Larry's Ponderings
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    E-mail Humor
    Things to Ponder (1002-????)
    By Larry
    1002  Why is it that at funerals, people who go ostensibly to see the dead person instead do just about everything but that?
    1003  Why do people cry as much at weddings as they do at funerals?
    1004  Why do people tend to focus on death only after someone else has died?
    1005  Why am I on such a morbid topic?
    1006  Why don't good things also come in threesomes?
    1007  If all dogs go to heaven, does that also mean that b!tc#e$ go to heaven as well?
    1008  Can non-drinkers have a hangunder?
    1009  Is there a ratio between the number of cats owned and the magnitude of neurotic disorders?
    1010  Is grass always greener on the other side for color-blind individuals?
    1011  Pondering why events like weddings and graduations tend to have an inherent boredom factor...
    1012  When time drags on, is time being a crossdressing transvestite?
    1013  Do other people ever suffer from a case of ponderer's block?
    1014  (From Monty Python:)  Why do witches burn?
    1015  Who starred in the earliest bit of porn?  And were its naughty bits exaggerated?
    1016  What exactly did Britney Spears do again that made her say "Oops!"? 
    1017  Is it a good or bad thing when one fails a pregnancy test?
    1018  Related to above:  Is it me or what, but is the pregnancy test the only test some girls can pass in school?
    1019  Musical ponder:  Is the do re me fa so la te do scale named after Homer Simpson?
    1020  Pondering yet once again the very slow rate of updates to this webpage...
    1021  Why the hell does that blind kung fu dude use analogies involving hopping insects? 
    1021  Has a 502 ever caused a 420, which then is related to a 311, resulting in a 187 shown on 90210?
    1022  Has any redneck beer joint ever proudly advertised having "the warmest beer in town"?
    1023  If people think I'm crazy, do they ever stop to think how crazy people view them?
    1024  Who would win in a fight between Britney Spears and Christina Aguilera?  Eminem?
    1025  Why are humans the only mammalian species to have significant numbers of its members to lose hair?
    1026  WWSSD?  (What What Sy Sperling Do?) 
    1027  If women are as fascinated by a big member as men are by big breasts, then why aren't more men getting saline penis implants?
    1028  Related to above:  If said saline penis implant was to burst, would people laugh?
    1029  Pondering the number of people sick of this line of thought....Then pondering if I care.......Then pondering about llama breast implants and its safety issues.....Then pondering sleeping.....
    1030  Would a narcoleptic person find compatibility with an insomniac?  Or would this be a modern day person of Jack Sprat and his wife?
    1031  Prozac or Ritalin? 
    1032  LSD or Angel Dust?
    1033  Shirts or Skins?
    1034  Sane or Insane?
    1035  Bored or Silly?
    1036  Gives a rat's @$$ or does not give?
    1037  Mad Genius or Stupid Wannabe?
    1038  Who sucks the most:  Backstreet, N'Sync, Christina Aguilera with Eminem?
    1039  Are people getting dumber or are we ourselves just getting smarter?
    1040  Which of these things is not like the other:  N'Sync, Ricky Martin, Dragqueen at the Underground, Pink Elmo Boy?  Which one is least likely to do a Milli Vanilli?  Look gay?  Mess with drunk sailors' minds?  Update a webpage?
    1041  Why is it that the more simple a thing is made, the more complex people assume it is?
    1042  If things were as simple as those 1-2-3 books seem to imply, then why do people buy those books?
    1043  Is there a Guide to Dummies for Dummies?
    1044  Why is it that the more profound a thought is, the less likely others will ever hear it?
    1045  Pondering the importance of James Best in the sitcom world.  Still pondering. Pondering...
    1046  Why is it that the more one wants to speak, the less likely the words will come out?
    1047  Pondering ponderous thoughts on the Pinto... Why, Lord, why?
    1048  Why do guys write poetry for women, when most of it turns out to be sappy?
    1049  Why can't I write what I think and think what I feel and feel what I write?
    1050  Pondering the commercial ramifications of celebrating Kwanzaa.  Get up to 50% off during the annual Kwanzaa holiday sale!

    Larry's Ponderings
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