Monday, May 31
12:16 a.m.-- At Laurel Apartments, officer stated that people were possibly "egging" cars.
(POSSIBLY?? either they are or they are not, mr. officer, which is it?)

Saturday, June 5
11:39 a.m.-- Complainant requested an escort into the Student Services Building to slide some papers under his bosses' office door and then be escorted out.
(did UTPD suddenly becomes an escort service?)

Wednesday, June 9
8:03 p.m.--Complainant reported a group of people skate boarding inside the Presidential Court Building.
(see what happens when the skateboarders get run off from the Humanities Skate Park.)

Saturday, June 12
7 p.m.--Officer was dispatched to check on three people in the fountain of the Clarence Brown Theater. 
(can't blame anyone for wanting to get wet in the middle of june ... i guess this is cheaper to the city and the university than turning on a fire hydrant.)

Friday, June 25
11:45 p.m.--KPD requested assistance looking for a shooting suspect on the Poultry Farm.
(call your congressman and join the fight today ... to pass legislation to keep guns out of the hands of chickens!!)

Sunday, July 4
5:01 a.m.--Officer advised there were several subjects in the pool at the Aquatic Center.
(the subjects from the june 12 fountain incident strike again ... only this time they set the eyes on a bigger target.)

Tuesday, July 6 
8:13 a.m.--Complainant said someone had hit their UT truck with an egg outside the Environmental Health and Safety Building. 
(the officer from may 31 was just a little premature in his egging sightings ... or maybe he moonlights as a psychic friend.)

Friday, July 9 
3:59 p.m.--Complainant reported people were climbing on the fountain at the Humanities and Social Sciences Building. 
(the fountain freaks return again ... this is beginning to be a frequent occurrence in the crime log ..... wonder if the fountain people are kin to the humanities skateboarders?)

Saturday, July 10
7:41 a.m.-- Officer was checking on a suspicious person lying on a wall on White Avenue behind the Law School Building. 
(how does one do this ..... seems like it would defy gravity to me ...)

Saturday, July 17
3:57 a.m.--Officer made an arrest at 14th Street and Clinch Avenue for underage drinking, curfew and criminal impersonation. 
(if your going to impersonate a person ... next time make sure it isn't a criminal.)

Tuesday, August 3
8:47 a.m.--Complainant stated that they lost a 16-foot trailer with a wooden bed at the Agriculture Engineering Building. 
(how do you lose something so big????)

Friday, August 6
4:43 p.m.--Complainant reported harassing phone calls at Barclay House Apartments.
(which is it ... house or apartments?)