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Dax Montana

Hunting for the Finer Things of Life

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Saturday, June 21, 2003

I'm Hungry

I have been dieting like crazy. It's that Biggest Losers thing. No food, No alcohol, No fun. I think I'll eat a Huge Philly Cheesesteak Sandwich and have a Chocolate Milkshake. Just Damn!

posted by Dax Montana 4:48:05 PM

Bill O’Reilly…

…Is full of shit. Juan Gato said it best.

“Everyone is having a lot of fun with that Bill O'Reilly chum, but I don't know why anyone is surprised. It falls perfectly in line with this supposed right-winger's pattern. 1. Overstate a problem. 2. Declare it out of control. 3. Because it is out of control, the federal government must step in. 4. Express wishes that it didn't have to be this way. That's how he always does it. His solution to every problem is federal control and where federal control has failed, he wants it cleaned out, but not ended. He's always been a big-government nanny. The fact that he yelled about Clinton doesn't change that.”

I like his show and that’s just it. It’s a show. From time to time I might glean some insight on some topic. I’m really just looking to be entertained. The latest item to set me off was the home school parents who refused to let the State test their kids. The story was the first thing to set me off. However, Bill O’Big Government compounded my fury using the above stated pattern.

1. Home schooling without Government oversight will lead to Anarchy. 2. Parents will abuse lack of Government control if these parents get their way. 3. Government is helping to protect kids from neglectful parents.

Thanks Juan Gato for summing it all up.


posted by Dax Montana 3:12:07 AM

4 Days and Counting...

...Until the end of my self imposed sobriety. The gang is planning a huge Drunk Fest to celebrate my success. The thing is I'm having dreams of drinking thus breaking my vow. Last night, I dreamt that I was at a party and I was talked into drinking directly from a Keg 'o Beer. Just Damn! 100 days is longer than I thought!

posted by Dax Montana 8:58:23 PM

I Feel Safer…

…Just knowing that Credit Card security measures are so stricly enforced. From time to time I have to sign the Boss’s signature on a check. Not that I’ll try any of those methods, but it seems that my not so good forgery attempts have never raised an eyebrow at the bank. It makes me wonder what I can get away with. Just Damn!


posted by Dax Montana 5:34:33 PM

Dog and Pony Show

Today was my yearly work review. Just Damn! I had been dreading this day for many weeks. It’s the event where all the Owners and the Director, sit around and in turn take a big swipe at my job performance. They say it will only last about thirty minutes. In fact, it always turns into an hour and a half slug match where I get to sit with both hands tied behind my back. In the last, five minutes of the slugfest, I get my turn for any rebuttal. However, everyone has to go tend to whatever they have planned and since we ran long, whatever I might have said is lost.

I walked out to the big table, greeted everyone, and then sat at the appointed hot seat. First, I was told about the changes in the bonus program. Basically, we weren’t getting one. Then I was read the evaluation from the Director. Instead of a big swing, he took a little swipe. The kind of hit a buddy might give you in the shoulder. I guess I have enough dirt on him to warrant a kind review. Then the owners took their turn at pointing out some minor flaw in performance. Overall, it wasn’t so bad. All those days dreading the review wasted. All said and done, I ended up with a 7.94% increase in salary. Just Damn!


posted by Dax Montana 5:08:13 PM

Random Observations

I saw a police car today. Normally that doesn’t get me excited. However, this crusier was on the back of a flatbed tow truck. For unexplained reasons, I had to smile.

On the same trip, I also happened to notice an empty Gwinnett County Transit bus. That didn’t make me happy. Every time I see one of those busses its empty. It just shows a waste of my tax dollars. Just another government program that isn’t working.

The non-grass in the yard needs to be cut. I don’t have grass, just some green leafy stuff that grows ten times faster.


posted by Dax Montana 4:44:58 PM

It’s a Southern Thing

I don’t expect you to understand. I’m a day late, but in good conscience I must post this picture. I’ve also added Rebel Yell to the Blogroll.




posted by Dax Montana 4:10:21 AM

7 Days…

…Left in my self imposed sobriety. It’s hard for me to believe that I haven’t had a drink in 93 days. I know that these last few days will go by swiftly and smoothly. The gang at work is planning a huge drunk fest on day 101. Speaking of 101, Wild Turkey on the rocks is just what the Doctor ordered for this blogger. The best part of this accomplishment is the pile of cold hard cash due to me from all the non-believers who bet I wouldn’t make it. Now they want me to give up coffee for 100 days. Fuck that! Alcohol is easy compared to the life giving java. Just Damn!


posted by Dax Montana 3:54:19 AM

The Comb-Over

Phillip Coons asks important questions about this fashion faux pas.



Just Damn!

posted by Dax Montana 1:49:29 AM

Evil is as Evil Does

I enjoy being somewhat evil. Well, wicked is more appropriate I think. Yea, I’m quite pleased with myself with my latest wicked plan. The “You Bastard!” from Acidman was priceless. I’m still laughing. I just need to spread the word to The Grouchy Old Cripple who keeps posting pictures of cute kitties and puppies. I’m almost inspired to give my Blog a “hook” or gimmick. I’ll lurk around the Blogosphere, seeking Bloggers not so hidden fears, then exploit them for my wicked pleasure and hit counter. I am one sick fuck.

I think my evil influence has spread to my wife. The lovely and talented Priscilla is a typical no nonsense motherly type. She keeps our home and tends to the children. She won’t put up with to much crap from the kids or me. That’s why her actions tonight caught me totally off-guard.

The lightning flickers across the night sky followed by the rolling thunder. The kids are huddled around me listening to the bedtime story. There is nothing like a good rendering of “Fox with Socks” on a stormy night. The lightning flashes and the thunder rolls. A loud scraping sound like a corpse clawing at its coffin echoes through the room. All eyes dart toward the outside door. An eerie silence fills the room followed by more insidious thunder. I can feel the children’s heartbeats quicken. With the next clap of thunder, the door swings wide open. Rain pounds the deck and the shrill scream of a banshee fills the dark night sky. Oh the horror! The children scream and cry and jump into my arms as the rain drenched monster jumps through the darkened doorway.

I never laughed so hard in my life. My frightened children clawing my skin as they hold on, while their rain soaked mom lays on the floor laughing. The looks on frightened children’s faces are indeed priceless. They will never go to sleep tonight. My son was a little pissed though. He picked up his light saber and immediately proceeded to “kill” the momster. I think Priscilla has been hanging around me too long.


posted by Dax Montana 1:36:50 AM

Just Damn!

ISP has been down all damn day. It IS time for a change.

posted by Dax Montana 9:52:47 PM

Linkage

Today is a good day to catch up on some past due Gratuitous Linkage.

Dizzy Girl has added me to her Blogrolls. She is a fellow Georgia Blogger from Savannah.

Loco is another Blogger using Pmachine.

Last Man Dancing posted about the many Hats of Dax as well as my long departed Turtle.

Robert Goodwin has moved off Blogger. I think he’s happy now.

The Ladies over at Right We Are finally added me to their Blogroll. I think it happened sometime during the Great Rat Race.

Thank you


posted by Dax Montana 2:51:58 PM

Hillbilly Wedding Part II

Yesterday my buddy Kevin got hitched. In typical hillbilly fashion, the Bluegrass band played the Wedding March. Big Fun was had by all,especially at the covered dish supper!
Here's a few pictures of the event.









posted by Dax Montana 12:20:19 PM

Father's Day

Wishing all you fellow fathers a great day. I was treated to Omelets, Biscuits, and Coffee. Unfortunately, I have to work later today. Just Damn!


posted by Dax Montana 12:06:38 PM