Condolences to Barbara E upon the death of her mother; we missed you at the August meeting. Congrats to our own Andi B. We're all to become aunts and uncles in January. Hats off to Robin and Nancy who have been invited back as staff members of the next Christian Writers conference in Florida. (And another hat off to Robin's son Caleb who has arrived in LA to pursue his dream of film writing and directing). Gene F showed us the colorful new posters with his sports poetry for kids -- coming soon to a school classroom near you. We look forward to expanding our repertoire...new comer Diane Milks writes environmental non-fiction. Welcome, first-timer Barbara Burton. Y'all come back. And don't forget, all you single guys and gals, sign up with Randy Crew. He's in the Intro business and has already made his first promising (after a couple weeks, anyway) match!

Be sure to come out to our next meeting September 6!

My wonderful writing friends:

I appreciate the lovely flowers and caring card that expressed their sympathy at my mother's death. I have really missed being a part of the monthly meetings; I hope to see everyone again soon.

Barbara Elkins

Creative Loafing is looking for freelance writers for its News and Arts sections. If you don't mind its outrageously out-there advertisements, it generally contains some editorial matter well worth the read. Pick up a free copy in just about any local restaurant that serves on plates. If you would like to apply to supply your talent, send a resume, a brief cover letter and writing samples (published clips preferred) to Chris Haire, Managing Editor, Creative Loafing, 617 N Main St, Greenville SC 29601.

Ralph and Louie are back in Robin Monroe's story of conflict with Amy's new shoes, Glenda and Brenda. Ralph and Louie became play shoes when the newcomers arrived. They admitted being play shoes was fun, but they were dirty. That meant they would not be able to sleep under Amy's bed. Starsky, the family dog, grabbed Ralph and took off. The next day, no one could find Amy's right shoe.
As the story unfolds, the whole family's shoe population helps search for Ralph. One idea was to use Amy's Walkie doll to do the search. Around the table we felt that Walkie Doll was not the way to go. Find another rescuer. The appeal of all those personalities for shoes is a great hook. As we see the rest of the story, using cooperation for finding the lost shoe is a good lesson to incorporate into the story. Keep it up Robin; we are breathless to hear how Ralph got found.

Gene Fehler started a baseball book for adults, Slipper Muffit's 1956 Nonpareil Baseball Tour. The tour set up by Slipper Muffit where the folks travel to all sixteen baseball parks of each league and see 142 games in thirteen cities. The story begins in a Kansas City motel room with 77-year-old Knute and 25-year-old Willard sharing a room. Knute's stories about his late wife Sadie and an autographed ball set the scene. The ball is a 1909 one signed by Ty Cobb.
Suggestions were to break up some of Knute's long conversations. Is he somewhat lost in time, reminiscing about his dead wife? Randy and Jim felt that the story needed conflict. Not everyone agreed that conflict was missing. I began to wonder about the fate of the historic ball and the other 517 balls in Knute's collection at home. I saw that as a possible conflict. Would an unscrupulous Willard con Knute out of his treasures as the tour progresses?
Gene chose 1956 as his setting because it is his favorite baseball year and he has all copies of The Sporting News from that year! That means no one could challenge any of his statistics on those 142 games. He has my attention already. I'm not a fan of sports, but baseball and 1956 will get my book dollar.

Leland Beaudrot finishes his Fairy Play story. He revised pages 15 and 16 and began the story with the changes. Some suggestions: Change Kristin's name if possible. With Chrys and Kristin, it gets confusing. A question came up about when Dexter decided he did like Abbie. Make that more clear.
Phil was confused by the magic at the end. who was in Dexter's arms, Chrys or Abbie? If the reader doesn't see the magic, he/she will be confused. Show us how it worked. Make Chrys' leaving more dramatic. She needs more fanfare as she leaves.
The story setting is especially scenic. Having the Governor's School for the Arts and the Reedy River Park in the story makes the possibility of magic possible.

John Kingsbury's Dying with Amanda is peppered with Lutheran angst and salted with Johnny Preston's humorous recollections of learning to dance with Amanda Allison Wolfe. (She was famous because she was dying of leukemia). We thought John's characters were "strong and alive" and his humor was clever and original. John captures the terrible awkwardness of being a teenager and sets up some interesting dynamics: Is there any future for the socially clumsy Johnny Preston and the dying Amanda Wolfe? What's in store for the other fine folks of Harmony, Minnesota? We look forward to more. This is good, John. Shoot the pig.

Pat Stewart is becoming famous (well, mini-famous, first Thursday at SCWW famous) for finding humor in ordinary events. Is the tax rebate check in the mail or isn't it? Will she REALLY get it? What if she does? School supplies? Prom attire? Dinner and movies? Her new grandchild? Poor Pat sets up a can't win situation for just about every spending option she thinks of. Dinners are disappointing; laptops are too pricy; travel sucks it up before you even know it's gone. In the big scheme of things, three hundred dollars may not be such a big deal; in the tongue-in-cheek prose of the humorous Ms S, it is enough to drive a person to the edge. Fun writing, Pat.

Even with the restraints of vocabulary level and necessary word repetition, Andi Buckless has managed to create in It Was D-Day -- Doctor Day an easy-reader that is both unique and fun.
Readers will be charmed by the rhythm of the words and piqued by the suspense as the story takes us to a doctor's office and the threat of a dreaded shot.
"It's going to be bigger than a baseball bat," Big brother Gary gloats. He is merciless as he teases his little brother, the protagonist. So as the story takes a turn we can't help but feel a bit recompensed when Gary gets his in the end!

Debbie Cohan intrigued the Roundtable with another ongoing chapter of A Woman In-Between, adding enough humor to keep us laughing. A thumbs up was given on the Fredericks of California. The use of the word later as a transition was questioned. It was suggested skipping an extra line or the use of ellipsis. Two good choices, Debbie!
It was felt the ending did not lead into the next chapter. This should be easily fixed by simply adding onto the chapter bringing it to a satisfactory finish that will leave us wanting (panting) for more.
A character tapping on the edge of a plate with a knife would be too loud or abrasive (good point!), so it was agreed by the Roundtable to have her tap her finger on the edge of her plate.
At the end of the chapter, the main character admitted to be confused. Adding dialogue or action to show her confusion should correct this predicament by showing, not telling.
Two good points to remember: 1) Show, don't tell; 2) action after dialog.

[This is a holdover from the July meeting - my apologies for missing the newsletter deadline!]
In Sam Phillips' Other Niche in Rock 'n Roll History Phil Arnold does an excellent job of introducing us to Sam Phillips and his accomplishments, and then goes on to explain the claim that Phillips may have produced the first rock 'n roll record.
Phil tells us the story of "Rocket 88", a song labeled as recorded by Jackie Brenston and his Delta Cats (in reality, Ike Turner and the Kings of Rhythm). Phil gives a solid argument as to why this could be considered a first in rock 'n roll.
There was some discussion regarding the separate paragraphs dealing with black and white artists, and Phil agreed that he could explain this through emphasizing the racial climate of the 50's as well as the distinction between rock and blues. He also said that he could change "white hillbilly" to "hillbilly cats" or "rockabilly". Others were interested in Turner's reaction, due to his mercurial temper.

We were all delighted that Sue Renault continued with her children's book Elecphonse. Chapters two and three let us in on Dr. Dank's master plan: using the elephant he created to rob the zoo!
In these chapters, as well as in the first, Sue has done an excellent job of creating Dank's world. Her use of description is wonderful, appealing to all senses. Her quirky touches are humorous and serve to establish Dank's character. The technical names (rope-a-dope scope, triple flipple flange) and sounds work very well, as do Dank's exclamations of anger ("stoopie doopie dog", "double rouble drats").
Dank is foiled when his creature's "red rays of wrath" turn out to be baby blue, yet he continues on towards the zoo. The Poppingood children observe his departure at the chapter's end, leaving us waiting for more!!
There was one logistical question regarding the third chapter: how did Dank know that the eyes were blue? It was discussed that it should be made clear that Dank can see the beams. There was also some discussion regarding the introduction of the children earlier. Also, there was some dissension over the cricket image. Some readers had difficulty imagining its toe caught.
We are looking forward to more next time, Sue!!

Leland Beaudrot has intrigued us for months with his story about Dexter and Chrysanthemum. Now we have read the ending of "Fairy Play", and Leland pulled a little switcheroo on us: Dexter ends up with a real-life girl, fellow student and good friend Abbie. Our group was pleased with the result but suggested a bit of rewriting to make it more clear to the reader what happened when Dexter's kiss started with Chrys and ended with Abbie. Make this the strong finish and drop the little chit-chat about the crazy skinny dipping idea. Nice story, Leland.

Muses loom large on the screen of my imagination (or had you noticed). They usually take the form of a goddess of ancient mythology, like the statue of a Greek lady with a harp which sits on my desk. Yet the one muse I have personally known seemed to me more like a gnome, with more white hair on his chin than the top of his head, and darting, inquisitive eyes.
Jim Gittings, poet, author, editor and mentor was my personal guide, through three courses in Creative Writing, into the fellowship of the muse. He patiently endured our amateur prose and encouraged us to unlock the stories deep inside us. I can still see in his hands well thumbed paperbacks of today's best sellers from which he would read brief excerpts as examples to emulate.
"I've seen what you can do with these short stories," said Jim after class one evening. "But you need to be working on something longer so I can see how you can develop a plot." Over a year ago, I set myself to the challenge. Unfortunately, Jim will not be here to mentor me through this project as the final chapter of his earthly sojourn ended on August 3. He will be missed among the fellowship of muses, but I believe the former Presbyterian missionary would be quick to say his time on earth was mearly the preface to a never ending story.

Printed Matters is the newsletter of the Greenville Chapter, SCWW, which meets on the first Thursday of each month at 6:00 p.m. at The Open Book, 110 S Pleasantburg Drive, Greenville, SC.

Thanks to our contributing writers & news reporters: Pat Stewart, Sue Renault, Robin Prince Monroe, Faye Tollison, Andi Buckless, and Phil Arnold.

Copyright 2001 by Leland Beaudrot, Editor. Contributing writers retain all rights to their work.