We really had a "herd" around the table last time. Word must be getting out that this is where the wordsmiths gather to hone their tools. If this keeps up, we'll have to book the Bi-Lo Center for meetings. Many of our regulars were with us, some after an absence of many months (we missed ya!), and a couple of new faces showed up: Soren King and Raymon Presson. Welcome guys! Come back and bring your friends, and maybe an extra table.

With so many voices to be heard at reading time, we didn't share much news, but the recent conference got good reviews. John Migacz, one of our newer members, in particular spoke highly of the outstanding experience. And we later remarked at the progress evident in his own work.

Once again, election time is here for South Carolina Writers Workshop. South Carolina Writers Workshop is an all volunteer organization. Without dedicated, hard working and loyal board members, we would not be able to sponsor the annual writer's conference. To accomplish the tasks necessary for our success, we must have board members who will rise to the occasion. Nominations are due no later than november 30, 2002 to:

Barbie Perkins-Cooper
641 Palmetto St.
Mt. Pleasant SC 29464

barbiepc@bellsouth.net

We're looking forward to your "presence" at out next meeting, 6:00 p.m., Thursday, December 5th at The Open Book. Don't be naughty and miss it!

A critic is a man created to praise greater men than himself but he is never able to find them. - R. Le Galienne

Sue Renault shared her short story about the value of children. She cleverly contrasted the lifestyle of her newborn granddaughter, Alexandra Rose, to that of children seen at a Leprosy Camp in India. Her point, counter-point technique was powerful and poignant and her closing was especially thought provoking. For me, her opening descriptions of the "skin camp" elicited an immediate and total mental image. Sue achieved her point, counter-point by the use of italics and the only suggestion offered by our group was that she use quotes for her doctor's dialogue to avoid confusion. Keep up the good work, Sue. ClaraBelle believes your writing may change the world one reader at a time.

Nancy Parker read a few pages from her untitled short story about Wendy, a young woman in a May-December marriage. She deftly revealed Wendy's innermost thoughts by describing a recent birthday party where Wendy encountered, en masse, all of her in-laws. I enjoyed her self-deprecating humor and liked Wendy almost immediately. Nancy has a nice voice and a talent for slightly sarcastic, vivid descriptions like, "She was medium everything - medium short, medium fat, medium brown hair - and carried a medium sized gift-wrapped box." Many in our group needed to know more about Wendy right away. They wanted to know where the story was going and suggested more framework, perhaps the immediate introduction of conflict. Several men assumed the reading audience to be female. Some thought there were too many characters introduced too quickly. A few of us enjoyed the writing style as is. ClaraBelle declares, Different strokes for different folks. Keep at it Nancy. There appears to be a definite reading niche for your work.

Diane Barr presented the Prologue to her book, Feast of St. James the Apostle. Good set up for the accident that would lead to the demise of Pope Stanislaus, but a number of the group felt there was too much going through his mind during his last moments. Also, it was questioned whether or not a character could describe his own death scene. Watch those POVs! The point was made about words of which many people (those of us who are not Catholic) would not have knowledge of definition and whether or not a glossary would be appropriate. Decisions! Diane was given several things to think about. Overall, this is a great start to a very good story. Keep it going, Diane.

Cam Holzer, Holy Cross Episcopal Church, presented to the group a sermon which consisted of a series of stories. There was a tendency toward repetition, and by cutting out the repetitions, the sermon could be shortened. Got to keep the audience awake, Cam. Warning! Watch those tenses. Consistency of active tense is the name of the game.

Pat Stewart reads The Wall Street Journal and is reminded of Jesse James. Of course, Elvis once reminded Pat of Jesse, too. In the present case, the Journal article was about bank robbery, so Pat's Jesse fixation is understandable. What caught Pat's eye, and ours, was a banking consultant's recommendation that banks treat a stickup "like any other withdrawal," and more pointedly, that the teller's job is to "help me rob the bank." This got Pat to imagining old Jesse with Dockers instead of a linen coat, Wal-Mart bags instead of a gunny sack to haul the loot in, and ultimately, capture as his getaway car is slowed by I-85 traffic. Another entertaining piece with a clever hook.

Der Tubemeister's fiction was rejected for the Horizons this year, but he inexplicably got two poems in, so it is appropriate that most of his reviews this month are for poetry. Linda Elmore read a couple of promising and thoughtful poems. The first, "Browning Was A Fool," compared caring for an infant with tending to the needs of the elderly, while contrasting the hope of the little one with the pain of medically-extended death. The best is not yet to be, in Linda's view. The reviewers liked the message, and found good images in the work, but had some reservations about the inconsistent meter. Perhaps this piece would work better in free verse. Linda's second effort, "Write It Down," decries the notion that we can make our lives better by writing a list, then just following it. Linda prefers the routes that "meander here and there -- they lead round and round in circles, then deposit me I know not where," and the reviewers agreed. Again, the biggest need is more attention to meter, or abandoning meter for free verse.

Carolyn Rice read three poems that ranged from the funny and accessible ("My Trip to Wyoming," an entertaining string of limericks) to the "experimental," as Carolyn termed it ("Dreaming Stairs," a stream-of-consciousness series of images that reminded critiquers of the dream state that actually inspired the poem) to the more traditional ("Mare's Tale," a word picture of the mare's response to differing treatment). Carolyn writes with a great deal of confidence, with wonderful images and a clear sense, as she reads her work, of inflection and emphasis. Some readers, D.T. included, had some difficulty divining that emphasis from the way the words were organized on paper. Poetic license certainly includes arranging words for visual effect, but where inflection is important, as it appears to be here, perhaps the sentence structure should be less obscure.

Kevin Coyle treated us to great dialogue in an interesting story segment from his novel A Cool Dry Place. Main character, Christopher Darnell, who recently moved from a colony on Luna, is exploring and learning about his new home, New York City. At the site of the former World's Fair, he meets Selena, and we sense a budding romance. Our group's critiquing was mostly positive, but several people had trouble with a strange technique Kevin used. The story is related as though Christopher is telling it to Selena. This is most notable in the beats, like "You blinked" or "You brushed a wisp of hair." Kevin explained that Christopher is telling this story in flashback, but most of us agreed with Nancy Parker that the technique was too much for a whole novel.

We had a chance to do something different when it was Nan Lundeen's turn. She read us a few sentences from a proposed query letter: the lines that tell something of the story and should hook the reader. Unfortunately, we generally agreed they didn't work for us. Although Kathleen O'Hara is the main character, very little is said about her. Randy Crew suggested doing a rewrite that makes the reader say, "Wow, she's dynamite." Others questioned the references to 'Mexican-born' and 'a seedy port city in Connecticut,' but if that's in the story, so be it. Just tell us more about Kathleen O'Hara.

Joseph too went up from south Georgia from the city of Valdosta, to his home in north Georgia, a place named Gainesville, to register with his bride Mary, who by now was heavily pregnant. While they were there, her time came, and she gave birth to her first boy. She wrapped him in a blanket and laid him in an apple box. (There was no room for them at the hospital.)

Now there were some farmers in that section who were up late at night tending their baby chicks. And a messenger from the Lord appeared to them, and evidence of the Lord was shining all about them. It nearly scared the life out of them. And the messenger said to them, "Don't be afraid; for listen, I'm bringing you good news of a great joy in which all people will share. Today your deliverer was born in the city of David's family. He is the Leader. He is the Lord. And here's a clue for you: you will find the baby wrapped in a blanket and lying in an apple box." And all of a sudden there was with the messenger a crowd of angels singing God's praises and saying,

"Glory in the highest to God, And on Earth, peace to mankind, The object of his favor."

When the messengers went away from them into the sky, the farmers said to one another, "Let's go to Gainesville and see how all this the Lord has showed us has turned out." So they went just as fast as they could, and found Mary and Joseph, and the baby lying in an apple box. Seeing this, they related the story of what had been told them about this little fellow. The people were simply amazed as they listened to what the farmers told them. And Mary clung to all these words, turning them over and over in her memories. The farmers went back home, giving God the credit and singing his praises for all they had seen and heard, exactly as it had been described to them.

Luke 2:4-20 Cotton Patch Version

Printed Matters is the newsletter of the Greenville Chapter, SCWW, which meets on the first Thursday of each month at 6:00 p.m. at The Open Book, 110 S Pleasantburg Drive, Greenville, SC.

Thanks to our contributing writers and news reporters: Linda Elmore, Faye Tollison, Steve Heckman and Phil Arnold.

Copyright 2002 by Leland Beaudrot, Editor. Contributing writers retain all rights to their work.