Nick Postagulous
Thursday, January 13, 2005
Transcend
Most of my relatives believe that a person can either curl their tongue or they can't. That it's not a learned thing, but some innate part of your genetic structure. If you aren't a natural born tongue curler, you've just missed out. There is no way to transcend your non-tongue curling DNA/karma/fate. You will never curl your tongue, and this will, possibly on a yearly basis, at parties, be a small source of entertainment.
And really, in a world where Joan Rivers and her spawn mocking expensive and avant garde clothing LIVE is considered TV worthy, noting the sad existence of non-tongue curl invalids is pretty good stuff.
I on the other hand, believe that you can transcend your non-tongue curlyness. I might be wrong, but it's a triumph of the human will thing. I taught my left hand how to do that Live Long and Prosper thing. Though I'm still totally unable to do it with my right hand, making those sad fingers akimbo attempts (which are so much fun at parties), I can celebrate my ability to overcome and do Vulcan humor and also, while quite dated, Mork humor, with my left hand.
Not Transcend
However, I do think there are things you can't transcend. But I can't think of any.
Low Rider
In a dream last night, I dreamed of a car which had been lowered. It was literally floorboard on the ground. I wanted to take a picture, but, you know how it is with dreams. No camera.
Mirrors are to Vampires as Cameras are to..
I don't think I've ever had a camera in a dream. Maybe they're like vampires are with mirrors and cameras cannot appear in dreams. And I've always though that whole vampire crap was some really weak fantasy too. I mean, do they buy vampire clothes? Did the sheep that made their wool suit cannibalize other sheep?
Sloppy sci-fi, you gotta hate it.
And, in traffic, it would be really easy to spot vampires in the car behind you. I bet vampires would get sick of people turning around to see if there was anyone in that car behind them.
And garlic. That's stupid too.
And you know how they always pop up behind people and disappear in the movies? I'd like for once for someone to show it from the vampire's perspective as they sneak into the house (which, according to Buffy rules, can't happen, you have to invite them in. I think the Lost Boys was like that also.)
I'm really more about zombies anyway.
