Kevin Coyle is the first winner of the moonShine review short-story contest. His story, "Ish Kabibble," will be published in the premier issue of moonShine review, a new literary journal out of Charlotte, NC. Kevin expects the publication to be available in time for the July SCWW meeting. Way to go, Kevin!

Our SCWW Board of Directors representative, Leland Beaudrot, mentioned that the Conference Co-chairs, Frances Pearce and Sandra Johnson, are finishing up the last of their invitations for the conference faculty and will announce the faculty list soon (hopefully at the June board meeting.)

Registration for the conference is not yet open; when it does become available, you will be able to access a registration form from the statewide SCWW website. To qualify for the early bird discount, registration must be completed on-line with payment via PayPal by August 31st, or your registration accompanied by a check to cover the entire registration fee must be postmarked by August 31st.

"The nonprofit North Carolina Writers' Network is one of the largest statewide literary service organizations in the country. The Network connects, educates, and promotes writers at all stages of development, from beginners to pros, through workshops, conferences, competitions, a critiquing service, and a summer writers-in-residence program." (Quote taken from their website.)

The N.C. Writers' Network has an online calendar which lists upcoming literary deadlines and events of statewide (North Carolina) and national interest. Visit their website at http://www.ncwriters.org and check out the calendar at http://www.ncneighbors.com/main.wsi?group_id=284

Please forward critiques, comments, ideas, and submissions to Printed Matters Editor Marcia Migacz at marciamigacz@prtcnet.com.

The next meetings of the Greenville Chapter of SCWW are as follows:

• Thursday, June 2 - First Thursday Meeting, 6:00 p.m. at The Open Book
• Tuesday, June 21 - Third Tuesday Meeting, 6:00 p.m. at The Open Book

All genres welcome at both meetings. Suggested limit for reading selections is five double-spaced, typed pages, although longer selections may be possible if time permits.

Into her second session, Susan Boyer has a good murder mystery underway with strong family dynamics between sisters Liz and Esmeralda and their mother Carolyn that should be fun to watch from a safe distance. We haven't met the father/husband yet but I already feel sorry for him.

A lively discussion of technical issues reminded me that we are so good at recognizing them because we are constantly fighting to control them in our own writing.

Susan begins with the point of view of sister Liz, but suffers inconsistencies with the dog's thoughts and knowing what Liz' mother is thinking and smelling on the other end of the telephone. Also Susan switches to first person and italics when revealing Liz' thoughts. Until one's first best-seller is published, it is safest to stay with third person simple past for both narrative and thoughts.

There are too many rules and many of them are contradictory. Nevertheless, our group likes to begin with the action--in this case the ending of a conversation and the slamming of the phone on page 2. We also believe in showing not telling and certainly in not doing both, such as Liz changing her tactics. Also if one does and thinks, then one should think first and then do.

We all strive to give each character a distinctive voice. Carolyn speaks in long, refined sentences with sugary innuendo. Liz mixes long sentences with "sack of manure" phrases. What is unlikely is that each gets to say her long piece without interuption. They both get their fondness for long sentences from the author who needs to drop the ellipses and use more periods.

We agreed that the explanatory paragraph at the top of page 11 slowed down the mother/daughter telephone argument but we were undecided upon whether was good or bad.

Our best wishes to Susan as she strives to maintain this lively pace throughout an entire novel.

There was a lot to like in the latest chapter of John Migacz's Second Chance, but it all paled in comparison to the showdown scene between Jolly and his aunt. Now and then, there's a crone like the vicious and greedy Aunt Selma, (think Wicked Witch of the West) but it's seldom we see her ugly portrait painted in such fine detail. In particular, this reviewer liked 'her smug-ugly smile' and 'her coloring changed from red to almost blue.'

If Jolly was unhappy, but resigned to his drudgery and tongue-lashings, that all changed when Aunt Selma decided to include his former adoptive mother, Martha, in her nightly invective. Jolly's angry responses - "At least she had someone who wanted to give her a child." and "I don't see … anyone who would want to give you one." - bring out Selma's sadistic side, and she brings out a whip (or a belt, if you prefer.) This is where it really gets good.

Jolly quells Selma's enthusiasm by sinking the tines of a carving fork into the door jamb just inches from her face. 'It quivered for a moment then stilled. A small piece of greasy chicken slid down the wood frame.' Honestly, folks, if this had been a movie scene - the audience would be standing and applauding.

The reviewers were rowdy Thursday night, and discussion ranged from how Jolly was regarded in his new school environment to the appropriateness of the 'coriolis effect' to describe his emotional state. Suggestions included removing some of the foreshadowing of events and actions, removing some 'telling' that duplicated 'showing', and adding some 'reflection' from Jolly on his impulsive (but audience-pleasing) actions.

What happens next? Where will Jolly go? What will he do? Panama can't wait to find out - and he still hears the sproing! of the carving fork humming in his ears.

Robin Prince Monroe's novel Silent Glades is intended for a Middle School audience but the captivating story is one adults will enjoy and be able to discuss with their kids. Through her deaf protagonist, fourteen-year-old Nick, Robin has created a world seen, but not heard.

Nick's deafness has removed him from the most common form of human communication and he rightly feels shut out and frustrated. "I hate not knowing what's going on," establishes Nick's attitude on page one. Being deaf, a teenager, and new kid on the "hummock" doesn't supply Nick with happy feet. He has been uprooted to the Everglades with his folks who study endangered ecosystems. Moving from the mountains of North Carolina to the flat Florida 'Glades adds to Nick's feelings of separation.

Robin's technicolor visuals of the Everglades set a gorgeous background for her characters - "the grassy water shined silver as new aluminum foil" and "a blue heron stood on spindly legs, its neck bent like a shepherd's crook." When Fatz feels he has to squint his eyes to keep out the bright sun while reading - that's excellent scene setting.

The table felt that the story details were good without being overdone and the writing at the correct reading level. Most of the discussion concerned grammar, the use of italics when writing a person's thoughts and the correct use of tense when using flashbacks. The consensus was that in a first person story attribution tags aren't needed for thoughts, but consistency is key. The group also felt more information about Chris' dad leaving was necessary.

Fatz can relate to Nick (most people will say that's because they're at the same maturity level) and he's looking forward to seeing how Robin evens out Nick's life, and discovering more about the River of Grass.

During the first Thursday meeting, Bob Strother shared "Baby, Don't Say Don't," an engaging short story about a voluptuous fourteen-year-old named Zelma and her creative approach to mastering the art of kissing. Zelma enlists the help of her friend, Jeff - two years her junior, but mature for his age - and they make good use of their time and Jeff's mother's '54 Bel-Air after Wednesday night prayer meeting.

Judging by the chuckles, the group enjoyed the trip back to our teenage years - not to suggest that we all made out in the church parking lot, but who doesn't have some coming-of-age memory that this piece brought to mind? The discussion consisted primarily of suggestions of ways to clarify the flashback. While Bob used a dotted break on page four to indicate where the flashback ended, the consensus was that something was needed on page two to indicate where the flashback starts, and thus clearly separate it from the main story. There was also some discussion regarding the setting; some were confused at first by the fact that the characters were obviously in a car that they were not old enough to drive. After discussion, the majority of the group seemed to feel that this was appropriate for the way the story evolved, and it was explained early enough in the story that the reader was not left scratching his head. On a grammar note, there was discussion of Bob's use of the semi-colon, and its rules of usage.

I'm new to the group, and have only read two of Bob's pieces, but both have transported me back in time effortlessly. He obviously has a talent for evoking memories, which instantly makes the reader care about the characters. His dialogue is strong and natural, and his characters are real. I'm looking forward to whatever he brings us next.

Kevin Coyle took us back to a time when actors were presidents and presidents were FBI agents? How cool was that. His research was impeccable and his dialog strong and natural. Some of us felt his Reagan needed to be more charming and affable. And we wanted to see Wyman and Williams speak up sooner and interact more. But we all enjoyed the "historical fiction with license" and we want to see more.

Steve Heckman tried his hand at limericks, those humorous five-line poems along the lines of "There once was a man from Nantucket. . . ." Of the eight limericks he read, seven had to do with current events. Perhaps it's because I'm not as much of a "news junkie" as Steve, but with the exception of the limerick about Michael Jackson's current legal troubles, I didn't find them all that funny. That's not necessarily meant as a criticism of Steve's work - on the internet, I just waded through what were supposed to be the funniest political cartoons of the week and thought they were all flops, too. It's the subject matter that's at fault, if you ask me.

My favorites of Steve's limericks were the two that remained true to the spirit of the art form: his "Jacko" limerick and the one about the old man whose hand fell asleep. I won't go into the details here-suffice it to say that both limericks were "blue" in content. While some of our group winced at these two items, the fact is that the whole point of limericks is to tell "dirty little stories." I'd bet that most people, no matter how prudish, have a rough idea about the physical attributes of the infamous Man from Nantucket. That this particular limerick has been passed around for generations shows the stamina, if you will, of limericks in general. Steve's limericks about Jacko and the unfortunate old man with bad timing deserve to be around-or last-just as long.

If Jim Mcfarlane wanted to make his readers uncomfortable, he succeeded with his excerpt from his historical/adventure/religious/family novel, Penelope Good As Dead. Anne is a young woman searching the battlefield at Edgehill in 1642. With her mother, Susan, she looks for the remains of her father, her brother, and her betrothed, all killed in the battle. Jim assaults the reader with powerful images, sounds, and smells of death as the two women weave their way through mounds of bodies, horse carcasses, and abandoned weapons. We feel their horror and pain turn to numbness at the overwhelming attack on the senses. Yet Anne shows her inner strength in her calm analysis of the patterns of the bodies and weapons, to discern the most likely places to find their loved ones. Der Tubemeister thinks this is Jim's best work yet, and looks forward to more. The main suggestions by the critiquers related to Jim's penchant for stringing phrases together, as in "Anne stared at the soldier until it was no longer a man but a stranger, a stranger she had no feelings for, no longer a man but a statue, a lifeless statue, a thing of no consequence. Until she had no more feelings, no more tears, no more humanity." While this sort of stacking of phrases can be useful to add emphasis, Jim has employed it in several places in a five page reading, and that may be excessive. Overall, good work, Jim.

Limerick O' the Month
(apologies for the repetition to those of you who were at the third Tuesday meeting):

We may, or may not, be at home
And we can't, or won't, answer the phone
So you'll just have to leave
A message for Steve
Or Toni right after the tone

Energy was high at this Tuesday meeting, with nine attendees, eight of whom read selections.

Always willing to be first, John Kingsbury shared the beginning of a new novel named Exiting With Grace. John introduces us to three characters: Grace Pendleton, who is in a nursing home suffering from senile dementia; her husband, "Shirt" Pendleton, who loves Grace, but can't stand to be with her for more than an hour at a time; and Barbara Parker, a Furman University student hired by Shirt to keep Grace company and encourage her to talk, thus raising Grace's spirits and keeping her vaguely lucid. In this section, Shirt is teaching Barbara just how to manage a conversation with Grace.

Bob Strother continued reading from Love Among the Greeks. In this installment, Johnny talks to Rivers on the day after the toga party and is disappointed to learn that Rivers doesn't remember his daring rescue of her and that they will be leaving for home a day early. On Sunday, Johnny picks up his girlfriend Randy at the airport and promptly forgets all about Rivers in the passionate reunion that ensues.

The limericks just kept on coming as we explored more of Steve Heckman's current creative trend. The verses included commentary on the Waynesville Baptists who were expelled from their church for voting for John Kerry, and George Bush's picks for Supreme Court justices. The group's favorite was a limerick that is probably now the message on Steve's answering machine.

Kevin Coyle read part of a short story called "Beastly Numbers." Kevin cleverly intersperses episodes in the life of Sam, an eight-grader grappling with the physical and mental conflicts of coming of sexual age, with glimpses of Sam's increasingly frequent sessions in the confessional with Father O'Leary.

Jim McFarlane read a 5-page synopsis of his novel Penelope As Good As Dead which he intended to present to editors and agents at a writer's conference.

Low Country Boil continued as Susan Boyer described Liz Talbot's drive across South Carolina toward her childhood home of Stella Maris. Liz reflects upon her dog, her failed relationship, her grandmother, and growing up in Stella Maris. Her reverie is shattered as a SC State Highway Patrolman pulls her over and cautions her to slow down as a favor to his friend. His friend is Liz's over-protective brother, the Stella Maris Chief of Police.

For her first time reading, Sarah Cureton shared the beginning of her allegory Finding God Under the Rock. Sarah described the story as "Common man's search for Christ in contemporary Christianity." The tale, sub-titled "Leaving the Land of Dawm," is narrated by a man named Philip Common who finds himself on the Path in Dawm. He tells us the Eternian Legend, a Dawmian folk tale that deals with the anticipated return of the Prince.

John Migacz ended the meeting with his short story "Homecoming," the tale of an older woman trying to help a returning WWII soldier deal with the shadows of death that haunt him.

Just a note - The Board of Directors has asked us to verify members' names and addresses against the statewide list. To that end, sometime in the next month, members will receive an e-mail asking for confirmation of their personal information. Please respond promptly with a "Yes, it's OK," or a "No, here are my corrections" to Marcia Migacz. Reminders will also be sent to those members whose dues are not up to date.

Printed Matters is the newsletter of the Greenville Chapter, SCWW, which meets on the first Thursday and third Tuesday of each month at 6:00 p.m. at The Open Book, 110 S Pleasantburg Drive, Greenville, SC.

Thanks to our contributing writers and news reporters:
Jim McFarlane, Bob Strother, John Migacz, Susan Boyer, Robin Prince Monroe, Kevin Coyle, Steve Heckman, and Leland Beaudrot.

Copyright 2005 by Marcia Migacz, Editor. Contributing writers retain all rights to their work.