking to your…er…friend here.
Ginny: That’s husband for your information!
Agent: Oh, well…ah miss, I think you have some dirt on your face.
Ginny: Those are freckles!
Draco: Ginny, be nice! I want to here what this man has to say!
Agent: What’s your name, or do you simply go by God’s Gift to Women?
Draco: *laughs cockily* Only to those who insist on calling me that, but everybody else calls me Draco Malfoy.
Agent: Draco Malfoy! Oh, what a name! Listen, there is a photo shoot at three o’clock. Here’s the address, and if you’re interested, come. I’m sure the photographer would love to meet you!
Draco: Thanks!
Agent: *shakes Draco’s hand and leaves*
Draco: Ginny, can you believe this!
Ginny: No, I can’t. Draco, your not actually taking this guy seriously are you?
Draco: As a matter of fact I am! I have had many people tell me that I could be a model!
Ginny: Draco, standing in front of a mirror and telling yourself that over and over again does not count!
Draco: Come on Gin! Have a little faith!
Ginny: Fine, fine!

*at the photo shoot*

Agent: Here he is! The next big star!
Photographer: OMG! It’s like seeing an angel!
Draco: Well, I…
Photographer: *walks over to Ginny* This has to be the single most beautiful creature I have ever seen!
Draco/Agent: *jawfloor*
Agent: Well of course! The red hair, those brown eyes, and those adorable freckles!
Draco: But…I…
Photographer: Please miss, may I have your name?
Ginny: Oh, I’m Ginevra Malfoy.
Photographer: Ginevra Malfoy! So beautiful, so elegant! Please I beg you, model for this spread!
Draco: Excuse me! But I do believe that I was the one asked to come here!
Ginny: Now, now Draco, don’t be rude!
Agent: Yes, why don’t you go get the lovely Miss Malfoy some water while she changes.
Draco: That’s Mrs. Malfoy! And I do not get anybody water! Now I was asked to model and damnit, that’s what I’m going to do!
Photographer: Well, I do think we might need you Mr. Malfoy! Yes, you can be the pimply kid that our beautiful model turns down for a date! Makeup!
Ginny: Draco, you don’t have to do this if you don’t want to.
Draco: What are you talking about? I’m going to be a model!
Ginny: *palmface*

by: Nymphadora51

What would a day in the Malfoy household be like with twins (That's right! A chance for Caius and Danica together!)?

Silent. Very silent.

Draco: *over breakfast* Look kids, I broke a nail.
Danica: Get over it.
Caius: *snicker*
Draco: Silencio!
Ginny: Wanna go shag?
Draco: Thought you’d never ask.

by: N&hp

Pick your favorite part in one of the Harry Potter movies. Explain the scene and write a skit describing Draco and Ginny making comments on the scene.

In PoA, I love the part where Harry goes to grab the wand in Hermione’s back pocket, and Ron reaches out and grabs her sleeve, so I shall skit on that. Ha, ha.

Draco: That’s right, Weasley! Get your woman away from Potter! He likes to steal them and shove it in your face.
Ginny: Draco, we were on a break for Merlin’s sake! And he was available. Please, get over it all ready and move on!
Draco: We might have been on a break, but it still hurt.
Ginny: Oh, you poor thing. Wanna go shag?
Draco: This movie sucks. I thought you’d never ask.

by: N&hp

If Ginny got pregnant and she was feeling bad for herself (thinking she was fat, ugly, etc.) What would Draco do?

Ginny: Oh, Gods, look at me! I’m twice the size of the Burrow!
Draco: The Burrow’s not that big. Try ten times.
Ginny: You’re not helping!
Draco: Do I ever?
Ginny: I feel like I’m going to cry. Just, please say something to make me feel better.
Draco: *thinks* I’ve got it!
Ginny: Say it!
Draco: At least you don’t have a husband who’s ten times the size of the Burrow.
Ginny: *bursts into tears*

by: N&hp

Let's say the first of the five PHB's is ready to move out... how does that look like? What about the proud parents?

Ginny: I’ll miss you Caius, owl if you need anything! Anything at all.
Draco: Good-bye, you pathetic excuse for a son. I hope you have a nice time living with that Potter tramp.
Potter tramp: Why, thanks for your support, Mr. Malfoy. *mutters* Ferret.
Caius: Don’t talk about her that way!
Draco: Don’t give me that tone! With the respect you have for me, you’re lucky I didn’t kick you out years ago.
Caius: You wouldn’t anyway, mum wouldn’t let you, and besides, we all know you’re whipped.
Draco: *lunges*
Ginny: *stuns* Bye, Caius! Have fun with [insert Potter tramp’s name here]

by: N&hp

Would Draco be able to handle all the muggle electric things Ginny would have? What's bothering him more, the toaster, the radio or the car? (Skits welcome!)

The toaster, definitely.

Toaster: *toast pops*
Draco: *jumps*
2 MINUTES LATER
Toaster: *toast pops*
Draco: *jumps* Stupid toaster
2 MINUTES LATER
Toaster: *toast pops*
Draco: *jumps* You don’t scare me.
2 MINUTES LATER
Toaster: *toast pops*
Draco: *jumps* I have more Galleons than you anyway, tough guy.
2 MINUTES LATER
Toaster: *toast pops*
Draco: *jumps* What goes around comes around, little guy.
Ginny: OH FOR MERLIN’S SAKE!

by: N&hp

What's Ginny's room like at the Burrow? What would be Draco's reaction to it? Now flip it around.

Ginny – Very small and cozy. Yellow walls. A small, wooden framed bed with a flowered comforter. Smells like jasmine. Has a small wooden dresser and desk. White curtains.

Draco’s Reaction: Seems like you dreamt of being a princess. Who was your price, bloody Potter?
Ginny: As a matter of fact, yes.
Draco: *grumbles* He’d probably like a girly room like this anyway.
TWO MINUTES LATER
Draco: It’s too girly.
Ginny: But it seems rather fitting, though, doesn’t it, since I’m marrying someone who’s practically a girl anyway.
Draco: Sticks and stones may break my bones but words shall never hurt me.
Ginny: I am marrying a girl.

Draco – King sized bed with green and black silk sheets. White walls, silver curtains. A marble desk. A green, comfy couch. A huge walk in closet that he absolutely loves. A huge mirror in the corner, so he can look at himself nonstop.

Ginny’s Reaction: Ick.
Draco: What do you mean, ick? This is beautiful!
Ginny: Ick.
Draco: *sulks*

by: N&hp

Write what happens when Ginny and Draco are taking a stroll through muggle London and a Modeling Agent spots Draco (or Ginny if you want) and is intent on making him/her a star.

Agent: Oh my God! Look at you! You are so beautiful! I could make you famous!
Draco: I all ready am famous. I’m a Malfoy.
Agent: What’s a Malfoy? Anyways, I wasn’t talking to you, I was talking to your wife!
Ginny: *smirks*
Draco: *faints*
Agent:
Ginny: He’s a bit of a drama queen.
Passersby: A bit?

by: N&hp

Let's say Ginny gets into a physical fight with Pansy Parkinson at school, what would Draco do? Does he try to separate the two? Does he stay in the sidelines knowing that if he jumped in, it would embarrass Ginny? Etc.

Pansy: I'M GONNA KEEL YOU, YOU LITTLE WEASEL!
Ginny: *Whips out wand* Try me!
Pansy: *Charges* Incaracerous!
Ginny: *Dodges spell, throws Bat-Bogey Hex* Haha!
Pansy: Serpensortia!
Ginny: Incendio!
Draco: What the hell?
Pansy: I'm killing the Weasel!
Ginny: I'm killing the pug faced Slytherin!
Draco: You're killing my girlfriend!
Both: WHICH ONE OF US IS YOUR GIRLFRIEND?
Draco: Ginny.
Pansy: I'M GONNA KEEL YOU DRACO!

by: DianaBottles

If Snape was picking on Ginny, while Draco happened to be in the same room, what would he do?

In the dungeons, Ginny's class is in progress and Snape's getting into his stride.
Snape: Can anyone here produce a passable Scintillating Solution? Anyone at all? This is pathetic, you incompetents!
Draco: *leisurely leaning against doorjamb* Excuse me, professor, but I just need to mix up a quick potion for - uh - homework. Extension, see. You know how it is.
Snape: *absently* Of course, Draco. Anything you want. The cupboard's unlocked.
Draco: Right then *wanders over*. *mutters* Let's see ... for an Acne Aromatic ... I need three rat's tails, a pinch of dried mulberry leaves ... ha, Potter'll have so many pimples this time tomorrow no-one'll be able to see where the brain damage occurred!
Snape: MISS WEASLEY!
Draco: *whips around* *whips back quickly, remembering where he is*
Snape: Miss Weasley, your potion has acquired the density of a well-cooked brick! Can you follow instructions at all?!
Ginny: *mortified at screwing up so monumentally in front of Draco* Yes, sir.
Snape: Then follow these! GO THROW THIS DOWN THE DRAIN!
Draco: *snarls at the mulberry leaves in his hand, unaware of the sixth years backing away from him looking quite scared*
Snape: Fifty points from Gryffindor -
Draco: Well, I'm good with that.
Snape: - for being an imbecile with no recognisable talents whatsoever!
Draco: Not so good with that. *spins around and throws the freshly brewed Acne Aromatic at Snape*
Snape: *stands there dripping blue slime* *pimples begin to pop up everywhere - really gross big ones, too*
Draco: Whoops. Must'a slipped. My bad. *shares a Look with Ginny*
Snape: Mr Malfoy!
Draco: *braces self* Yes, sir?
Snape: Mr Malfoy, I must congratulate you on this perfect Acne Aromatic. However did you get the rat's tails chopped so finely?

by: solitary_fey

In what sort of situation would a PHB say, "I KEEL YOU!"

Malfoy Manor
PHB: Hi mom, this is my friend Alfonso
Ginny: Hello, Alfonso I'm PHB's mother, Ginny.
*Ginny walks away*
Alfonso: Your mom's hot!
PHB: I KEEL YOU!
* PHB chases Alfonso around the manor with a butcher knife.
Alfonso: Aahhh!!!

Living Room
*Ginny in Draco's arms.
Ginny: Sounds like the kids are having fun.
*Draco smirks.

by: Plum Blossoms

If Snape was picking on Ginny, while Draco happened to be in the same room, what would he do?

Snape: Miss Weasley, what is that?
Ginny: A scintillating solution, sir.
Snape: *eyebrow raise* Then why is it yellow and whistling?
Ginny: Because its a Hufflepuff scintillating solution?
Snape: *Smirk* No, Miss Weasley, it's because you added the holly ten minutes too soon.
Ginny: *sigh*
Draco: *Walks in, heads towards the potions cabinet* Professor, I needed to get some more waterworm...
Snape: Fine, fine, Draco. Now, Miss Weasley, perhaps you'd like to test your scintillating solution.
Ginny: But it's wrong! It could kill me.
Snape: Drink it!
Draco: *to self* Snape - I keel you! *Grabs potion container, creeps up behind Snape*
Ginny: *has potion to her mouth*
Snape: Now, Miss Weasley, before my clothe- *Drops*
Draco: *Is holding broken glass bottle in PotC esque way*
Ginny: *Throws potion on Snape* Thank goodness.
Draco: *shrugs* Just doing my job.
Ginny/Draco: *Snog*.....
Class: ????
G/D: *More snogging...*
Random 5th year: Oh my god! Ginny Weasley and Draco Malfoy are SNOGGING!
Draco/Ginny: Crap.

by: DianaBottles

In what sort of situation would a PHB say, "I KEEL YOU!"?

Potter boy: My dad's better than your dad.
PHB: No way! My dad's way better than your dad.
PB: Nope! You're dad's a loser.
PHB: He is not!
PB: Yes! And my daddy said that he used to go out with your mommy, but then he broke up with her. *starts making things up* Because she wasn't pretty enough. And then she married your daddy because no one else would. And he is a loser.
PHB: I'LL KEEL YOU!

by: Lady Draherm

In what sort of situation would a PHB say, "I KEEL YOU!"?

In all situations.

Not the PHB: Hey, Caius! I ate the last cookie! Too bad, huh?
PHB: I KEEL YOU!

Not the PHB: Sorry, Caius, I accidentally spilled dandelion juice into your potion.
PHB: I KEEL YOU!

Draco: Time for bed, Caius.
PHB: I KEEL YOU!

by: Coppala

Some random guy is hitting on Ginny. What does Draco do? Now swap the situation!

Random Guy: So, red, want to go out sometime?
Ginny: Um, no thanks.
Draco: Yeah, she’s with me. A Malfoy. So, get lost.
RG: Shut up, shrimp.
Draco: Shrimp???!?!?!?! I’ll show you shrimp! *tackles*
RG: *cries*
Ginny: *smirks*

Random Girl: Hey, sweet thing.
Draco: Ooh, hey babe.
Ginny: Draco!
Draco: Oh, um…*looks at RG* Back off, bitch.
RG: *startled*
Ginny: *smirks*

by: N&hp

In what sort of situation would a PHB say, "I KEEL YOU!"?

Caius: Hayden, I want you to meet my mum and dad.
Hayden: Hello, Mr. Malfoy…hello *sees Ginny* *squeak*
Ginny: Nice to meet you Hayden.
Hayden: *squeak*
Draco: *rolls eyes* Bloody pansy.
D/G: *leaves*
Hayden: Your mum’s hot! Is she available?
Caius: She’s with my dad!
Hayden: So I have no chance of shagging her?
Caius: I KEEL YOU!

by: N&hp

Are either Draco or Ginny afraid of bugs/spiders/snakes? Do they have to save each other from the EVIL CREATURES?!

[Scenario: The day following a row between DRACO and GINNY. They are not SPEAKING.]

(Note: If you’ve read The Fire and Ice Chronicles, you’ll know who Lily is. If you haven’t, go read it. Muahahaha. As are both the PHBs. In fact, F&I’s generic female!PHB Danica originated from The FICs, but that’s all I’m telling you.)

Ginny:*from the GARDEN* Draco! DRACO!
Draco: *to HAYDEN, who is SULKING, and to DANICA, who is TALKING to LILY* Do you hear anything?
Danica: *IGNORES DRACO and CONTINUES to TALK about those FINE 6th year Ravenclaw boys*
Lily: *IGNORES DRACO and CONTINUES to LISTEN to DANICA TALK about those FINE 6th year Ravenclaw boys*
Hayden: *SULKS over the attention being LAVISHED on the BLOODY Ravenclaw boys*
Ginny: DRACO! Please, love, I NEED YOUR HELP!
Draco: *bitterly* Get your precious Potter to help you!
Hayden: *looking like a PUPPY who wants to be CUDDLED* Giving my mother the cold shoulder isn’t going to prove anything. Stop pretending you can’t hear her terrified screams. *rolls EYES* She sounds like she’s in trouble. Go help her. *looks EXPECTANTLY at LILY, EXPECTING to be COMMENDED for his sensibility*
Lily:*IGNORES HAYDEN and CONTINUES to LISTEN to DANICA TALK about those FINE 6th year Ravenclaw boys and adds animated comments about Steven CORNER*
Hayden:*CONTINUES to SULK over the attention being LAVISHED on the BLOODY Ravenclaw boys and begins PLANNING the grisly DEATH of Steven CORNER*
Draco: *glares IMPRESSIVELY at ALL*: Fine. *walks out to the GARDEN*
*Suddenly, a loud THUMP snaps DANICA, LILY, and HAYDEN out of their respective attempts to DRIVE their older brother INSANE, to TORTURE the BOY who FANCIES her, and to plan the MURDER of the BLOKE the girl he FANCIES is talking abo – er, I mean, their various ENDEAVORS. The THREE walk out to the GARDEN.*
Ginny: I mean, I know I over-reacted a little – it’s only a harmless little garden snake – but when I shouted for Draco to come out here and kill it, he took one look at it and fainted!
Danica: *snickers*
Lily: Wait ‘till my father hears about this one!
Hayden: Merlin, my parents are such pansies! *pulls out his WAND and AK’s the SNAKE* There, you happy now? *looks EXPECTANTLY at LILY, EXPECTING to be COMMENDED for his sensibility*
Lily: You – you murderer! *STALKS back into the house*
Hayden: *growls, looking as though the next person to LOOK at him FUNNY will suffer the same FATE of the garden snake*

*The next CHRISTMAS*

Draco: *rips a CARD off a SUSPICIOUS package* What the hell did Potter get me a present for? *opens the SUSPICIOUS package and lifts out a SHIRT*
*The SHIRT depicts a strangely FAMILIAR blonde MAN running away from a garden SNAKE.*
Draco: *reads aloud* “I’m afraid of my own species, ask me how!” What the – bloody Potter!

by: XX

Ginny gets a new cellphone for convenience. What does Draco think of it? Skits welcome

Ginny: *Is gabbing on a diamond studded cellphone* Hermione, he didn't! Oh, he did!
Draco: *Mockingly to self* Hermione, oh, he did not!
Ginny: *Gasps* And then what!
Draco: *Folds arms sulkily*
Ginny: Oh my god! What did you say?
Draco: *looks at clock*
Ginny: Oh, Hermione, that's awful! Brand new and everything...
Draco: *Sighs loudly*
Ginny: You deserve much better, of course you do!
Draco: That's it! *Grabs phone* Hermione, Ginny has to go. Buh-bye. *Throws phone out open window*
Ginny: Draco! What was that for!
Draco: When I said, "Come to bed" I didn't mean with your cell phone!

by: DianaBottles

One of the PHBs has an accident on Draco's favourite leather pants-while he's wearing them! What happens? Skits are welcome!

Draco and Ginny are shopping with the PHB.

Draco: *carries PHB through store* How much longer?
Ginny: Just a few more minutes. I just need to get a few more things.
Draco: I don't think Caius feels very well.
Ginny: *looks at PHB* He's fine.
PHB: *looks at Draco*
Draco: Don't even think about it.
PHB: *throws up all over Draco*
Draco: AHHHH! Ginny! Take him, take him, take him!
Ginny: *takes the PHB from Draco* Draco, calm down! It's just a little spit up!
Draco: It's on my pants! My beautiful pants! My beautiful, expensive, dragon hide pants! What are we to do?
Ginny: We'll just have to wash them…
Draco: Wash them! Brilliant! *promptly takes off pants*
Other shoppers: *gawk*
Ginny: …when we get home!
Draco: Oh.
Other shoppers: *still gawking*
Ginny: *facepalm*

by: Coppala

Is Draco a pickup lines kinda guy? Has he ever tried any out on Ginny?

Draco: Is that a mirror in your pocket?
Ginny: No. You're hair looks fine.
Draco: *sighs* No, that's not what I mean! You just ruined my pickup line!
Ginny: Pickup line? Draco, we're married. You don't need a pickup line to get me in the sack. Just ask.
Draco: I was trying to be funny!
Ginny: Pickup lines aren't funny. They're cheesy.
Draco: Can't you just play along this once!
Ginny: Fine. Try it again.
Draco: Is that a mirror in your pocket?
Ginny: *sighs* No, why?
Draco: Because I can see myself in your pants.
Ginny: That's not funny.
Draco: *huff* It would have been if it hadn't taken five minutes!
Ginny: Speaking of five minutes, wanna go to the bedroom?
Draco: Now that is a pickup line.

by Lady Draherm