Fantasizing About Beating Lloyd With A Chair
When my co-workers ask me how the training was, my response is "Well, I hated being there, but I did learn some, but not much, but generally I hated it." And a big part of me hating it was Lloyd. Lloyd and his buddies were at the table next to the one that I moved to.

If you recall, or not even recall but just read the post before this, at my table for the first day, I had some gal who didn't understand that I had peripheral vision and she stared at me quite a bit. So, day two and I move. Then, I was at the table next to Lloyd.

Lloyd and his buddies would talk during the lectures. And they didn't know how to whisper. The lecturers would actually look over at them, as they talked full volume as if there wasn't anything else going on. Occasionally, they would stop, and then Lloyd's itch to hear his own voice would be too much and he'd raise his hand and say "Question!" Sometimes he would do this during the lecturer's sentence. Lloyd would then ask a question either on a totally different subject or something that he should have already known or something that the answer was a few minutes before when him and his Kentucky buddies were talking over the lecturer.

I fantasized about picking up the vacant chair in front of me and beating Lloyd endlessly with it. I imagined how he would shrink and recoil from my smashing him with that chair. I smile just thinking about it.

My But What Strong Hands You Have
The other interesting feature of my new table was that in direct view of the podium and screen was a gal, not unattractive by any means, well, some would find her hands offputting, cause she had some seriously strong looking hands. They weren't big hands, but the tendons stuck out the back of them and the muscle tone on her forearms and hands was like a bodybuilder who had been cutting. Nearly no fat whatsoever on her hands and forearms. But, she still had her cheeks, which is something that gal bodybuilder's lose, and she didn't look like a body builder. She just had superhands.

To say that I found her hands interesting is to say the least. I feared the hands. I expected her coffee cup to shatter upon her picking it up.

And Speaking Of Fear
Sitting next to Lloyd's table, I feared for my life when the Combined Wastestream Formula came up. In the class of about 50, there were about 5 engineers, and about 8 scientists (strong hand lady raised her sinewy paw when biologist was named), and the rest were the worst riffraff you could imagine. In fact, Lloyd was like an extra from The Big Lebowski. Well, Lloyd's stupid questions hit new highs when this very simple math formula came up. I was afraid that rather than someone just rushing him and stabbing a pen into his jugular, that maybe someone had a grenade or flame thrower or other weapon that would get the people sitting next to him.

But, really, the people there were pretty nice, so I'm sure they'd say "I'm about to catch Lloyd and his Kentucky buddies on fire, so you guys might want to back up." I know I would. Nah, I'd just beat him with a chair. Endlessly.
- posted by Nick Postagulous @ 8:11 AM