It is as though nearly every social interaction has this feel for an autistic person.

More performance stuff here, of a type like dancing a hula where every motion has significance. It isn’t just what is said, but when, and the time-critical nature of “performance” is very difficult to maintain while figuring out stuff on-the-fly.

Grading of a performance is a problem as well, as with figure-skating “compulsories” - the basics everyone is supposed to have down cold. One or two tenths of a point lost can be a major disappointment.

Operating with receptivity-limited feedback, one never knows in real time how much importance/significance others will place on one’s actions. Something meant to be micro-scale will be interpreted as macro and generalized from, or vice versa. My partner tells me that at times she has the same experience when interacting with me... so the significance-assigning mechanism for autistic folks is evidently nonstandard both in the expressive and receptive modes.

What is important, anyway? The entire hierarchy of social niceties seems suspect to me. Maybe the use of sincerity as a modifiable factor - turning the “sincerity bit” on and off depending on the situation - is seen as legitimate by neurotypicals. So saying the right thing - whether or not it is meant - can be the most important consideration. Ugh.

Last revised: June 18, 2007
(c)2007 Dave Spicer
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