Daddy’s Girl
Earlier in the week, Nina finally hit 20 lbs. In fact, today, Alison weighed her and she was 20.5. What this means is that since she’s over a year old, and now over 20 lbs, she can face forward in a carseat. So, Friday, after work, I picked her up from her Grandmother Jackson’s TDY apartment and took her home in the Miata for the first time.

To say that Nina loved it would be a severe understatement. Rarely, if ever, have I seen her have such a long, sustained, laughing and whooping (but not true whoops, but baby whoops). I even took a slightly longer way home so that we’d have more trees and hills on the way home.

Sense of Accomplishment
Since the Neenster is prone to Miata these days (weekdays minus Wendnesday), I had to fix one of the, shall we say, little flaws my car has. You see, the car is eleven years old, manufactured March 1993 as a 1994 model, and things get old and break. In this case, it was the “gaskets” at the top front of the side windows. They have little rips along the inside, the unseen part, and when it rains, they fill up with water. And when I start driving, when I do my first hard acceleration, it pees on my shoulder. And when I do my first braking, hard or not, it pees on my knee. So, I had to fix the gaskets. I used clear silicone caulk type stuff.

After that, which was done with Nina sleeping in her stroller next to me in the garage, I changed out a hallway light. And then after that, I put Nina’s ceiling fan in her room. Handy me, eh?

Resident Evil: Doodoo Stacked on Poopoo
I liked the first Resident Evil movie enough to buy the DVD (used). It’s a great show, background music by Marylin Manson, and my favorite genre cliché, elite military team. Oh, I’m all about the elite military team, as long as they are fighting zombies or aliens, and they all die die die.

This movie is not only discombobulated, which is in MS Word’s spell check, but it’s just plain dumb. And, there really aren’t too many zombies in it. It starts with mucho zombie action, but they intentionally go out of their way to have no plot revealed. Was this supposed to make me feel suspense? It didn’t. And then, stuff just didn’t make sense.

If you are an alleged elite military team fighting zombies, why not get on top of a building and bring in more ammo via helicopter. What they do in this is stand in the middle of the street and run out of ammo, get bit, etc. Uh, let me hint you a little here; the Zombie Nation will never win ladder climbing at the Olympics. (Uppity up up!)

Then, about the time that Nemesis shows up and kills all the interesting characters we’ve just met, some plottyness starts. Plot 1: Kill Nemesis. Then plot two, which is stupid, starts. Plot 2: Pick up bad-guy-turned-good’s daughter from school.

Never, if you are in an American cinema movie, ever challenge the turf of zombie middle-schoolers. American cinema will not let you shoot kids. I’m sorry, angst ridden zombie youth will eat you. And skinless dogs will chase you out of the building, you’ll discover that T-virus infected Milla Jovovich smokes, and that gas explosion you planned will finally “finish becoming.” But who are we kidding, like that wuss explosion could kill a zombie dog with no skin. Hey, something happened that made his skin all fall off, and probably worse stuff than your one-step-higher-than-a-grease-fire kitchen antics. Though, kudos for hitting a skinless doberman with a frying pan. First time I’ve ever seen that. I’ll cherish it.

Then we get to lame as crap plot 3: Don’t get killed by the guy who for some reason wants lots of people to die in the town. See, he’s trying to cover up the fact that the T-virus got out. And, hey, ruin the end for you, he succeeds posthumously. But what about all the people who evacced the city at the beginning, don’t they know the truth?

Oh, and Plot 1, forget that, Milla fights Nemisis and then they’re good buds. Plot 2 was accomplished, but the dude got killed and zombified faster than you can well, read this long rambing sentence.

At then end of this movie, that made Terminator 3 look like high art, they set up some lame crap so they can have a third movie…EVEN THOUGH THEY NUKED ALL THE ZOMBIES.

Especially crap anti-kudos goes to the “Milla can outrun a helicopter’s ability to aim its machine gun” and “Milla drops her gun and catches it to shoot the guys who told her to drop it”. Why? Because I just saw those two scenes during a documentary of the Dreamcast. They were in Resident Evil: Code Verinica.

Oh, but the sucktasticly most sucko suck suck scene was when Milla crashed her Harley through the groanfully bad Jesus Christ Surfer Superstar stained glass, and then shot it so the explosion would kill a quick zombie (they’re different) that had moments before been dodging bullets. Obviously, it can’t dodge motorcycles. And that other one can’t dodge crosses.

Moderately amusing was that the data screens at the labs show a Milla with actual breasts, and when we see her naked, she actually has no breasts. I was like, “Who put that boy in that tank full of zombie water?”

If you liked the first RE movie, skip this one. If you didn’t see, or didn’t like, the first RE, well, definitely avoid this, but the DVD is worth a rent just for the documentary on Marylin Manson doing the background music.

Oh…oh…and the girl that had to be picked up from George Washington Zombie Elementary spoke with the same exact voice as the Red Queen did in RE1. Boooo!

I could go on forever. Just wait until I freak out when, rumored to be ultra-sucky, Blade III comes out.

- posted by Nick Postagulous @ 1:14 AM