Polio Survivors Ask…

Q: A friend who had polio told me that since he uses a cane, people give him more room so he has less fear of being bumped by others. He wishes he used it a few years earlier. Me, too! How can we help people “get over” the fear of looking disabled?

A: Fear can be so self-destructive, can’t it. Early support group organizers ran into the problem of people’s not wanting to appear disabled again and again. We’d call polio survivors to interest them in attending meetings and would get this frequent response: “You know, I think I’d be so out of place there—I don’t look disabled. People can’t actually see that I had polio.”

Then, being assured that there would be many others in that same situation, they’d show up at the meeting—with one leg two inches shorter than the other, or a withered hand, or obvious scoliosis. For whatever reason, they told themselves they didn’t look disabled. Was this fear? What did “looking disabled” mean to them?

Recently a woman who, at the least, wore a short brace on one leg from the beginning said, “I didn’t think I had a disability. Nobody told me I couldn’t do things. The issue was whether or not I could perform, not whether or not I wore a brace.”

So disability doesn’t have to be a stigma. Not everyone is concerned about what others think of their using a cart or walking with a limp.

Perhaps the fear of looking disabled has less to do with how we believe others perceive us than with how we see ourselves. Will “they” think I’m odd? stupid? helpless? worthless? These are our fears. Do they truly reflect society’s conception of who we are? Since the advent of the ADA, many of us realize a newfound kinship with the rest of the world. Often we can get there now. And where physical obstructions still exist today, tomorrow they may not. Clearly others care more than before about making our surroundings serve us better. Some of them look with refreshing understanding upon disability. Can we say as much about the barriers in our own minds?

As for how we might help people “get over” the fear of looking disabled—maybe we should introduce them to this wonderfully auspicious line from polio survivor Dr. Arnold Beisser’s Flying Without Wings: “Acceptance with dignity is surrender without a sense of capitulation.”

That’s what our friend above finally did, isn’t it. He accepted his disability—found a way to allow himself to be OK with it. He discovered the good in using a cane, created a positive reason to go for it. That’s acceptance with dignity. This is an inside job. Nobody else can do it for us.

It’s a choice. Say I roll into the sexy nightie shop and the cashier pretends she doesn’t see me—reaches right over my chair to wait on the guy in line behind me. What do I do? Take it personally? Get angry, bemoan my disabled state, feel ashamed, wish I’d never thought of coming into this store?

Or do I say to myself, “Poor baby—she doesn’t have a clue,” move in closer, read the name tag she’s wearing, smile, and say in a cheery voice, “Hey, Gladys, let me help you reach these pajamas so you can ring them up more easily.” I know which response is going to make me feel better. And feeling better is in my best interest.

Truth is, we all do what we want to do. Me? I think Beisser is right. I choose acceptance.

Nancy Baldwin Carter, B.A, M.Ed.Psych, from Omaha, Nebraska, is a polio survivor, a writer, and is founder and former director of Nebraska Polio Survivors Association.

Source: Post-Polio Health International

MOBILE AREA POST-POLIO SUPPORT GROUP meets the 4th Saturday each month except November & December at 1 pm West Regional Branch Mobile Public Library	PENSACOLA POST-POLIO SUPPORT GROUP meets the 3rd Saturday every month at 10 am Baptist Towers Lobby 1717 North E and Avery Streets, Pensacola, Florida
Notes from the MAPPSG Meetings July and August Meetings - Sylvia Bern reporting The group exchanged news about various members. Julie Ford visited the Roosevelt Center in Warm Springs, Ga. She brought back a booklet about the history of polio which was handed out at the museum. There are new buildings there now. Mary Ellen Blankenship had 2 new braces made at Warm Springs. She says it's the only place that can fit her properly. Larry Ready tried out a new Japanese scooter. The design was not quite appropriate for polio survivors with paralysis in the legs. I brought some ARTHRITIS TODAY magazines to share with the group. They have good information for people like us. July was our 13th anniversary. We celebrated with delicious cookies (provided by Patsy) and soft drinks. We are looking for new members. Invite! Invite! The outing for both groups was cancelled due to scheduling problems. Summer has been a busy time for everyone. Attendance July: Patsy Adams ~ Sylvia Bern ~ MaryEllen Blankenship ~ Laurence Byrd ~ Betty Driscoll ~ John Driscoll ~ George Fassig ~ JoAnn Fassig ~ Julie Ford ~ Rus Ford ~ Clara Norsworthy ~ George Norsworthy ~ Carol Weller ~ Ed Weller Attendance August: Patsy Adams ~ Sylvia Bern ~ MaryEllen Blankenship ~ Betty Driscoll ~ John Driscoll ~ Julie Ford ~ Rus Ford ~ Clara Norsworthy ~ George Norsworthy September Meeting - Patsy Adams reporting Fourteen people enjoyed a special treat provided by Julie Ford. She even provided baggies for taking home the leftover brownies. Julie also shared an article telling of a man who very successfully had a hip replacement. The replacement was to the leg opposite the polio leg. John Driscoll told of experiencing pain in his foot and leg. The discomfort was keeping him from sleep and rest. He has a new medicine which appears to be helpful as he reported he has had one good night of rest. Charles Gollott encouraged everyone to regularly get a colonoscopy. Patsy Adams shared a new article by Dr. Bruno from the September issue, New Mobility magazine. The bottom line is do as you are able remembering the bottom is REST. The article is online at http://www.newmobility.com/ Vera Moore accepted early retirement, she had planned to work until she was ninety. Sympathy is extended to John Driscoll whose brother, The Reverend Monsignor Maurice Francis Driscoll, 93, fell asleep in Christ on Wednesday, Sept. 9, 2009. Attendance September: Patsy Adams ~ Sylvia Bern ~ Betty Driscoll ~ John Driscoll ~ George Fassig ~ JoAnn Fassig ~ Julie Ford ~ Rus Ford ~ Charles Gollott ~ Clara Norsworthy ~ George Norsworthy ~ Larry Ready ~ Carol Weller ~ Ed Weller	Notes from the PPPSG Meetings July 2009 Meeting - Leigh Dethlefs reporting Our July support group meeting was great. We had 14 people which is not bad for a vacation month. We talked about how other members are doing that can't come to the meeting. Jim and Shirley Neil spoke about their trip. Clara spoke about the problem with her lungs which she feels is Polio related. Another Polio problem we discussed was a problem of getting in and out of an above ground pool. Everything from an engine hoist to a sling shot was talked about. The sling shot was shot down due to ending up in a neighbor’s yard. It's the simple things which gives us the greatest problems. We polio people are nothing if not inventive. We are also talking about another get to gather with Mobile and Pensacola group for October but will learn more info in our coming meetings. Hope to see everyone at the August meeting. Attendance: George Dethlefs ~ Leigh Dethlefs ~ Pat Kaderly ~ Ron Kaderly ~ Cliff Martin ~ Kay Martin ~ Charlie Myers ~ Jim Neil ~ Shirley Neil ~ Clara Norsworthy ~ George Norsworthy ~ Gail Page ~ T M Stanfield ~ Mary Warnick August 2009 Meeting - Leigh Dethlefs reporting We had a great meeting with 16 people. We had Ben Brooks from Comfort-N-Mobility, Inc to speak with us . He went over what they offer and how to get screened for the equipment that we may need. It is not just a prescription from our doctor. One of the people from Comfort-N-Mobility will look at your home and tell you what you need and then you go to the doctor with one of their forms that must be filled out. He also cautioned us to check out what our insurance company will authorize and not just take someone else's word. We really enjoyed his talk and he provided us with pamphlets and doughnuts. It is nice to have information before we need it. We had lots of questions and invited him to come again. I think Ben was surprised at how much fun we have at our meetings and our funny nicknames. It is always a great pleasure to have so many people come so we can catch up with each other. When we say how are you, we really want to know. Shirley and Jim Neil also spoke on our Thanksgiving Luncheon at their house this year instead of getting together in October. It will be cooler and everyone can bring a covered dish that will compliment turkey and dressing they are going to have. We really do appreciate their willingness to let us invade their house and yard for our get to together. We look forward to our next meeting and hope to see you there. Attendance: Ben Brooks ~ Leigh Dethefs ~ George Dethlefs ~ Cindy Ice ~ Theresa Inge ~ Pat Kaderly ~ Ron Kaderly ~ T M Stanfield ~ JoAnn McCoy ~ Charlie Murphy ~ Jim Neil ~ Shirley Neil ~ George Norsworthy ~ Clara Norsworthy ~ Zofia Sywak ~ Mary Warneck September 2009 Meeting - Leigh Dethlefs reporting Our September meeting had a small meeting of seven people, but had a great meeting as some people we had not seen for awhile and were so glad to know they were doing good. We discussed our get together with the Mobile group in November but found it was not to be. Hopefully it will be rescheduled sometime next year. It doesn't matter when, just so we get together at some point. Also our Christmas party this year will be on December 5th as to not interfere with the holidays. We will not have a November meeting as it would just be two weeks until our Christmas party. We will discuss it further at our October meeting. Hope to see everyone there. Attendance: Jane Clark ~ Leigh Dethlefs ~ George Dethlefs ~ Magaret Nail ~ Bob Nail ~ Clara Norsworthy ~ Mary Warneck
Contact for additional information e-mail Vera Moore	Contact for additional information e-mail Leigh Dethlefs

These Post-Polio Supports Groups are supported by
Goodwill Easter Seals of the Gulf Coast
In Mobile - Chara Brown ~ 251-471-1581 ~ chara@gesgc.org
In Pensacola - Liz Cravatt ~ 850-434-0032 ~ liz@gesgc.org
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