Or could do this by comparing ourselves against principles, checking our alignment with them. In this manner 12-step programs could be useful to autistic folks, with caveats. (An entire essay/chapter could be written about this point)

If “the other” is so mysterious to try to comprehend, then it seems reasonable to judge/discern based on absolutes instead of relatives, adhering to principles rather than basing our control/direction on situational factors.

Unless the author is talking about dating? Who is it okay to kiss? When? “Control” and “direction” issues come up here when the goal is to figure out what’s okay with the other person...

In order for the above quote to be operative, some kind of feedback mechanism must be present, unless “the other” is a rigid specification sheet which can be followed even though not fully understood. Earlier I discussed autistic folks’ problems with feedback, and social “spec sheets” can be so convoluted and exception-ridden as to be useless.

So could we instead exercise self-control and self-direction by understanding ourselves? The “inventory” process spoken of in 12-step programs seems a useful tool for this. Just the awareness that one’s own perception/understanding of external events might be skewed is itself a valuable component of self-direction (and is known in some settings as a "broken perceiver")...

Last revised: June 22, 2007
(c)2007 Dave Spicer
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