By Footey

2. the actual only known halfway intelligent thing beavis has ever said..."why is it called taking a dump, when your not taking a dump, your leaving a dump?" 

3. why do little kids ask, "why is the sky blue," but never seem to ask why the sky is black at night? 

4. ok, this one i got off a shirt a friend of mine got several years ago......if Jesus is jewish, how come he has a puerto rican name? 

5. once again i pose the question, how did the smurfs reproduce? (i have a short essay on this topic if anyone is interested) 

6. if Green lights stand for Go and Yellow lights stand for Yield, how come Red lights don'tstand for Run? 

7. does God have a sense of humor? (i seem to think so, after all, he created us!) 

8. why does every hootie song sound the same? 

9. 2 kings 2:23..."from there elisha went up to bethel. as he was walking along the road, someyouths came out of the town and jeered him 'go on up, you baldhead!'"............is si sperling,"i'm not just a member, i'm the   president of the hair club for men," come from the line of elisha? 

10. if someone with multiple personalities kills himself, is it suicide or homicide? does this give new meaning to the lyrics to smashing pumpkin's song "disarm," where it goes "the killer in me, is the killer in you?" 

11. do you remember the cars that used to say "your door is ajar" when the door was opened.doesn't any of the auto makers know that a door is a door, not a jar? 

12. shouldn't the "tickle me elmo" doll be named "tickle elmo"? after all, consumers tickle elmo, elmo does not tickle the consumers. 

13. what was the hundred years war called while it was going on? 

14. according to the passage in the Bible and the poem by robert frost, we stand at a junctionof two paths and we choose one of them to follow. if we stop one day and realize we took thewrong path, how is it possible to get to the right path? the correct answer to this question is through God, but in order to illustrate His point better, God gave us trig.
 

wrong path (a)
junction of two paths	right path (b)

how to get back on right path = God (c)
c²  = a² + b² 
...one note, if your visualization of the paths are not a right triangle, then you would use the law of cosines...... c² = a² + b² - 2 * a * b * cos theta 

15. how come janis joplin, jimi hendrix, jim morrison, robert johnson, and kurt cobain all died at the age of 27? 

16. why don't store owners turn day light savings time into another excuse to have a sale? 

17. was green eggs and ham written about dyed easter eggs or ones that had been in the fridgea little too long? 

18. why does any kind of meat that you have never ate said to taste like chicken? 

19. how come kentucky fried chicken is actually fried by some minimum wage worker intennessee, or whatever state you are in at the present moment? 

20. how do we get too much time on our hands? will it wash off with soap? 

21. why am i still in front of the computer typing this, when i should be in bed?

22. finally, from monty python's search for the holy grail.."what is the average air speedvelocity of an unladen swallow?"

23. next time you are in h.p.e.r., take a look at the signs on the wall above the elevators and above the snack machines that say something about theplace is monitored by security cameras. ponder if their is actually anyonewatching. if you think there is someone watching, ponder if he/she will getfired cause of budget cuts.

24. speaking of h.p.e.r., why is there a file cabinet next to the snack machines, and what is in there? if i look in there, will i be recorded on the security cameras?