Yea for John K. An agent has asked to see 50 pages of Dying with Amanda. Hats off to you, John, for continuing your efforts to find a publisher. You inspire those of us who think the "wish system" is going to move our manuscripts from the desk drawer to publication. And another big Yea for Phil A. He is working on two assignments for the Elvis International fan magazine: he's converting a taped interview into a Q&A article; he's writing the intro for a new (best ever) Elvis photo book. Good work, Phil.

SCWW "family" news: We extend condolences to Leland and Steve. Leland's father and Steve's mother passed away recently. Your SCWW family wishes you comfort and peace during this time of loss. We congratulate Kevin Coyle who recently passed the SC Bar Exam. We wish John K well as he de-books his house and moves to smaller quarters. We look for the return of the many "old regulars" missing from the April meeting (Steve, Gene, Pat, Russ, Randy, Diane, and others) and we welcome the exciting energy of our "new regulars (Kevin, John, Kami, Cindy).

We'll have to send out the MAYDAY distress call if you miss our next meeting, 6:00 p.m., Thursday, May 1st at The Open Book. And don't forget to get your Anthology submissions in before the end of April.

Christine Nichols, a guest of Sue Renalt, shared "The Royal Commute" with us. This was a happy, light piece about a woman who feels like a princess as she walks to work each morning. Kami thought Christine made great use of personification with the "hollyhocks that swayed in the fresh breeze like a chorus line." Sue loved the recycle man who always winked and made the princess blush. Faye liked the fact that "even a princess must be punctual for work." Several people missed the fact that this wasn't about a real princess and thought that it could have been clarified better. Phil said that he was looking for more storyline and more development; he felt there were many unanswered questions.

"The Carolina Sun" shines on John Migacz in wonderful literary ways. It is always interesting to learn when a Yankee became a Good Old Boy. It happened to John when he patiently waited for a stranger to give traffic directions to a fellow who was lost. The image of a K turn was wonderful, but Pigg's don't do K-turns because they don't drive. Too short to see over the steering wheel according to the fellow at the DMV. John creates such a wonderful sense of place, I can imagine lying in the bed of his pickup soaking up the Carolina sun as we wait for the nice lady to give directions to the lost and confused man in the rusty pickup. This is another marvelous personal essay from the word processor of John.

Kevin Coyle's A Cool Dry Place continues to unfold with an interesting view into the world of gambling in the future and such things as insta-dry machines. I hadn't thought about whether there would be diplomatic immunity to the law of gravity, but I take Kevin's word that there isn't. This off beat humor, diplomatic immunity from gravity, is a hallmark of Kevin's work. Naming a boat the "Duchess of the Delta" is way cool. The only problem I have with this section of Kevin's novel is the gambling scene omits the famous concept of "a Pigg in a poke."

I would be afraid to have my mom and my wife out shopping, but this doesn't seem to bother the intrepid Phil Arnold. My shopping duo never returns with something as neat as "The Fabulous Mirror Vase." All they bring me is exhausted credit cards begging to be put into a glass of ice tea to cool off. As I listened to Phil read I just wondered what his dog, Bo, thinks of Beverly and Phil's mom out shopping and not bringing anything home for the loyal hound dog. I'm sure a reference to Bo's efforts to protect Beverly's flowers from rabbits would be a fitting inclusion in this personal essay. Of course, the reference to a hound dog would bring a reference to Elvis which would mark this as a classic Phil Arnold piece. The image of Phil having a "soggy male mind" was picturesque. I often have a soggy mind when I try to write my column. This lawyer I live with claims it's a sloshed mind, but I claim it is soggy. So there you shyster! Whenever Phil writes about his wife he has so much real affection in his work. This is courageous writing in the hate the spouse society we live in.

Dance Of The Water Spider is such a wonderful title, the Professor is surprised Cindy Kay didn't put it at the top of her pass-arounds. We were treated to the first three pages of her drama about a kidnapping. This is a work with promise, and the group offered ideas to assist in reaching it's potential. Use action, not narrative, to tell the story of Max's death. Tell us more about the characters early, how old, etc. Correct a couple of confusing sentences full of her's and she's. Let's hope the next installment will be as creative. The gall stone collection is a very clever idea.

Kami Kinard brought us a healthy serving of something often missing from this group's diet. Poems - we don't get enough poems, but she gave us five. Members were quick to point out their personal favorites, and suggestions for improvement were minimal. One thing for sure, the Professor knows Kami can be a great poet. "Open" shows she has mastered the sense and the form preferred by poetry lovers.

Faye Tollison's heroine stands on her apartment ledge contemplating suicide. The drama takes a decided turn, though, when from this bird's eye vantage she witnesses a murder in the alley below. And - stalking music, here...Faye builds suspense deliciously - the murderer sees her. She can abort her own suicide attempt; but can she escape the desperate, ruthless killer? We all know that she does. Otherwise, the story could not have been written in the first person. But, who cares? The suspense is real; her fear is real; the threat is real; and Faye convinces her readers that the heroine is in mortal danger. She hooked me and kept me on the edge of my seat. (Now, if we could just figure out what to do about the phone problem: Leland reminded us that bad guys can't simply cut a wire and disable your phone lickety split. Never mind, I'm sure Faye can deal with that.) A good anthology submission.

Leland invites us into his creative universe and lets us eavesdrop as he exchanges playful repartee with Leia, the muse. Leia is naughty, dramatic, sexy, playful, punning, free-spirited, frustrating and fun. She's also opinionated and resourceful. She is all the things we need in a muse when we sit down in front of blank paper. She's got the costumes, the manila files, the facts, and the history (she even knows her Bible stories). Like all our muses, though, she is a blessing and a curse: she can inspire and deflate us all in a single breath. We enjoyed this glimpse into Leland's creative world and agreed he has a well-crafted and entertaining story. Send this one to the anthology.

John Kingsbury presented Chapter One of Trailer Trash, awing us once again with humor and down-to-earth situations in life. This first chapter introduces us to Jake Marshall and a day in the life of a man down on his luck and striving to survive. Jake manages to maintain a wry sense of humor, which John brings out very well with dialog that has nice rhythm and beat. We are looking forward to the second chapter.

We have all heard the saying "show, don't tell," but most of use have read published fiction by well paid authors like Tom Clancy and John Grisham that have lines that tell rather than show. Like most writing rules, they are more guideline than rule because there are situations where telling is what the story requires.
For example, writing in third person we have this line: "Bobby was crying because he was lonely." Now in first person the line would read: "I was crying because I was lonely." Because the narrator knows in first person why he was crying this line is less offensive of the show, don't tell rule. In these examples, Bobby is an eleven year old boy and he doesn't really know why he is crying. This eliminates interior monologue and a conversation with, for example, his mother as methods of communicating why Bobby is crying. Logical dialogue starting with an inquiry into the reason for the tears would make the crying worse and most likely trigger a fight. Of course, one of the characters in the book could comment that he was lonely, but that is really a guess, he could have broken his arm instead. Just conjecture and it would take a lot of space to communicate Bobby is lonely that could be better used to advance the actual story. It is just to difficult to formulate a method of showing the reason for Bobby's tears so telling becomes the means of communication.

Printed Matters is the newsletter of the Greenville Chapter, SCWW, which meets on the first Thursday of each month at 6:00 p.m. at The Open Book, 110 S Pleasantburg Drive, Greenville, SC.

Thanks to our contributing writers and news reporters: Marcia Migacz, John Kingsbury, Phil Arnold, Sue Renault and Faye Tollison.

Copyright 2003 by Leland Beaudrot, Editor. Contributing writers retain all rights to their work.