By Footey (a look at dating back before footey found the love of his life)

* the last time you had a date, gerald ford was in office

* it would make a good soap opera script

* you have ever placed/answered a personals ad

* you have ever gone a blind date with someone you met through a personals ad or singles service

* everyone thinks of you just as a friend

* the last time you were touched by a naked body part, other than your own, was at a nudie bar

* you have ever read personal ads for any other reason other than to read the amusing things people write

* if you are or have ever been signed up for the tennessean/nashville banner it takes two etrieve thing, which sends you ads that meet your search criteria via e-mail

* you call your ex's by names that describe the relationship (i.e. duplistic kim #1 and duplistic kim #2)

* you easily identify with the cranberries or blues music lyrics

* your love life could be turned into a country or a blues song

* after getting dumped, you ponder "are there any honest and caring people in this world"

* upon reading the title of this list, you thought what love life!

* you often fulfill the murphy's law of relationships...those who can get
screwed over and dumped, will get screwed over and dumped

* you have ever discussed your love life with a psychic friend

* you took the psychic friend's advice (you know, your getting married to the guy who happened to be in a blue shirt one day in the cereal isle of kroger)

* you have been single so long that your parents start to worry about you

* you want to legally change your name to BFI, cause your dumped so much

* you have grown so used to spending friday and saturday nights at home, that it doesn't even bother you anymore

* you are spending your friday or saturday night typing or reading an e-mail list like this one

* you are carrying on a romance with someone you met through a chat page and you have never even seen or talked to this person

* you have ever had this DEEP THOUGHT by Jon Foote, what happens to all the slips of paper and bus. cards that people get but never bother to call the person's #. i visualize that they reside on a far away planet and have evolved to the point that they have a phone system far more complex than ours and spend every waking hour of their day talking on the phone to each other. in addition, they have formed their own class structure.....bus. cards are the upper class, paper is middle class, and napkins are the lower class

* valentine's day becomes the most depressing display of affection that has ever existed in the world

* you get up the nerve to ask out your crush for a date and they reply by giving the date on the calendar

* your mother compares all your boyfriends/girlfriends to your ex

* you ask someone for a date and they reply with the word BUT somewhere in their answer

* you have ever gone out with someone you didn't like, just to get a date with someone else that you did.....this is working on that principle that when you have a boyfriend/girlfriend all these people come out of the woodwork and you wonder why were none of these eligible attractive people interested in me last week when i wasn't seeing anyone

* if you have ever been the victim of someone who used the above method to get a date

* you have ever participated in cybersex

* you agree that most of these statements reflect your love life