"You don't write because you want to say something.
You write because you've got something to say."
- F. Scott Fitzgerald

In order to lower the cost of operating our Greenville Chapter website, we now have a new URL (a.k.a. "web address.") The new URL is:

Please change your bookmarks accordingly.

Phil Arnold has graciously offered to purchase and replace some fluorescent light bulbs in our meeting room. We will pass a hat at the September "First Thursday" meeting - a dollar from each member will cover the cost. Thanks, Phil!

Bob Strother has been published twice this month. The first article of three on "Regionalism" was published in the statewide newsletter of the South Carolina Association of Regional Councils. Bob also had an article published in the on-line trade journal NADO Research Foundation Regional Development Digest.

Pat Stewart also announced that she will have two items published soon. One is a savings tip published in the Summer 2005 American Saver Newsletter. She received a $50 EE Series Bond as payment. The second item is a story about safety in the workplace in the "Measure Twice, Cut Once" column of the On the Job newsletter, a quarterly publication for professional contractors by Grainger. For this piece she received a MagLite Solitaire flashlight. Her reaction: "I'll be rich before long!"

Addendum to last month's news about Gene Fehler's new book Goblin Giggles: A Ghastly Lift-the-Flap Book - Little Simon (the publisher) ordered a initial print run of 35,000!! Now, that's big news.

The SCWW Writers Conference will be held on October 14-16, 2005. Details can be found on the SCWW website (http://www.scwriters.com/2005)

Registration for the conference should be completed by September 1 if you want to take advantage of the Early Bird Discount. You can access a registration form from the statewide SCWW website.

Pat Stewart read a short but funny story called "On the Job" that could have been a tragedy. She wrote about an experience her husband Jack endured when he worked for Armour and Company, a meat packing conglomerate in St. Joseph Missouri. The episode took place in 1956 in the plant where Jack was taking measurements to replace shafts in the hog dehairing machine. The shafts drove rubber beaters which flailed the hair off the dead hogs. A coworker, unaware that Jack was at work in the machine switched it on. Jack received a good licking with the rubber beaters and emerged thoroughly spanked but with all his hair intact. Pat reports that at 70 Jack still has most of his crop.

Everyone enjoyed the story but concurred that it could be made even better through further elaboration.

Pat also read a couple of entries from her compilation of "Money Saving Tips". She recommends avoiding battery operated toys as gifts because the batteries expire quickly and are expensive. Kid powered toys get kids moving and thinking, she says.

Pat adds that sharing large entrees at restaurants cuts the cost right in half. Another cost saver is to share and recycle magazines, and when a purchase is necessary, be sure to use the bargain coupons that arrive in the mail or in newspapers.

Pat obviously knows how to make a penny squeal or is it squeak? Whatever -- bravo Pat! If we were all so frugal, we would not need to ask you for a loan. How about it?

Seriously, Pat, thanks for all the tomatoes. They were delish. Frugal and generous, what a great combination!

After hearing Ray Giddens' story, "The Cowbirds' Song" I went to my Golden Guide bird book to look up the cowbird. I was aware of this bird's "Parasitism", but had not heard that word before. It got a few comments from the group, but I liked it. We suggested that he define it or take it out. I'd define and leave it in.

One birder said he should include the bird's irridescent feathers and brown head in his description of the bird.

The listeners gave Ray a few technical hints. Stay with one tense. He had present in the first paragraph and used past in the second paragraph.

The cowbird would take "laziness to new heights, not depths."

Ray convinced me that even a parasite like the cowbird has a place in nature. He ends his story with this sentence: "If I'm incapable of accurately judging even a bird, I am certainly incapable of judging you or me."

He makes a case for bird watching and seems to attract a variety with his treats at the feeders. I'll watch for this bird at my feeder and hope he hasn't crowded out my favorite cardinal couple.

During the First Thursday meeting, Steve Heckman shared "Guns and Crabcakes", a humorous short story about a confrontation in a bar over a misleadingly billed order of crabcakes. The parallels drawn by the protagonist's better half between the crabcake incident and a ninety-one-year-old woman incarcerated for flying off the handle and shooting her boyfriend are funny, and ring true - this sounds like conversations I've had with my husband.

Everyone who voiced an opinion seemed to enjoy the scene. Several specific comments were that it held our interest, and felt like reality. As is his custom, Steve gave us virtually nothing to be critical of. There was some brief discussion over the last line - at least one person felt that it should be deleted, while others felt that it ended the story on just the right note.

Thanks, Steve, for sharing another entertaining piece!

Our group usually reaches a consensus quickly and easily but the continuation of Sarah Cureton's novel Breathe is another story. Battle lines were drawn with the men on one side and the women on the other. At least all agree that the dialog is realistic and well done.

The men allege that Sarah is over-writing -- Hah. I should have such a problem -- that the narrative is too literary for a commercial novel. My definition of over-writing is that the reader pays more attention to the words than to the plot or character development, such as "... the conversations merged to make the single muddy sound of resigned festivity." The women defend the writing as good imagery.

Furthermore, the men allege that the five pages contain too many different scenes. The women counter that moving from the bar table, to the restroom, back, and out into the street is one continuous scene. I think this argument reduces to the age-old scenario of women going to the restroom in herds without breaking their stream of conversation and laughing upon their return at jokes the men never heard -- and probably never will hear.

There is a further division of the group into the nerds who are comfortable with the phrase "Chem-E coterie" and the English majors. Last night I read a novel containing the word "entropy" used appropriately. Nerds arise!

As a graduate of two "universities" of other Southern states, I personally find the juxtaposition of literary overwriting with a "cow college" bar scene to be unsettling.

I congratulate Sarah for an interesting story and her stimulation of the group. Last month's critic requested more dialog and Sarah delivered so I await next month's installment with eager anticipation.

Möbiustrip is not much of a history buff - I normally take my history in small, fictional doses - and in Chapter 1 of Widow Dunn, Jim McFarlane lays the groundwork for an enjoyable historical fiction.

The temperament of our heroine, Widow Dunn nÈe Laura Ann Thompson, is immediately apparent. The chapter is packed with her musings about the goings-on around her as she navigates an increasingly hostile world with strength and resolve. She makes her contempt clear in thought and action, pressing through adversity with haughty dignity.

With a subtle hand, Jim shapes Laura Ann's inward motivations for her outward disposition. Widow Dunn approaches the courthouse - "an intimidating building" - with open loathing for the carpetbaggers who enjoy the "fear" they generate in their "victims." She's a civilized lady in a world that's sliding into relative barbarism around her. She's frightened, and fierce as a result.

It will be interesting to watch this drama unfold as Widow Dunn musters the courage to do what she must to survive. Way to go, Jim.

SCWW is blessed with more than our normal share of talented new blood lately. One of that new batch of confident and clever writers is Phil Yanov, who read the first few pages of "Touched By Buddha," a coming-of-age religious Odyssey about Phil's personal journey through most of the major religions of the world. Phil is already developing a reputation in the group as a humorist. Speaking of his home's collection of religious icons, he writes "Just to make sure all of the religious bases are covered, I have a figure of Elvis on the mantle." Later he tells the story of his step-father's ban on eating pork for one year -- the period of time it took him to read from the Old Testament ban on pork to the lifting of the ban in Revelations. Phil wished he had encouraged his step-father to read faster. While "Touched By Buddha" is not essentially a humorous piece, Phil knows how to leaven with the well-placed quip. More important, he knows not to over do it. The biggest critiquers' sticking point was an abrupt transition from the story about eating pork back to the middle of a discussion about the Ram Dass and Be Here Now. Phil left us with a good hook for the next chapter about a personal trauma, the retirement of his barber.

Phil Arnold casts his marketing net beyond Elvis National Magazine and his own Elvisblog with a query letter to the Spartanburg Herald-Journal. His hook: the upcoming 50th anniversary of Mr. Presley's only performance in Spartanburg. Bulldog applauds Phil for his creative pitch and thinks that the query is off to a good start: Phil gets to the point right off the bat and he establishes his credentials as the Upstate's - nay, one of the world's - leading authorities on E.P. Bulldog does agree with the points raised around the table: (1) Phil should volunteer to write sidebars as well as the feature article, rather than suggest staff writers take that task, (2) he should not raise the question of compensation until the editor makes the assignment, and (3) he should offer a few more specifics about Elvis and the career-making tour to pique interest and to demonstrate that he is, indeed, the writer for this piece.

Phil also shared "Elvira and Elvis," which appeared on Elvisblog. In yet one more story from his unending supply, Phil relates the encounter the Mistress of the Dark had with the King of Rock 'n' Roll in her Las Vegas showgirl days. The group's feedback centered on the confusion created by Phil's citing of his source, an article in the San Francisco Chronicle, and who the "she" is at one point-Elvira (a.k.a. Cassandra Peterson) or the reporter.

Bulldog wishes Phil well as he makes this pitch and hopes it's the first of many successful bids to write similar pieces for papers in the other cities Elvis toured 50 years ago.

Marie Newman entertained the group with the opening pages of her "Couch Tour." A breathless comic farce, "Couch Tour" quickly introduced the group to a rat eating cat, the eponymous horsehair couch and an aging closet queen. Marie's material is comic to the core and even when it turns a bit morbid, you can't help laughing. It's a guilty pleasure.

Once the laughs were accounted for the group descended upon the construction of the piece. The jokes came so hard and fast that they left us without time to laugh.

By page five we have been introduced to so many people, locations, and situations that we simply couldn't keep track of them all. We advised her to take her time and let the story breathe.

"Couch Tour" is sassy and full of attitude. It's characters are dealt with so warmly that we are absolutely sure they are real. I look forward to a deeper treatment of this very funny piece.

Nancy Parker is such a dedicated and loyal part of this group. Many times she comes to meetings with no work of her own to read, but the rest of us benefit from her presence as she shares her great knowledge of proper writing. For the first time in several months, she brought something to the last meeting. It was "Heart of a Child," the script dialogue from a stage presentation for a church audience.

This reviewer thinks Nancy knows her intended audience and accomplished what she set out to do quite well. There were suggestions from the room about the statements made by the only character, Jesse, a thirteen-year-old boy: he should have been more fearful about becoming a man, he didn't sound like a thirteen-year-old, he should have been more emotional and less formal. To me, all this was just quibbling. I believe Nancy's intended audience will flow with her dialogue and never think once about these points.

All of us have to sort through the critiquing we receive at meetings and decide what to use and what to discard. It will be interesting for me to find out how much of "Heart of a Child" Nancy changed.

Bob Strother continued reading from his novel, Love Among the Greeks. After their argument the night before, Randy returns Johnny's pin, and the following weeks are filled with stomach-clenching emotions and upheaval for Johnny. He and Randy try unsuccessfully to avoid each other. Johnny asks Rivers if Randy ever talks about him. Rivers tells him he should date other girls, but Johnny says he's just not ready.

Sarah Cureton read the next selection from her novel, Breathe. In a flashback, Mark is confronted by an acquaintance of Raquel's nicknamed "Cheese." Mark and Raquel walk to the Chmical Engineering building, where "twilight shaded the sky to a deep grey in harmony with the granite fascia of the building. <<Bite me, Steve Heckman!!>>" They attend a meeting about a school computer project due the next day. Raquel insists on going to her job at a club as scheduled, but returns at 2 AM to help.

In Elizabeth Eldering's story "Party Trains", a group of seventh graders attend a birthday party on a train headed for some unknown (to them) destination. They are on a scavenger hunt where the clues reveal their destination. The kids end up at a Sioux Indian Sun Dance ceremony and the reader is asked, "Where did we end up?"

Marie Newman continued her short story called "Couch Tour." The narrator, Toni, is staying with her eccentric Uncle Paul. Paul's cat Zorge has brought home a dead rat, and Toni steps on its remains with her bare foot. While cleaning off her toes, she learns that Uncle Paul's partner Ed has died. They attend his wake, where several people deliver eulogies. The cat delivers another rat, which Paul unknowingly "pops like a zit" under his rocking char rocker, causing Mrs. Davenport to faint.

"The Private Burning" by Kevin Coyle finds Richard Nixon, an FBI agent, at the apartment of actor Ronald Reagan in this alternate history tale. Nixon is drinking, and hears piano music in his head so loud that he has trouble hearing Reagan. Nixon interrogates Reagan about his current girlfriend, Nancy Davis. He slanders her so badly that Reagan finally ends it by smashing Nixon in the nose, knocking him flat on his back. In a daze, Nixon sees his dead brother Harold flanked by their parents and asks them, "Why couldn't you love me, too, like you loved him?" As Nixon comes back to his senses, Reagan declares, "No more of this spy business." Nixon agrees, thinking, "I have a better idea."

John Migacz took us into "Dark Alleys" in the style of Mickey Spillane. A retired gangster named Charlie asks the narrator, whom he hates, to help with one last heist. The narrator does the job, but is almost killed by Charlie's thugs afterward. He confronts Charlie in his office and offers Charlie a pistol with one bullet so that Charlie can "do the right thing." When Charlie tries to put the bullet into the narrator, it proves that his suspicions are correct, and the narrator finishes the job himself, with the final declaration, "Sorry, Charlie."

Ray Giddons finished up by reading to us about "Cow Doctoring in August." Their farmer neighbor asks Ray and his son Kenny to take care of her livestock while she goes away for a few days. Ray has a hard time giving a calf its shots through heat and mud, not just once, but twice in two days. Later at the neighbor's house, things don't go much better with six cats and two dogs. Ray's comment to his son: "I'm damned glad that I studied to be a plant doctor and not a vet."

• Thursday, September 1 - First Thursday Meeting, 6:00 p.m. at The Open Book
• Tuesday, September 20 - Third Tuesday Meeting, 6:00 p.m. at The Open Book

All genres welcome at both meetings. Suggested limit for reading selections is five double-spaced, typed pages, although longer selections may be possible if time permits.

The Open Book, 110 S Pleasantburg Drive, Greenville, SC

Printed Matters is the newsletter of the Greenville Chapter of South Carolina Writers Workshop.

Please forward critiques, comments, ideas, and submissions to Printed Matters Editor Marcia Migacz at marciamigacz@prtcnet.com.

Thanks to our contributing writers and news reporters:
Ray Giddens, Pat Stewart, Susan Boyer, Jim McFarlane, Sarah Cureton, Steve Heckman, Nancy Parker, Phil Yanov, and Phil Arnold

Copyright 2005 by Marcia Migacz, Editor. Contributing writers retain all rights to their work.